What would you call this? Say your child appears in your bed every night, sometime in the middle of the night. You want said child OUT of your bed. You tell said child that if they sleep through the night in their bed and only come in after the sun starts coming up, they can have a quarter. One quarter for every night they sleep the entire night in their room.
Bribery or parenting?
68 votes
wonderful cherry / 21504 posts
It's smart. I would gladly pay 25 cents for a night of sleep!
(Says the mom gong through M&Ms like its my job during potty training).
eggplant / 11716 posts
Both? Put it on a sticker chart and you can feel smug about your quarter parenting method. ;-0
pear / 1718 posts
Neither - an INCENTIVE. 
And truly, when it comes to sleep, pretty much whatever works works. Because it's so damn important!
hostess / wonderful persimmon / 25556 posts
@Truth Bombs: @Foodnerd81: @Anagram: @pwnstar: killing it this morning, ladies. KILLING it. 
hostess / wonderful grape / 20803 posts
@Truth Bombs: I call it "survival of any parent"
@Anagram: haha!
So, I would TRY it and if it worked maybe do it for a week and then try to shift to another reward system eventually.
pomelo / 5573 posts
I think it's both, but who cares? As long as you have a plan for when/how to stop paying.
hostess / wonderful persimmon / 25556 posts
@winniebee: @erinbaderin: good call for having a plan at the end. Maybe we will move to a sticker chart and have a big prize if we go a month or something like that.
honeydew / 7303 posts
Oh man! Genius! I've been doing this same scenario but offering a chips ahoy. Lol!
honeydew / 7488 posts
It's just one of the tools in your toolbox that you use in the job of parenting... and smart parents know how to use their tools... Hope it works...
eggplant / 11824 posts
It's just reality! And a quarter for working towards decent sleep is a damn good deal! 
pear / 1586 posts
It's a part of operant conditioning called positive reinforcement. You're giving a reward/incentive (the quarter) to increase the likelihood of the desired behavior (staying in bed until the sun comes up). Perfectly legit in the psychology world and in parenting!
pear / 1657 posts
@mediagirl: how old is your LO? I desperately want my LO to sleep in his own bed, but he's just about to turn 2, and I am not sure he understands incentives (or bribes, or parenting) yet.
hostess / wonderful persimmon / 25556 posts
@CakeLady: she will be 4 soon. She is totally into incentives. And understands having things taken away. I don't think she would have gotten this as well at 2. Thankfully she doesn't start sleeping in our bed, she just comes in randomly at night when she wakes up and finds she is all alone and wants to snuggle with a warm body.
pear / 1657 posts
@mediagirl: oh man, I have to wait 2 years to not have a middle of the night intruder?!? DS goes to sleep in his own bed, but wakes up EVERY night and screams until we bring him in our bed.
nectarine / 2148 posts
Isn't this also reward style parenting? Similar to giving food if they do x? Same difference.
grapefruit / 4584 posts
@CakeLady: we recently started giving my two year old a sticker on the AM when she stays in her own crib...it is helping the situation a lot. If she gets up at night, we remind her she won't get an Elsa sticker in the AM if she comes in our bed. She generally agrees to stay put.
nectarine / 2521 posts
I think it's definitely a good incentive! That being said I happily believe and employ bribery a lot.
pomegranate / 3272 posts
I tell people that my parenting style is bribes and threats so. . . . 
GOLD / papaya / 10166 posts
We did that with DD1 around 2.5/3 yrs old because she wouldn't stay in her bed. We gave her a puzzle piece for each night she stayed in her bed. If she got all the pieces (4 total). then she could pick something fun for us to do that weekend. Worked like a charm!
... Now to get DD2 to do it.
pineapple / 12053 posts
i love these answers! and i might start a sticker chart or quarters as my new survival technique!
apricot / 317 posts
It's a reward, not a bribe. A bribe would be given to her BEFORE she did what you wanted...a reward is given AFTER she does what you want. : ). That's why bribes don't work...but rewards can be very effective, LOL.
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