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I'd need to know more about the "research." Can it be found in a credible journal? Or are they citing something like http://www.daycareisbad.com?

I would imagine daycare + a place to live and food to eat is much better developmentaly than going without needed income at home!

Hmm... Maybe if they went to a lazy daycare? Which is not really much different than growing up with lazy parents. At least at lazy daycare they'd get some social interaction.

I can certainly see where this statement comes from...there's a camp of people that think staying home is the absolute best thing you can do/why bother having children if you're going to send them to daycare.

Then there is the camp that feels the best thing you can do for your child is expose them to people early and often.

I think there is also a moderate camp, where they do daycare or part time Mothers Day Out programs beginning at 15 months/2 years of age.

This article is interesting:

http://tinyurl.com/lsdpgcp

Here is my take away from the article . . . (1) it’s impossible to predict how day care is going to affect any individual child; (2) what’s so much more important than child care in shaping a child's future is what her home life is like; and (3) "when the mother’s choice was congruent with what she wanted and believed, children did well, . . . [w]hat’s best for you, then, may well be what’s best for your kids, too."

@Mae: I'm just going to go ahead and agree with you because you said everything I wanted to say (minus the snark I would have been unable to avoid!)

@Mae: yes!

I think it's stupid. Any "study" where the source cited is: "how to not fuck up your kids" gets a big fat eye roll from me. Are all the daycare babies growing up to be burger flippers or something? Oh, the study only goes until age 15? Meh.

This part jumped out at me:
"When moms said it was better for mothers to stay home with their kids, and these mothers did stay home with their kids, their children fared very well. When moms felt that it is OK to work and put kids in child care, and these moms did work and put their kids in child care, their kids did great too."

Maybe we should work on changing our attitudes towards working moms and being a working mom instead of thinking that "daycare is bad". Especially when 50% of kids are in some kind of non-mom care.

Th Mayo Clinic pregnancy book looked at an aggregate of studies (which went either way oon the good/bad thing) and I think the conclusion was that it makes no difference, except where the kids are in a really low quality childcare situation, and even then it was only a slight negative effect.

@yoursilverlining: I was thinking the same thing. Just what I need is some working mommy guilt on a Monday morning.

@autumnlove: Me too. LO's learned so much as a daycare kid. He's got a great group of ladies who love him there. They've been helpful with behavior, etc. I think all of us having grown up a lot since he's been in daycare.

my LO doesn't go to daycare as i WAH, but i think it would be great for her to go part time to socialize and do new activities! my LO learns a lot from observing kiddos that are older than her and i've seen her pick up tasks from one day with our friends with older kids. i also think it would be great for me to have uninterrupted work time without feeling like i'm ignoring LO or rushing to get things done during nap time!

i will be looking into it in the fall when i get busier with work. i went to preschool when i was 2/3 and my siblings went to a home daycare and it was great for us!

each family has to do what's right for them in terms of childcare. what works for one, doesn't work for another and i think we need to be supportive of each choice! it's hard enough for us mommas!

I think that whether it is positive or negative depends on the child, it depends on the kind of daycare you send them to and it also depends on the skills the potential stay-at-home parent has....

My daughter starts daycare next week at 6.5 months because I am going back to work. I love my girl, I really do, but I just don't know what to *do* with her all day every day..... Once the excitement of "oh look, it's mummy" wears off in the morning, she's bored and thrusting her giraffe at her, cooing "it's Sophieeee!" wears thin for her quicker than it does for me, it would appear!!! At daycare, she will get constant interaction all day. She will get to watch and play with other babies, she will hang out with grown ups who, bless their saintly souls, never tire of stimulating her, never find themselves reaching for the laptop, never put her down for a nap before she's quite ready because they really need a break.

I never realised how hard spending all day with a baby was and I'm thankful that I can outsource that to someone who has the endless patience and the skills I sadly lack. Those parents who stay home with their child(ren) and are able to meet all of their needs are amazing - going to mum's groups to ensure their child gets social interaction and dreaming up new ways to stimulate their child(ren) day in and day out. The children of these men and women, I have no doubt, would fare equally well or even better at home. My daughter, on the other hand, will do better in daycare, of that I'm sure.

These "cited articles" sound suuuper skewed and judgmental:

-Every Child's Birthright: In Defense of Mothering
-A Creche Can't Love Them
-Do We Want Government to Be Our Baby-Sitter?
-The Fractured Family: Following It into the Future
-Nasty, Brutish, and Short: Children in Day Care and the Mothers who Put Them There

I mean, wtf? Not sure those are ultra reputable sites

I kind of lost faith in that article published on the National Observer when I saw that some of the sources quoted were originally published in the 1950s and 60s. So, yeah, not putting too much stock in it.

As for daycare being bad, let's remember that Dr. Maria Montessori began her work for children in the slums, when children were left behind by their working parents. Her famous method came to be because there was a need for it.

@Cherrybee: I agree with pretty much all of this.

Look, I didn't have a career I left to have my son. I assumed I'd be a SAHM at least for a while. E is 18 months old, and I think the best thing for both of us is for me to go back to work and him to go to daycare. I've been grateful that I've gotten to spend this time with him, but I really don't think I'm meant to be a SAHM. I lose my patience easily, he has no interest in any stimulation activities (the ones I can manage to think of), I let him watch more television that I know I should because he's bored and screaming and pulling things down and I'm exhausted and need a break. To add to that, the only real socialization opportunity he has is at baby time at the library, and he'd rather break out of the room than interact with the other children.

There are no mom groups here (unless they are super secret). I tried to start one, and it failed badly, probably in large part because I'm really not very social myself. There are no museums, or baby gyms. I'm sure there are some in the bigger towns around here (but still not many) but right now we're sharing a car and I only get it a day or two during the week, and those days are reserved for errands like grocery shopping.

E has been thriving despite all of this, but I feel like I'm failing him by staying home with him, and I think that being in daycare will be SO good for him. And I'm hoping that I'll start feeling some personal worth again once I go back to work.

Those moms, the ones that fervently believe and promote things like that article, probably think I'm a horrible person who will ruin my child, but they can buzz off. No one situation is a perfect fit for every family. We've tried me staying home--I'm not happy and I'm not doing as well for my son as I could. I think he'll benefit more from being in daycare. Maybe I'm delusion and maybe I am selfish, but I can't imagine that having a miserable mother will do him any good in the long run.

@yoursilverlining, right?! In a fractured family, of course.

@lovehoneybee, your honesty is refreshing, and I will NEVER believe that having a miserable mother will EVER do a child any good. No way, no how.

@lovehoneybee: What you wrote was me, before I returned to work. The only difference is that I did have a career to leave, but you know what, I stepped right back into it.

@cascademom: @blackbird: Thanks

@looch: Can I assume that you're happier being back at work and your child is thriving in daycare and you're happy with your decision? ETA: Because although I'm certain this is the right move, I'm still nervous....