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@kentuckygirl: hi future kentuckybabies! Nice pic
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@kentuckygirl: Beautiful embryos! Congrats on your transfer. I hope you're having a nice and relaxing weekend!
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@Shutterbug: @twodoghouse: Thanks ladies!!!
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@kentuckygirl: Congratulations on a successful transfer! Hope you're feeling good. Sending lots of positivity your way!
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@sweetooth: thanks!!! I am feeling normal/good. Just waiting!
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Hello all! I miss you! My 2ww is going ok, just trying not to think about it. I did do a test today to be sure the trigger is gone, and it is. I'll probably POAS in 5-7 days because I don't want to wait for my beta which isn't until 9/27- that is 16 days after ER! Seems so long! Any POASers regret it? I just want to prepare myself for the results and also can't wait that long!
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@kentuckygirl Rooting for you, girlfriend. Hoping this is your time, and that waiting isn't too terrible!
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@kentuckygirl: I did not POAS for the last two (the first successful, the second not). I am not that patient this time around. I plan to start testing as soon as I'm off bed rest and probably every other day.
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@tarabonno: Thanks!
@brownie: glad to have a co-conspirator in POASing!
Question for all- I was not given any restrictions other than "take it easy for a day" after ET. Just read something on another board about not taking baths & I am a little panicked! Did your RE say no baths? If it is a no-no, it's probably already too late for me
I have been careful to ensure that mine have been just warm water, rather than hot water. I always take baths, at this point should I switch to using the shower?
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@kentuckygirl: I tested and I'm so glad that I did. It helped me not lose it when I got the phone call saying my beta was negative. My RE didn't say anything about baths. She told me to take it easy for a few days and sit with my feet up.
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@Leialou: I hate that you had to experience that call, but that is another reason why I do think I will test. How are you doing? I've been thinking about you!
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@kentuckygirl: I'm doing ok, thanks for asking.
My follow up appointment is in the morning.
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@kentuckygirl: sending lots of positive vibes you get a BFP. I would absolutely test out the trigger and then POAS before betas just because I couldn't imagine waiting that long...I'm way to impatient for my own good (hence following this thread and reading any IVF related materials I can find even thought IVF is at least 18 months away for us). Hope you're feeling well and trying not to stress too, too much.
@Leialou: hope you get some answers tomorrow at your follow up. Are you thinking you'll do a FET soon or take a little break first?
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@kentuckygirl: I think i read it somewhere about staying away from hot tubs, would that be where the theory of no baths have come from?
My doctor never really said anything besides to take a 48 bed rest and to go easy afterwards. I always take showers for the most part (to be honest, I don't have time to run a bath and then chill in it-showers are more my thing)
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@kentuckygirl: My RE's office did say no baths. I think it's because hypothetically a really hot bath (or hot tub) could raise your internal temp? At least I think that's the worry. If your baths are just warm water, I can't imagine that would raise your internal temperature. Try not to worry about it, but if it would make you feel better, maybe you could check with a nurse at your office?
As far as testing goes, I decided to test the day before my first beta because I wanted to be prepared either way for whatever the news was. I didn't want to be caught off guard with good or bad news at work. So I'm very glad that I tested a little early.
@brownie: How are you feeling? Is everything still on track for your transfer on Friday?
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@twodoghouse: everything is still set for Friday. I can't believe it is only 2 days away. I am sooooo behind on work because of this (and my son being constently sick). But I have 40 hours to catch up this weekend.
I was told yesterday that my skin looked great and asked if I was pregnant. Uh nope. But it gives me hope that this time my body wants to be.
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Hi girls! I've been a bit reluctant to post, but I figured I'd at least out myself as a lurker. It feels less creepy that way
I know some of you have seen my other thread. Long story short, I am able to get pregnant, but have had 2 miscarriages in a row. We had testing done and found that I have a balanced translocation on two of my chromosomes (18 and 20) which explains the miscarriages and brings to light that the likelihood of carrying to term or having a healthy baby naturally is slim. Even if I do carry to term, the likelihood of my baby living to their 1 year is 10%. The genetic counselor is recommending IVF with PGD, so I'm in the very early stages of research and soul-search.
