Is it disrespectful to write this on an invitation?

Category:

Is it disrespectful to write this on an invitation?

By DisneyBee Dec 30, 2014

So my DS2's 1st birthday is coming up in a few months. We have a ton of toys from Christmas, and also have a lot of hand-me-downs from DS1.

Therefore, I was going to request books or clothes, instead of toys, on the invitation. However, would it be disrespectful to add a link to DS2's 529 account? Some of my friends have said that they would contribute to his college account, but not sure how everyone else would take it. They can definitely see through the link that it is for college, and not for ourselves. However, I know money can be a sensitive subject for many people.

Thoughts?

You might also enjoy...

Tags: (no tags yet)

24 comments

anonysquire
cantaloupe / 6923 posts

Dec 30, 2014

I wouldn't put it. If friends want to donate they can ask privately for the info.
autumnlove
hostess / wonderful watermelon / 39513 posts

Dec 30, 2014

Yes, I think gift requests on invites are rude.
coopsmama
cantaloupe / 6059 posts

Dec 30, 2014

@anonysquire: This.

I don't think it's appropriate to specify what kind of gifts you want unless someone asks for that information.
Ginabean3
pomegranate / 3401 posts

Dec 30, 2014

I personally wouldn't put anything about gifts on any kind of invitation. People will inevitably ask you or family or close friends what to get your LO and at that time you can verbally suggest something!
rrachael
kiwi / 506 posts

Dec 30, 2014

Personally I have no problem with people asking for donations to a college account in lieu of toys ... But when my cousin did this, my mom and aunts were super put off by it. So - based on that, I'd leave it off the invite and just mention it if someone asks
winter_wonder
persimmon / 1479 posts

Dec 30, 2014

I wouldn't put any info about gifts on the invite
wheres_c
pomelo / 5789 posts

Dec 30, 2014

No gift mentions on invite!
DisneyBee
apricot / 340 posts

Dec 30, 2014

Looks like it's unanimous...no mentioning it then. I assumed so, but thought I'd ask my fellow HB'ers. I'll just send the link to my friends that ask.
daniellemybelle
cantaloupe / 6669 posts

Dec 30, 2014

We included an insert asking no gifts & for donations to the children's hospital instead. Got the idea from a HB blogger!
Mrs. Lemon-Lime
wonderful pea / 17279 posts

Dec 30, 2014

@daniellemybelle: did you still receive gifts for your LO? How did people donate to the hospital? Direct to hospital? Bring gifts or checks to the party for the hospital?
ineebee
pear / 1580 posts

Dec 30, 2014

As someone who always has trouble thinking of gifts, I would appreciate it, but I can see how most others would be put off by it. One thing I've seen that is kind of in-between is indicating that no gifts are necessary. This at least limited the amount of toys received.
MrsTiz
cantaloupe / 6800 posts

Dec 30, 2014

I agree that on a typical invite I would wrinkle my nose at that but maybe you can print out little cards with the link on it to slip into those who you know wouldn't be offended and those who had already asked about it? So if you know your neighbor would be off put, don't put one but if your friend asked about donating she'd have the link? Idk.
ineebee
pear / 1580 posts

Dec 30, 2014

@MrsTiz: I like that!
looch
wonderful pear / 26210 posts

Dec 30, 2014

@ineebee: me too, I like the insert idea as well. I am very practical when it comes to gift giving and I loathe the idea of people donating items I gifted for a host of reasons, so I'd much rather see this!
LuLu Mom
GOLD / wonderful olive / 19030 posts

Dec 30, 2014

I would not mention it on invite, but if someone asks I would spread the word by mouth and say "actually with Christmas we were hoping to get clothes for spring and books, or even a donation to his college would be great!" I would tell my mom/sisters and they are usually good about spreading the word. Also, I would have no problem telling my best friends, we always tell each other what we/our kids "really" want in terms of gifts.
AmandaB8
clementine / 849 posts

Dec 30, 2014

We put an info card in there - DD's clothing size and 529 link were on there.
MOMTOLITTLEB
persimmon / 1188 posts

Dec 30, 2014

I wouldn't put it personally because it feels like outright asking for money. Plus people enjoy buying things for kids, even kids who need nothing. Maybe make it known to your close friends and family that you've started saving with a 529 and they might mention it to others if they ask what to get him.
littlejoy
pomegranate / 3375 posts

Dec 30, 2014

@DisneyBee: I wouldn't include it ... But if someone asked, I'd totally give them that info. If they press you and say they want to do a gift, tell them that LO can always use books.
Greentea
pomelo / 5678 posts

Dec 30, 2014

I wouldn't mention gifts. I don't think people want to be told what to buy honestly. If they do, they will ask.
PrincessBaby
cantaloupe / 6610 posts

Dec 30, 2014

I would not give direction on gifts on an invitation, unless the direction is that you are not accepting gifts or something along those lines. If someone asks you, then share, but definitely never put it in the invite.
Rainbow Sprinkles
eggplant / 11287 posts

Dec 30, 2014

If you don't want toys as gifts, don't throw a party, or specify "no gifts please."

You can't specify which kind of gifts you want.
daniellemybelle
cantaloupe / 6669 posts

Dec 30, 2014

@Mrs. Lemon-Lime: Just a few. Maybe three and we had about 50 people. We got maybe 15 donations. We asked folks to bring unwrapped clothes, books or toys if they wanted to the party. I took LO to drop them off at the children's hospital. I hope to make it an annual tradition. Next year, we will definitely ask folks to label their gift or have a way for them to leave their name though because I had no way to write thank you notes.
Mrs. Jacks
blogger / pineapple / 12381 posts

Dec 31, 2014

We always specify no gifts. We usually get books. You definitely get more thoughtful gifts when you specify no gifts, ironically!
looch
wonderful pear / 26210 posts

Dec 31, 2014

@Rainbow Sprinkles: With the exception of bridal and baby showers, of course.

	Today	Monthly Record
Topics	0	0
Posts	1	0

Hellobee Boards

Is it disrespectful to write this on an invitation?

You might also enjoy...

Reply

most popular tags

most recent archives

Recent Blog Posts

Recent Board Posts

Classifieds

Deals

Today's Leaders

Birthday Parties

Today's Posts

Site Basics

Features

Series

The Team

More