Hellobee Boards

It's tricky! I wanted to tell people I was having an IUI b/c it felt like a big deal and I was excited, but I didn't want them asking afterwards b/c when I do get pregnant, I won't tell anyone for awhile. I did have one friend ask, and it was sad to have to call her back and tell her it didn't work. I won't tell friends next time.

So I agree with @MKP17:--saying "just thinking about you, no need to respond unless you want to!" kind of email or text would be nice. That way she can choose to respond if she wants to.

@mkp17: That's what I preferred as well.

By the time we got to the end of our IVF, I felt like a lot of people knew what was going on and everyone knew what day we'd be getting news. That put SO much stress on me because I felt like I'd have to tell everyone right away and even if it was + what if something happened and I had told people already? When you go through IVF (and, I imagine, IUI) you already feel like you've been robbed of so much of the "regular" pregnancy process, and telling people who asked whether it worked or not was just another thing that I didn't get to do "normally."

If I were you, I'd let her know that you're thinking good thoughts for her, but let her share her news (hopefully it will be good news!) when she feels ready.

I think you got good advice... don't ask outright, but let her know you're thinking of her. The main reason I didn't tell anyone (except one friend) is that I didn't want to have to disappoint them all one by one with bad news.

I definitely preferred "how are you" to "did it work". We're very open about our struggles so quite a few people knew about the IVF. It was tough to have to tell them all no, but the amount of support we received was great.

@mkp17: I agree. This is perfect. If she wants to open up to you about her last or current IUI or IVF, she will.

My sister has friends with IF and so she kinda gets what I'm going through. Which is great sometimes but she happen to text me on a day after I got a and I just did not want to talk about it. I texted her that and I think she got the hint. I felt bad for being that way but I just didn't feel like hashing it all up again. I was slowly on the mend and just wanted to move on and think of the next cycle.

Anyway, a simple 'I want you to know that I'm thinking of you and if you want to talk about it, I'm here for you,' can be just what I need. It's the thought of support that can lift my spirits. I might not want to talk but knowing that others are thinking of me, makes me feel less alone. Especially in the world where most of my friends are posting about baby pregnancy, milestones and everything else.