I'm torn. I know that if DH and I try this month or next, I could get pregnant. But the odds that its a healthy, viable pregnancy are low. I asked the GC if we should try again on our own and she kind of gave me a look of pity, shrugged, and said we could if we wanted to...so I'm taking that as not a good sign. But I keep thinking "I do make SOME good eggs...not a lot...but some...what if we try one more time and its a GOOD egg?" There's a small chance it could work but I don't know if I can handle another miscarriage, which is more likely.I know that my situation is different than most (if not all) of yours. We are experiencing a different kind of heartbreak, but heartbreak none the less. Since I don't feel I fit in with the regular TTC/POAS'ers, and there aren't a lot of others like me to start my own thread, I hope you'll let me tag along with you to ask IVF questions, share my feelings, cheer you on and bask in your triumphs!
I'll probably be a little quiet at first, just reading about your experiences and trying to sort things out in my head. -
@SweetiePie: First, i am so sorry for your losses. This group had given me so much support & a lot of great info! Welcome, although I wish none of us had to be 'here'. I don't have experience with your specific situation, other than having done IVF, but I hope that you find some comfort among our group. Feel free to "speak up" when you are ready to talk more or have questions. Hugs!
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@kentuckygirl: Thanks so much!
Good luck getting through the TWW! Fingered crossed for you! -
@SweetiePie: awww honey.....*hugs* Everyone does have a different journey in life. Thanks for sharing your grief, we love you.
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@SweetiePie: We all get here through different ways. It doesn't make the experience any more difficult.
As for PGD, when we discussed it with our specialist, it can take a while for the test to be created. We decided against it at the time. If we try again we may do it.
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@SweetiePie: welcome! I'm kind of lurking along here as well for similar reasons as you. DH & I are both carries for beta thalessemia and it was recommended we persue IVF with PGD. I've learned a lot so far from lurking here, and cheering these lovely ladies on.
I'm so sorry for your losses. If you're interested I can share a book with you that explains the whole IVF process and goes into a lot of detail about all the genetic testing options that exist now. We are at least 18 months from starting the process but I found the book helpful to gain understanding of what and why certain things will be happening to my body.
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@SweetiePie: Welcome! There is a lot of support here and it has helped me out a lot. All of us seem to have different reasons of why we are here, but we all have the battle of IVF in common. I am in the middle of my first round of IVF. I had my egg retrieval last month and then DH and I decided to do genetic testing on our embryos. There are a few genetic testing options. My RE does Comprehensive Chromosomal Screening (CCS) which test all 23 chromosomes. If you have any questions about this, I will be happy to answer them. Since we did the testing, our embryos had to be frozen and we will do a FET with my next cycle.
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@Apex: @brownie: @PointeShoesTutus: Thanks for the welcomes! Wish that none of us were here, but its nice to know there's a support system in place
@brownie: Interesting, can you explain what you mean about it being a while for the test to be created? Or if you've found a useful source of info can you post the link here? All that I've really found is info on the process itself and the risks.
@PointeShoesTutus: That would be great! What is the name of the book? We're getting on a 13 hour flight on Saturday so I need some reading material
I think we're leaning towards IVF asap. I just can't shake the pesky thought "what if we tried ONCE more and got lucky?". I know its probably a fruitless effort, but its just HARD to realize that I can't do it on my own. I feel so helpless and I hate feeling out of control. We can't just BD like before. If this was magically fixed in me, I would never EVER again complain about temping, charting, OPKs, BD days, etc. That is just nothing compared to the thought and worry that goes into IVF, and now the PGD aspect of it.
Like, the 1 or 2 embryos alone is stressing me out! How do I even make that decision when the time comes??? I also have hip issues and at first I thought that multiples was out of the question. But now my orthopedic surgeon says we SHOULD try for twins now because my hips will just get progressively worse - so 2 now at the same time is better than 1 now and 1 later. Holy cow, just so much to consider.
