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Giving up too easily on breastfeeding (though I think I am overly sensitive on this one because I regret it myself)
Working
Feeding LO organic foods (my in-laws think this is the silliest thing they've ever heard)
Using a pacifier -
I don't really know. People haven't said too much to me. Or maybe they have and I didn't give a hoot!
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@Mrs Checkers: Really?!? Working?!?!
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@Navy_Mommy: I AM aware, thanks. It's an opinion. I don't think someone is stupid or ignorant for thinking it's gross, because it's how they feel. I think the benefits of things are debatable and people are free to think how they want to. Some people think BFing a toddler is gross, some thing CIO is inhumane and cruel, some think someone feeding a baby solids before a year is irresponsible and dooming a child to obesity... it's the same thing to me. It's an opinion.
And please, me not being able to breastfeed has NOTHING TO DO WITH IT. You don't know me, so back off, for real. You have no idea what you're talking about.
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Being too strict with discipline, I think.
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cosleeping (when we use to before he grew out of it) formula perhaps (although a lot of people use it!) and cloth diapers (bc they are "Gross")
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@Navy_Mommy: totally NOT judging, just curious what your reason is for not ever planning to give cow milk?
Funny that people seem to report being judged for 2 ends of every spectrum (babywearing versus not, bottle versus breast feeding, etc)
I know I have been judged (by people in my family anyway) for doing BLW (my sister told me the other day that how I feed my baby is "wrong"). Also, i've been judged for "spoiling" him because I wear him a lot and cater to his every cry. I am sure I will get judged by the same people if i end up BF over a year. Not sure what else, but I am sure there have been others and I just don't know about it!
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@Mrs. Cowgirl: I would love a blog post on this as we (and many other similar aged moms!) are entering the clingy/tantrum age.
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@PurpleUnicorn: I don't drink it and I don't think it's a necessary part of my son's diet as long as he has a well rounded diet beyond that. I have some friends who are actually against it (because pasteurization kills a lot of the nutrients and there are a lot of "hidden" artificial sweeteners in milk now) but I just don't think it's necessary. (For instance, this article popped up on my news feed yesterday... http://www.trueactivist.com/harvard-scientists-urge-you-to-stop-drinking-milk/ )
ETA - I drink almond milk and he has had that a few times. I just don't like cows milk, I feel like it leaves a film in my mouth. Lol
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I've never been made to feel judged but I'm sure people on here or in real life might quietly judge me for my breastfeeding choices - which is that I fully plan to move to FF (or maybe EPing if it isn't a massive PITA) around 3 months - providing I'm lucky enough to make BF work in the first place, of course - and intend to supplement from day 1 so my hubby can feed too.
I don't mind being judged though. You gotta do what's right for you and what sits right with you.
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@Navy_Mommy: we give low temp pasteurized non homogenized cow's milk from a local dairy farm for this reason. But I love milk and LO does not like cheese much so her calcium intake comes mainly from milk and yogurt.
FYI there has been founding that some almond milk contain carcinogen! So check!
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I've been lucky. I don't think I've gotten much judgment. Some friends used to comment on the fact that we were unwilling to leave LO with our live in help for a few hours. My LO was a terrible sleeper at the time and I didn't know how to instruct our helper to get him to sleep because I had no clue myself.
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My daughter had the most terrible stranger anxiety when she was under 2 (even her grandparents freaked her out!), so we were always very protective when people came visit. They probably thought we were overprotective?
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Oh! I forgot, I got judged out loud to my face about using donated breast milk. By more than one person.
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@Mrs. Cowgirl: No such thing! Hahaha.
But seriously, I agree that some of your tips could be helpful.
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@Mrs. Polish: I think would be a great blog topic as well. Many of us are ill informed about the rules and regulations about donating milk! Or from your end the choice/reasoning behind using donated milk.
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-having to hold LO for naps so she gets a decent amount of sleep
-early bedtime (mom says I need to be flexible)
-were planning on rear facing for as long as is possible, so I'm sure well get flack for that -
Its so crazy reading all of these and seeing the same topics but on different sides. I think we as moms feel pressure and jusdged no matter what we do. Sad but true.
For me I know I got some looks about how crazy it was I went back to work at 7 weeks. I had to. My DHis deployed and I have a few cats, and dogs, and even chickens
because I am into animal Rescue. People acted or questioned if I would keep them all once LO arrived. Excuse me WHAT? Ummm YES!!!
I have a small car, people asked what I was going to do with it when LO arrived....ummm....drive it!!!
Im crazy busy juggling everything on my own and one friend was basically telling me I should quit BF. Save time and energy because she knows I am struggling to JUST get enough each day for her while at daycare. Wow thanks for the support!
Wanting to rear face until two I was told is "extreme".
Also that I am paranoid and being redic to buy the Angel care monitor, like thats really going to happen that they "have four kids and have never had a problem and I just need to relax".
Blah! -
@regberadaisy: Check it out
http://www.hellobee.com/2013/03/06/adopted-and-breastfed/
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I'm not really judged IRL. I do feel a bit embarrassed when i say that i still nurse LO (though i shouldn't be) at 15 months. It's not for health benefits, but she just needs it and i don't feel like i can take it from her until she's ready to stop.
I think some people made their, "oh, FTM" comments when i was inflexible with her sleep schedule, but i just shut them out because this is what works for our family, thank you very much.
@Mrs. Cowgirl: Same here. People don't realize that i have to make my voice REALLY stern in order for LO to know i mean business (otherwise she just laughs at me). A friend once said, "Sorry your mommy and daddy are so mean." It was in jest, but it bugged me a little bit.
