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I have no idea on the cultural thing, but that's rude!

@mrsjyw: A lot of aunties I know, the first thing they talk/ask about when they see you is about your weight! Or if you were single, why aren't you married yet, etc!

It's def not very positive whether it's a cultural thing or not, but I def see very similar things when talking to friends from the same culture.

i think it can be. some cultures it's more acceptable to voice criticism than others. i've worked as a nanny in a couple asian families and i've been told that some things i would find to be rude or out of line are totally normal and acceptable coming from older females in the family.

@looch: i think our culture determines what is rude though- like in mr. bird's culture, yelling isn't rude, it's pretty normal, so his family doesn't understand why i find their behavior to be unacceptable when they yell. in asian families i've been told it isn't considered rude to force fed adults (i was shocked the first time i had an elderly woman shoving food in my face while my hands were occupied holding a baby!) or comment on weight. i don't think some people are doing things with any idea their behavior is perceived as rude, it's their cultural norm. i do agree that rude people are everywhere, doing things they know to be rude, but not all rudeness is done with intent

Hmmm, older people in my family are very critical. They will make your weight a dinner time topic..wow, you got so much fatter since the last time I saw you!

I am genuinely curious now, when a comment becomes an insult. So you are short. Someone calls you "shorty." It is a fact, not just a random trait someone decided to apply.

In the Asian culture, is skinniness or fatness prized? Is it mentioned because it's an honor to have a heavy wife (I don't know the country specifically where this is the case).

@looch: Skinny is prized!!!

@mrsjyw: I don't think it's a cultural thing--my parents are exactly the same. They nit pick and seem to look for the bad in any given situation. The first thing they say when we see them is "she looks fat" or "she looks grumpy". sigh.

Definitely in Korean culture alas. sorry about the negative comments... I guess I'm used to them and tune them out!

I don't know if it's cultural, but my whole family is crazy critical! I notice it most with food. I hate cooking for them because they're always like "what did you put in this? oh really? I usually do it this way..." (even my brother who doesn't really cook!) and when I buy food for them, whether we're at a restaurant or we order takeout, they always say it's not that good. I dread ordering the takeout I know they'll love because I know one day they will say "what happened to this place?? It used to be good, not anymore..." I'm always having to defend people to them!

My mom is always on the search for good concealer, so finally I recommended the cle de peau expensive stuff everyone raves about, and turns out she had it in her purse and -- you guessed it -- "it's not that good"

I think I have blocked out all criticism of my kids because I just can't handle taking it as actual criticism! I just brush it off as them being ridiculous, as they always are...

I think it's really common in Asian culture to be blunt...which often comes across rude!

@autumnlove: @mamabear57: not according to my grandma! She would always comment that I was too skinny and that I needed to gain weight and be more like my sister - who was pregnant!

I think it is somewhat cultural. Arabs do it too. What may come off an insanely tube to my American friends is totally normal to me sometimes. I guess I got used to tuning them out?

My british grandmother was awesome at the complisult, then the flat out insult. It mostly centred on appearance and the older she got the nastier they became.