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I find it interesting that so many left/are leaving the decision up to their DH. Would he leave the decision of piercing a girl's ears, or what age to allow makeup, up to you alone? Obviously those are far less serious decisions, but it seems odd to me that ANY parenting decision be made by only one parent.
I realize he has the same parts, but that to me is not reason enough to exclude the other parent from the decision making process.
We never leave any parenting decisions up to each other alone - we are co-parenting and therefore we make every decision together. This decision was no different. We originally disagreed, but after much research and discussion we came to a united decision.
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I was very against the idea of circumcision even before we found out we were having a boy. My husband, who is circ'd, is/was for it. In the end I deferred the decision to him and LO was circ'd. The experience was super traumatic for me and if we have any more sons they will not be. I can't go through that again.
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We still haven't decided! DH is circ'd. In fact, every man I've ever dated has been circ'd. So, I always just assumed that everyone did it. It really wasn't until Hellobee that I started to think twice about it. DH is also on the fence. I suppose we should make a decision soon!
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@Arden: We make decisions as a team; however, if one person doesn't have an opinion on the matter and the other person does, the person who is more invested in the issue gets to make the decision. For example, say my husband doesn't care whether we pierce our kid's ears -- and I am really adamant about not doing so -- we won't. It also depends on degrees: if my husband was only a little interested in piercing and I was extremely interested in not piercing, I would make the final call. Of course, there would be discussion before the final "vote," as it were, to see if we could get on the same page.
Similarly, since I didn't have a strong opinion either way about circumcision after reading arguments on both sides, I left the final call up to my husband.
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@mole: I understand that conclusion if one parent doesn't have an opinion or at least doesn't feel strongly either way, but so many here said they DIDN'T want to do it and did it anyway because DH wanted to.
That is what seems odd to me. If one parent isn't comfortable with a certain parenting decision, shouldn't that be something the parents work out together instead of just forfeiting entirely? It's so sad to me that some moms here still feel bad about circ'ing when they didn't want to in the first place.
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@MrsTiz: My brother is circ'd but my dad isn't. I do not know that from actually seeing them, just from a very inappropriate conversation with my mother that involved lots of wine.
If we were having a boy we would circumcise him, but we're having a girl!
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We had decided to do it before he was born. I wasn't opposed to it and DH wanted him circ'd. But after he was born, we both decided we just couldn't put him thru it. So nope, he's not circumcised.
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@mole: Agreed - I really don't have a strong opinion one way or the other - I would be fine with either choice - so I am fine with leaving it up to my DH as he feels more strongly about it than I do.
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We're having a boy and he will be circumcised. My husband is and so are his two sons so we'll continue on with that.
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@Arden: same reasons as you
DS is not
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My son is as is my husband. I was ok with both choices, so I let my husband decide because he felt strongly that we should. It seems to be the norm in the south and it seems the guys I knew who weren't circ were rather ashamed about it, at least in their teen years. My husband played football for 10 years and said almost noone wasn't circ.
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We have a girl, but agreed if she was a boy, no circ for us. DH is circ'd but we still chose not to.
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Is not. I left the decision up to DH because I had no opinion either way. Turns out it's a lot harder to do here than I thought? Doctors don't do it, as far as I can tell. So out of sheer laziness on both sides, he is not.
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My DS is circumsized. It was never an option in our eyes. DH is and we both felt strongly about having DS as well.
My mother works in the emergency medical field and cares of elderly men frequently. She has said on multiple occasions that uncircumsized penis' become harder to care for when men become very elderly and she has seen it become a very real hygene/health issue. Of course that is not every case, but I'll take her word for it.
I won't lie, my son being circumsized after birth was by far the hardest time I had in the hospital. NO mother wants to see her child in any sort of pain but I feel we did the right thing for him in the long run. I can definitely see both arguments though
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@mole: I agree with you and your reasons behind it. For this particular situation, I don't really have a strong opinion. DH does. So I'll let him 'win' this one.
It doesn't happen often! Lol!
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If we have a son, we likely will be, because juvenile diabetes runs in my family. The research I've done says that it often needs to be done in children with diabetes, and the recovery is much harder when they are older. So, I think it would make sense as a precaution.
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@mole: same goes for us.
DS is circumsized.