@zippylef: Not all opinions are informed, so i don't think it's harsh to say that it's due to ignorance. But that's just my opinion.
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Don't know; don't care!!!
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@zippylef: "I hate when people's distaste for something is chalked up to them simply being an idiot/uninformed/etc. I think some things are weird and would never do them because I don't agree with them. Plain as that."
I'm with you on this. I think especially in online communities people often chalk up disagreeing to ignorance. I don't know where that became okay.
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Cloth diapers, rear facing car seat, feeding her healthy food, being a single mom, being over protective
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Just in case someone reads this thread an freaks out that there are carcinogens in almond milk (from reading @regberadaisy 's response)... Do your own research... Perhaps it's a reference to carrageenan, not sure, but in case it is... I've found that it is debatable whether or not it is even a carcinogen. It is also found in other food products, not only almond milk... So of course, check labels. I've seen it in ice cream and other dairy products. Not every brand single brand of almond milk uses it either.
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@SAHM0811: I did say "some" and asked her to check.
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@mediagirl: hahaha I gave LO Chick-fil-a too..
I think I'm most judged on working... Some people think I should not work, other people think I'm not working hard enough. you can't win.
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@regberadaisy: yes, I read that. No need to defend your post! Just wanted to give people more info...
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@Freckles: totally!! being firm and strict is what works best with my really-needs-boundaries kiddo!
@regberadaisy: @meredithNYC: i'll work on a post if you promise not to judge!
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@SAHM0811: just didn't want people misinterpreting my post as making a blanket statement that ALL almond milk contains carrageenan. And thanks for the proper term; darn autocorrect!
and I personally avoid it!@Mrs. Cowgirl: pinky promise!
I respect your parenting style and am very interested to see how you tackle this.
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@TurtleDoves: haha, as it should be! love this
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@Mrs. Cowgirl: Definitely! People always look at me weird when I say I want to send our daughter to Catholic pre-school taught by nuns, but I am all about discipline. I need it for my sanity
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we definitely got judged for doing BLW(well a combo puree/BLW) because "he could choke, he has no teeth, etc" that's about it IRL. i'm sure on here i'd get judge for the foods he eats(we don't eat organic, we give him IN MODERATION fried foods), let him watch tv, not BFing
oh, the biggest thing i get judged about....getting pregnant 6 months pp!
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@Mrs. High Heels: Yeah. One of these days I'll have to tell you what someone we both know said...
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Being a young parent.
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@Mrs. Cowgirl: I'm looking forward to reading your blog post too! DH and I are strict but honestly, he behaves best on the playground - I can tell that being strict has paid off sometimes. Don't get me wrong, we are loving too!
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@Mrs. Polish: Wow that's really sad about being judged when you're with your son. Whenever I see a couple with a child I'm pretty sure is adopted I always feel happy for them that they got to have a family (as I tend to assume it's due to IF - but maybe that's judgey too??)
LO isn't here yet, but I know I'll get judged about cloth diapering (I tend to not even tell people now if I don't need to). And I assume I'll get some judgement about formula feeding. I only intend to BF for a few months, I don't intend to pump very long, and if I can't push through BFing at first I plan to give up and not feel guilty. My mom's made some judgey pro BF comments and I already told her she needs to keep her opinions to herself if I feel like I have to give up on BFing.
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@Navy_Mommy: I hate cow's milk too and never drink it. For the past 2 weeks we've been battling LO to drink it and she flat out refuses and I'm ready to just skip it too. I do have Almond Milk (Vanilla) in my smoothie, and she will tolerate a little of that, but really doesn't like it. I'll check out that link you posted, thanks!
The only time I've ever felt judged was at my LO's 1st birthday when I gave her a whole strawberry and another mother almost had a stroke! She couldn't believe that I gave LO strawberries before 1 years old, and doubly couldn't believe that I gave her a whole one. LO loves them, and handles food well (really has never, ever choked). I never thought about it!
We still co-sleep at 13 months and are "adventurous" with food for LO (what we give her)
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I was definitely judged for this today at the zoo.
Another mom scolded her son for doing the same thing and called it dirty- I don't care
I was too busy laughing and trying not to pee myself. Just like @turtledoves, I really don't care how others perceive me, I do my best and figure that everyone else is too.
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Well, for nursing my toddler uncovered, in public, certainly. But I've also wondered if people think me uncaring. My parents made a huge deal out of every bump and bruise, and I grew up to really lack confidence physically. So with my daughter, we make sure that when she falls over, or hits her head (or anything short of an actual injury that needs attention), we don't physically react. We make sure that she knows that we're closer by, and that we've got all the love and comfort if she wants it. But that's it. And 90% of the time, she makes a face, cries for a second, and then picks herself up and goes right back to business. She looks to us to see how to react, and we just don't - and usually she doesn't either. She's the toughest toddler I know.
I've wondered if people don't misinterpret that as a lack of concern. I've certainly seen her trip, and in the process of picking herself back up, some parent comes over and wants to fawn all over her. She usually just brushes them off - I think it bugs her.
@Mrs. Polish: What???!? That is horrible, just awful. Feeding donated breastmilk is awesome - donating mine made me feel so awesome. I'd love to see a post about your experiences and the way people reacted.
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@lemondrop: LOL! my dd "tastes" everything too. we haven't really been anywhere that she could get down in public (she hates grass) but I'm sure she'd do the same. she licked the carpet, the dog's foot, DH's leg, and his shorts all in 5 minutes today.
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