Hellobee Boards

Definitely not! There may be SOME luck involved, but a lot more skill.

Also when I first read the title of this post I thought it said "Is HITTING a well behaved toddler luck?"

I think it's mostly luck when they are younger and partly discipline. As they age, the proportion changes and luck decreases while discipline increases. But so much of their behavior is inherent and part of their personality. When they are little, they haven't learned how to control themselves yet.

Plus they go through so many phases- there was a period when taking our daughter out to eat was a nightmare, but prior to that, and a few months after that, she was fine. There was just a window where sitting in her seat and being quiet was not something she was capable of doing.

Oh my gosh I hate this!!

I have nannyed many children in the past and the one family I'm still with I started when their daughter was 2.5 and expected tantrums and challenges... she was a dream. When she was upset she calmly told me why; she never lashed out and hardly ever disobeyed. She had a great deal of respect for her parents and it showed at that young age.

I started really paying attention to how they raised her and it's been enlightening. Although she is a more mellow child by nature - I 100% believe it was her parents. Her little brother is definitely more active and curious and has been more of a challenge but even he isn't awful!!

So I read many books that she read and I'm hoping I "luck out" (jk) haha

@Andrea: yeah that's totally annoying

I think it's a lot of love, disapline and a little luck. I use to get, "wow your son is so polite and well behaved--you're doing a great job" when he was in the 2's. I miss those days! He's not horrible in public at 3 but challenging sometimes. I definitely don't hear, "he's so well behaved" as much now. I'm not sure what has caused him to have melt downs recently but I wish I could understand him better so I blame myself a little for his tantrums.

Anyway, I don't think it's fair to say your child behaves because you got lucky!

@Coco Bee: I'm interested, what do you think helped their LO's to be calm? What books did she have on those years?

@HeatherlovesKenny: She followed The Baby Book religiously - she is a cosleeping, extended BF'ing mom. Her daughter slept with them until 3 yo when her brother was born. He is 18 mos and sleeps with them.

There was this other book that was really good that she read but I don't remember the name. It was all treating your child with respect even from infancy.

Another great one that I loved was Grace Based Parenting.

One discipline technique that I LOVED (it was def never seen in my house!) was that when she was testing her boundaries, the mom would warn her and tell her that if she did X she would get a spanking. If the girl proceeded to do X the mom was very calm and would say, okay, we have to go get the spoon. Immediately after a spank, she comforted her daughter and then asked her if she knew why she had to get a spank. The daughter would tell her, then say she was sorry. In minutes they were happy again and the daughter never was mad at the mom!! I am AMAZED, My mom always disciplined in anger and many times I had no idea what I did wrong. I harbored a lot of resentment and bitterness toward her for it that definitely surfaced as a teen.
But this was totally different and I loved the gentleness of it. I never thought I'd think spanking was "gentle" but it totally was.

Now I know every kid responds differently. One of my brothers definitely never responded to spanking... but I think it's the general idea that worked not necessarily the method.

@Coco Bee: ahh! Okay, I think I'm going to pick up that book if I see it at the library today. I'm really needing some help with DS! I was even thinking of asking his ped what books he recommended but I'll check out Grace Based Parenting too!

I think it depends what the "bad" behavior is and how old the child is/whether or not they're aware of it. I don't think it's "luck" with toddlers necessarily...you have to adjust your parenting style, too.