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@jaguar: Oh my gosh, I'd be a total wreck right now. Fingers, toes, everything crossed that this LO hangs on!
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@jaguar: NOOOOO I just logged on hoping to see good news. But 50/50 is still something. Wishing you lots of love and strength mama! Hold your sweet girls tight today.
@yellowbeach: Transfer day today, right? Thinking good sticky thoughts for you!
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Our one and only normal embryo is in! First time one has been hatching. Hoping that will bring good luck!
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@yellowbeach: fantastic! I always love seeing the pics of the embryos, and in my purely nonprofessional opinion, it is adorable:)
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@jaguar: ugh, I wish I had better words, but just ugh. Fingers crossed for you that the sch resolve and you don’t go crazy with worry over the bleeding
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@yellowbeach: Oh my heart, this looks like a PERFECT emby!!!!
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@jaguar: Man I am sure hoping so. I want to go on record and say I think it's a
boy ... not sure why, just do. When I was pregnant with 
DD , I had no idea one way or the other for 9.5 weeks and then one morning I woke up and just knew.
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@yellowbeach: Now to keep everything crossed. Come on little one!
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@yellowbeach: Hatching feels like a good sign!!
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@jaguar: Just wanted to say I've been thinking of you all morning! Can't imagine your excruciating wait for that next beta.
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Doesn't look good, guys. Rose but nowhere NOWHERE near what they wanted. 9099 to 11600. Far out
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@jaguar: and that was 48 hrs?
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@yellowbeach: Yep. Rang my OB in tears and he got me in... and the baby was there with a heartbeat measuring at 6 weeks exactly. He says not to put much faith in betas, but to focus on growth and heartbeats.. I am feeling pretty anxious!
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@jaguar: yay for a heartbeat! I’ve definitely heard that once there is a heartbeat you don’t think about betas
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@jaguar: oh wow - yeah for the OB that clearly has a heart and understands how terrible this limbo is - and of course hurray for a heartbeat!!!
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@jaguar: That's fantastic news! And so glad you have such a lovely, understanding OB. Heartbeat>>>>>>>betas. Wahoo!
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Let's hope so! I'm an anxious wreck, one day at a time
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Finally cd1! I go in tomorrow for my first scan and start the shots!
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@LAZB: Yay! super exciting to start. Endless shots...not so much. You know you're an IVFer when you get excited to start aaaallll the shots, blood draws, TV ultrasounds etc. Fun fun fun!
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@LAZB: Ahh! I remember it feeling so crazy to get to this point. It was hard (still is, kind of!) to wrap my head around the fact that this was where we were at in this journey. So surreal. I hope the scan goes well and shots are easy!
@jaguar: @yellowbeach: How are you both hanging in there?
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@foodiebee: doing all I can not to test too early. I’m 4dp5dt.
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@yellowbeach: did you give in this morning?
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@LAZB: Huzzah for getting started!
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6w3d and back to more red heavy bleeding today. Everything shut here today so just have to wait it out til tomorrow's OB visit.
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@jaguar: sorry, I know that’s unsettling
AFM, my suppression check went well I guess. The doc (different than my usually doc) only saw 4 follicles, and normally they tell me there are 6-7, so that was worrisome. They said no cysts and my blood work was good, so moving forward. . And I handed over the $20k, so I guess we are in it regardless. I start shots in the morning, and am already feeling emotional, so this could be a heck of a month.
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@LAZB: yeah - negative
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@yellowbeach: grrrrrr
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@LAZB: Hang in there. The ride is so bloody emotional!
@yellowbeach: Bring on the next few days and hopefully some nice squinters!
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Negative at 7dp5dt... not even a hint of a squinter.
Talked with DH today about what to do next. He's afraid to try naturally because he says another TFMR would "break us." He's probably right. It doesn't sound like he's done yet either, but said he hates seeing me go through all the IFV shots and such.
I feel we aren't done - and in a year or two when DD says she wants a baby brother/sister, I want to know we tried everything we could. God that moment is going to hurt.
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@yellowbeach: I'm so, so sorry. Truly. I hate reading this update. The only thing I can think to suggest is that a bit of space from TTC, no matter how brief, might help you and your husband find some clarity on your path forward, no matter what it may be. These emotions are brutal.
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@jaguar: Thinking of you and hoping for a good update!
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@yellowbeach: totally agree with what foodiebee said. This is so so rough and emotional. Take a break and then with a clearer head figure out your next steps. Any thoughts on finding a different RI specialist to help out? Thinking good thoughts for a missed positive!
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@yellowbeach: I’m so sorry, it’s so emotional and I totally get your pain.
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Question for y’all, do you remember what day your retrieval happened? I know it varies, but is it generally before cd14?
Of course my parents (who are supposed to watch our kids for my retrieval) are leaving when I’ll be cd15, so I’m hoping retrieval will be before that -
@Mrs. Pajamas @FoodieBee: The problem with waiting a few cycles is that if I wait to long, I'm just older, but more importantly I've said we won't TTC from Aug-Nov because I need to focus on and pass my board exams. If we don't proceed now, it might not be until Dec, and then I'm just that much older
Reading back as I type I sound like that crazy lady who just can't take no for an answer, well in this case BFN.
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@yellowbeach: does your clinic offer an embryo adoption program amongst existing clients?
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@LAZB: I want to say mine happened around CD14-16? Of course it depends on how fast your follicles develop and how many they're willing to "sacrifice" to let the others grow. Before CD14 sounds a tad early to me, but again, depends on how you're looking leading up to it. Your u/s should start to give you an idea soon, I'd guess.
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@foodiebee: that’s what I’m scared of
I’m only cd5, but did blood work work this morning, so we will see what that says
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@LAZB: my last two retrievals have both been on Cd15.
AFM, heading in now to get my beta a day early. RE understands my desire to end the wait.
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@yellowbeach: not crazy at all. The impatience I felt through the years of IVF was astronomical and was the biggest source of stress. I totally get it. I just want to make sure you take care of your mental health. Maybe proceed with another retrieval but hold off on transfer until after your boards? Have you and DH talked about other means like adoption--embryo or otherwise?
Hopefully this is not creepy but something that is weighing on my mind so much lately in general... I have 4 PGD-normal embryos frozen in MD that I need to put up for adoption. It's my husband's project and of course, he is dragging his feet to find an agency or clinic to manage the adoption.
boy 
DD 
I’m only cd5, but did blood work work this morning, so we will see what that says
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