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We are having a girl, but if we have a boy in the future, we will not circ. I don't find it objectionable if other people do, but I have no religious or other basis to have an elective procedure done on my newborn. Plus, FI is not, and he feels strongly about not doing so for any sons.
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@LovelyPlum: I had no idea about the complication and connection with diabetes!
@Penny Lane: I think it can only be done through the public health system if it is a medical necessity? I don't think I know anybody with a son who has been circ'ed
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If we have a boy we will not circumcise him. I think it is becoming more common and won't be so shocking for his future sexual partners, which was my husbands only concern. I think as long as we teach him to keep himself clean it will be a non issue.
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DS is not, DH is. It took a while for me to convince DH that it isn't something I wanted to do to our newborn, but he's fine with it now. I also won't pierce any future daughters ears until they are teenagers.
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@MrsTiz: dh is, but ds isn't..
we always assumed that we would get ds circumcised when he was born, but when we inquired about it at the ob's and also at the hospital, everyone (EVERYONE!) told us it is typically not done anymore, and that if we wanted to do it, there was only one or two doctors in vancouver (in our city region of 2 million people!) who circumcise, and that it would cost around 200$. we had no idea, as men in our generation typically were circumcised. we asked around with our friends and apparantly none of their ds's were circumcized either! so interesting, huh!! i totally learned something new....
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@Arden: I totally agree with this. I wouldn't leave any major decision solely up to dh, nor would I want to be solely responsible for making the decision.
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@tysonja: how weird! I bet 98% of people here are circumcised. I don't know anyone who isnt or isnt getting their son snipped!
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@MrsTiz: i know!! i totally thought that was the case, here, too! i guess things changed here over the last few decades as we grew up? no idea!!!
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I left it up to DH because I don't have that body part so I feel like I don't have the kind of experience needed to make the decision. We did talk about it and DH felt strongly about getting him circumcised so we did it.
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DH isn't and it seems like the foreskin serves a good function both sexually (not much need for lube) and preventing dryness of the head so we will not be circumcising.
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Yep, DS is. So is DH. It was I portent to both of us for it to be done, the procedure was super simple and DS didn't cry or was never unsettled afterwards. We are done having kids, but of we did have another boy, we would circumcise again.
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S is not circumcised. DH is.
I researched the crap out of it (even though we were team green), and looked into things like infection rates, later in life circumcision rates, sexual satisfaction surveys, and body image studies of men. None of my research gave me any compelling reasons to consider circumcising, and my DH was not comfortable making the decision to slice pieces off of our baby, given what I found.
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I was against it because I didn't see the NEED for it, but the hubby is and he wants DS to be the same as him so as of right now, I think we will.
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@MrsTiz: I thought the same thing. Canada wide the circumcision rates are below 15% (if memory serves) right now. I was shocked. I just assumed everyone did it until I started researching it.
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if we have sons, we will not be having them circ'ed. DH is, but wishes he had not been. we do not believe it is our place to physically alter our children in a permanent way unless there is a very good reason for it & we do not see a very good reason for us to do it.
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@prettylizy @tysonja: I was surprised by this too. There was a recent Globe and Mail article about it, actually and the doctor who wrote it was from the next town over from me. He said that it varies widely by region, even within the same province. In his town, it is the norm and routine. 2 hours down the road, it is rarely done and you have to search to find a doctor to do it.
We don't have a decision made yet (we're team green) but I will probably ask around to my friends, doctors etc and see what the norm is since DH and I don't have strong feelings either way.
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Nope our LO isn't. After researching we doing no compelling reasons to do it. Our pedi said if she were having boys now she wouldn't either, when she had he sons it was just expected and done without question.
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Yes, I left it up to DH and he said he wanted it done. They did it the morning after he was born. And we haven't had any issues.
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My husband and I have discussed this and agreed to circumcise if we ever have to make that decision. He's cut and he never experienced any issues so we'd like for any hypothetical sons that we have to follow suit.
It doesn't happen often! Lol!
we always assumed that we would get ds circumcised when he was born, but when we inquired about it at the ob's and also at the hospital, everyone (EVERYONE!) told us it is typically not done anymore, and that if we wanted to do it, there was only one or two doctors in vancouver (in our city region of 2 million people!) who circumcise, and that it would cost around 200$. we had no idea, as men in our generation typically were circumcised. we asked around with our friends and apparantly none of their ds's were circumcized either! so interesting, huh!! i totally learned something new....
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