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I ask people I'm close to.
My BIL and SIL visited a while back and I asked when they were gonna start trying. Nosy Korean here!

I ask if we're close. And I never minded when my close friends asked me...it's the randoms asking that make me mad.

I very rarely ask but I think in that situation I would ask in a round about way. I also feel like if someone around my age/place in life asks me that they are open to a discussion about it whereas people who are much older or younger are probably just being nosey :).

I used to but now that we have been trying for a while I would never ask someone.

I just mention my own plans and they can reciprocate if they want!

I'm even afraid to assume that everyone wants kids. If I am talking to a friend who doesn't have children I always say "If or when you have kids" because I don't want to assume that everyone is going to make the same life choice that I have. I hope my friends don't find it offensive, I just know enough people who have chosen not to have children that I don't want to assume everyone does.

Given that she asked you when you were thinking of trying for LO #2 I would have asked her... but a very non specific question, like do you think you will have them one day? Do you think she could be struggling TTC and wants to talk about it with someone, maybe you, but doesn't know how to bring it up? I would try and give the impression that you are there for her to talk to if need be and see if she opens up.

I'm also guilty, but I only ask close friends and they seem more than happy to elaborate. I'm definitely more sensitive to it now though. I remember my single days (I'm one of the last to have a baby) I would ask like it's just another comment -- without thinking -- completely unaware that they maybe having issues! I can't believe I was so insensitive before!

I have asked close friends about when they are thinking about having #2 when I knew for sure they were planning to have #2. But it was more of a conversation like, "When would be your ideal time".

My brothers g/f and my BIL both asked me about when we were having a second right around when we had a m/c. It was pretty tough to not only have to lie but also come up with a good answer.

It doesn't bother me in the slightest when people ask me. I'm careful about asking others though. I ask close friends, and I don't want to seem flippant about it when I do.

since she asked you, I would have asked her too. I don't actually mind though when people ask me, though

I have been ttc for 18 months, had three failed IUIs and two failed IVF transfers. When someone asks me this question, I feel it is an invasion of privacy, painfully reminds me of my struggle, and is especially hurtful because it shows how blissfully unaware people are of the struggles of others. This journey has taught me that you can never assume you know what others are going through. If she wants to discuss it with you, she will. I have unfortunately had to open up to some friends before I was ready simply because I couldn't lie in the face of their probing questions. Since she asked you the question it is a bit tougher, although she may assume you have no issues since you have children (which would also be unfair). But as a general matter, I think this question is off limits.