I know DH doesn't get worked up over leaving LO. It's not that he doesn't love LO every bit as much as I do... He just doesn't get upset by leaving.
Does your DH?
Why is it so easy for them to leave?
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2 Sunday's ago was P's first time in the nursery & DH *needed* to carry her there & he was super nervous about leaving her. He's funny like that though! lol
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he is okay leaving, but is always the first to go get her when he gets back, even if we are both gone, he pushes me aside to get his snuggles in even before me!
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It bugs me that my husband will go golfing on the weekends or spend time with his friends watching sports when he barely sees Liam during the week. I have a hard time spending any time away from him on the weekends and I get to spend 3+ hours with him everyday after work! I know he loves him more than anything, but he definitely doesn't have that guilt that I have.
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DH hates leaving LO and has such a hard time with it! LO used to wake before he left for work so he'd get about an hour of play time and snuggling before he left. When it came time to leave, it would take him a few tries before he'd walk out of the room - he'd keep coming back for one more kiss.
Now he starts work quite early and LO sleeps later, but he still can't help himself from going in her room to look at her for a bit before he leaves. He'll also lean over the cot and give her kisses on her forehead a few times before he finally walks out the door. That usually wakes her up so he can have a proper snuggle, but I get grumpy because I'm not ready for her to be awake for the day at 5:45, so he's cutting back on that.
I don't think he feels any guilt (I'm a SAHM) but he just misses her and misses interacting with her all day. It is actually quite sweet.
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Yeah he definitely has a hard time! He is way more overprotective and nervous than I am though, which is adorable. He always runs over to O when we/he gets home and scoops him up for cuddles! I married a great man
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@mrs. tictactoe: same here. I don't get it! when I ask he just shrugs.
my DH loves LO, but seems totally fine leaving her.
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He doesn't mind in the slightest. He gets excited to see him when he gets home from work and he's very attached but he has no problem leaving. It's so odd to me because I start to have separation anxiety as soon as we walk out the door!
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Um... we're both pretty ok with leaving LO. I mean, we look forward to seeing him again, and if one of us works late enough that we miss bedtime we're disappointed, but I'd say in general that we're both pretty ok with it.
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I don't have trouble leaving either... I get a lot of time with the kids though!
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He is more ok with it then I am. But I don't think that either of us has a super hard time. That said I have only left her for three hours at the most. I know it is going to be so hard to take her to day care.
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@Running Elley: same! I guess it just goes along with being a mama (for some people, don't want to generalize!).
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Dh doesn't seem to mind leaving lo one little bit! Lo is 7.5 months and he's been out drinking (and stayed out the whole night) and has had weekends away and he doesn't feel guilt. It's a different story when it comes to me wanting a break (just a few hours!) he doesn't understand why having a break is important since I'm a SAHM. urgh.
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I don't think it is all that easy for us to leave, but I would argue that because there isn't a system of paternity leave in the US, we're set up from the very beginning to be the one that has to leave and miss out on the early months that mums get to enjoy.
DW received generous maternity leave from her work, so we were very fortunate, but I received one week off, then I added some more days from my vacation allowance, then went back to work. So leaving isn't exactly an option, more a requirement. For the first three months, I think I was late to work most mornings because I wanted to play with LO, and I have only missed a handful of evening bedtimes in the full six-and-a-bit months so far.
The "upset" at leaving is, I think, harder for mums that see their baby so much during maternity leave and then have to go back to work than it is for the dads who never had that long leave and so have only really known their schedule.
tl;dr: the US should have paternity leave and mums should get more flexibility. And free candy and unicorns for everyone.
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I think its easier for dh to leave because he's used to it. He leaves every day, I'm a sahm so I'm with lo 24/7.
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I agree that I think it's easier for DH to be away bc he's used to it! But he misses her a ton!
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My husband has a pretty relaxed schedule so he's home with us a lot. I think that makes it harder for him to leave though. When he has to go he always says he wishes he could stay with us and has to kiss me, LO and the dog, haha. He's a big softie!
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@apis: My DH only got 3 days of paternity leave. DS was born on a Wednesday and DH was back to work on Monday. It sucked, for both of us.
It doesn't usually bother DH to leave him, but he's always eager to see him again.
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It doesn't bother him but he is always excited to see LO when he gets back.
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My son and husband are obsessed with each other, so they have a tough time leaving each other.
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my DH is soooo practical, very different from me, lol. I know his mindset that is when he leaves L, he knows he is safe with me and therefore there is nothing to get worked up about. Also, i guess for a lot of fathers, maybe they are not used to spending as much time with their babes as we are so it's not as "weird" to leave them. I feel uneasy leaving L and I miss him, maybe part of that is because i am with him 24/7 most of the time.
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