I still just feel stunned that I'm in this place. It just doesn't feel real. Its sinking in more and more that this isn't just one "option" if we want to have our own baby that I carry - its really our only option.
And I thought that having 2 miscarriages made me feel alienated. But there are so many women I know in real life that had them. IVF? Nope. I might know one, but I don't even know how to approach the subject of it with her because she never told me directly.Anyway, thanks for listening and any info/advice would be helpful. I'm sorry if I ask things that have already been asked/discussed. I'm going to try to go back and read the entire thread from the beginning this weekend while we're at the airport.
ETA: Jeeze, my posts are long!
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@SweetiePie: The book is "In Vitro Fertilization: The A.R.T. (Assistive Reproductive Technology) of Making Babies" by Dr. Geoffrey Sher.
I sort of understand the whole "maybe this time we will get lucky" mentality. DH & I have a 75% chance of having a non Beta-Thal Major child but (and this sounds horribly pessimistic) neither us of have had good "luck" when it comes to health related issues and we are not emotionally equipped to handle the life that comes with raising a Beta-Thal Major child. I've been told by a few people that know our situation that we should just take our chances since the odds are in our favor. Yeah they are, but it's easy to tell someone to take a chance when you aren't the one who will deal with the fall out if the odds don't go your way.(I also have a habit of making too long of posts too.
)
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@SweetiePie: The place that I go to, it sounded like they worked with a company to create the pipette to test the embryos. I don't know if that is only for specialty tests (my husband's specific mutations) or all tests. I am not sure how that will affect your situation. We weren't ready to wait that long.
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@SweetiePie: I know I owe you a wall post, but I'm slammed with travel and work. I haven't forgotten about you!
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@Mrs. Jacks: Oh my gosh, don't even worry about it! You don't owe me anything, I know you have a real life and a real job
@PointeShoesTutus: Thanks for the book info! I'm going to see if I can get it on my Kindle tonight and if not I'll run to Barnes & Noble. I want to absorb as much info as I can right now.
It sounds like our odds are opposite. I'm rounding, but based on what we've read, what the GC said, and some calculations done by my brother-in-law (who has a background in genetics, though not specific to our issue) its looking more like 25% good, 75% bad (as in outcomes). I could be wrong since the GC wasn't willing to give explicit odds, but she did so in a round-about kind of way. Where you and I differ is that while 25% seems like low odds, it means having a special needs child which is heartbreaking to think about, and a lifelong commitment that also affects your child. Our 75% odds are for miscarriage OR a child born with a very short lifespan. Something like only 10% of babies with our chromosomal abnormalities actually make it to term (i.e. 90% miscarry). Of the 10% that are born, only 10% make it to the first year. The ones that make it past the first year still don't live very long and have a lot of disabilities, heart defects, etc. I may be misquoting since I've read so many different statistics over the last week, but I'm pretty sure that's right.
So, to summarize, we have very different decisions but still tough ones. You have "good" odds but the lifelong impact is huge and would affect your child immensely. We have "bad" odds, but the likelihood that it is lifelong or results in a child that has to live with a disability/illness is very low. It mostly affects DH & I emotionally (going through miscarriage, most likely).I dont know if I'm saying this clearly. Gahhh, my mind is boggled.
And furthermore, IVF w/PGD isn't even a guarantee! PGD isn't 100% accurate, so they would still want to do CSV testing which is so scary (for many reasons). AND PGD can damage the embryos they test. I know its a low likelihood, but still.
I mean, nothing is easy! There simply is no cut and dry answer, its boggling my mind.@brownie: That is interesting! We haven't even gotten that far yet, as to find out about the PGD process from an actual fertility specialist. But now I definitely know to ask about it, so thank you!
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@SweetiePie: we did Cvs and it wasn't scary
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@Mrs. Jacks: Well, I am scared for a few reasons. First, of course because there's always a risk. Its small, but still. But I guess everything in life has some amount of risk, right?
Secondly, I don't want to have a decision to make if they find something wrong. If the PGD was wrong and we do have a baby with T18, for example, of course its likely that I'll miscarry on my own. But I'm afraid that DH would urge me to end the pregnancy just in case it is in the 10% that makes it to birth and I just don't know if I can do that. I can't imagine it. -
@SweetiePie: you're probably sick of this non-IVF girl commenting on your posts, but I think about you all the time.
This is me thinking out loud, but are there RE's who specialize in PGD, etc, more than your standard RE? Did the GC have any suggestions as for who you should see? I haven't the foggiest as to how this works, but I wonder if, since you know that you have the testing issue from the get-go, if you might be able to find a clinic near you that is particularly experienced in this area. Or maybe they all are, who knows.
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@SweetiePie: I know that is scary... But having taken care of T18 survivors, I would neer wish that on my child. It is the only case where making such a decision would be clear cut to me. I understand that wouldn't be the case for everyone, though.
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@Mrs. Jacks: Oh, I believe you! I have done some reading on it and the thought of having a child with T18 is just so sad. Its hard on the parents, its hard on the child...its just hard. I definitely would not want to bring a child into the world with T18 - so its not really a "is it worth it" kind of thing for me. Its more of just pulling the trigger and actually doing it. I just don't want to have to make that decision, and what drives me crazy is that I know I might have to. It just makes me sick to think about.
@LovelyPlum: I could never get sick of you
So, the GC I went to was at St. Lukes-Roosevelt (SLR) here in NY. Before I even met with a GC, I had 2 friends that I know of that went to an RE at SLR. I believe he's the head of the RE department. The GC also recommended him, so I'm thinking (hoping?) that 2 personal and 1 professional recommendation is a good sign. And she said that they have specialists in the department for PGD (RE's and GC's).
So I think that its at least a place to start. But I have also started asking some Dr. friends if they know of any RE's.
I still have so much research to do. Hoping the next week of vacation allows for lots of reading and soul searching...and maybe some relaxing, too -
@SweetiePie: yes, relax. And sleep. And be with DH. And soul search. But I tend to be of the opinion that I do my best soul searching when the distractions and the noise of everyday life aren't around, so maybe it will be easier for you to do there. Where are you headed? Anywhere fun?
ETA: 3 recs is a pretty good start, I'd say. But I am always a wreck when I have to pick a doc, so asking around doesn't seem like such a bad idea, either.
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@SweetiePie: I hear you about the odds. Doctors are so unwilling to give you hard numbers. I work in a semi-medical related field so I understand why they don't but as the patient it is frustrating sometimes. The GC we saw only gave us those odds because the beta thal genes are classic dominant/recessive and that's how it comes out on a chai-square (I think that's what it's called-high school biology was a long time ago).
I hear you on the risks of CVS and amnios and that PGD isn't 100%. It's all very scary. Involving so many other people in the baby making process is certainly never in my wildest dreams thought would occur. I even brushed aside my specialist suggestions that I start thinking about IVF while I was recovering from cancer and then again when I got super sick with Crohn's. I guess I wasn't ready to go there yet. It wasn't until I met DH and we figured out we both are carriers for beta-thal that it really drove the point home that if I wanted biological children, I was going to need medical intervention. It's mind boggling.
Hope you have a good trip this weekend! That book I told you about is pretty dry reading with lots of science jargon but I found it pretty helpful. Best of luck on your journey!
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@SweetiePie: Hi. I just wanted to say that you might want to look at the difference between PGD at the 5 day v. 3 day embryo stage. My clinic (RMA-NY) now only does 5 day PGD since the risks to 3 day embryos are greater. The only catch is that a lot of embryos don't make it to 5 days. Supposedly, those that die between 3 days and 5 days would have anyway in the womb, but you should have plenty to work with since you don't have underlying infertility problems. Sounds like you are making a lot of progress on the knowledge front! I am impressed with how you are digesting all of this.
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@brownie: Thinking of you today. Hope your FET goes well!
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@brownie: Good luck today!!!
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@twodoghouse: @justdarling: thanks. We just started our drive down. Our son got dropped off my a friend at his school. So far so good.
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@brownie: good luck today!
I have been careful to ensure that mine have been just warm water, rather than hot water. I always take baths, at this point should I switch to using the shower?
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