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I would absolutely want the older one in a preschool setting before kindergarten and around peers his same age. I don’t know the ages if the other kids at the daycare, but the older your son gets the more he will be bored and not challenged with babies etc all day.

I think the benefit of a preschool setting is that they help establish the routines that are expected during Kindergarten.

Some daycares do this very well, others not so much and I think regardless of academics, it's important to remember that kindergarten now is more vigorous and kids are expected to follow routines from day 1.

I would put L in preschool. And I'm speaking as the ghost of the future (my kids are the same years apart) - T could not be with DD. He is hyper focused when other kids are around about "protecting her" and I feel like it would be a distraction. I also think T would not handle well sharing MORE of his life with DD. I like him having his own special place to go that is DD free. I have more thoughts but all these initials are confusing me.

Bottom line: Send L to preschool. You won't regret it.

ETA: Also, my DD is hell on wheels. She's super spirited in terms of getting into stuff. Adding her as the only baby would greatly change the dynamic of childcare for my son. She is the type to eat a lego then shove another one up her nose. Some of the activities L could do without adding a baby to the mix would probably be stopped due to V's presence. I know that in T's preschool class they do TONS of stuff that T can't do at home, which I am so incredibly grateful.

ETA x2: Have you considered a preschool with a mother's day out connected? Not sure the hours you need, but that could eliminate the double drop off problem. I obviously have a lot of thoughts and opinions today.

I would keep them in the same place. If you're doing drop off and pickup for both no matter where they are you have to think of time vs money.

Is the $250 less worth it in home time, sleep time, traffic time? I don't know how much extra sleep you would get keeping them together, but the mental load I think would be drastically less. Also, how far apart will the daycare and preschool be? How many added miles, gas, wear and tear on your car?

BUT I also don't plan on sending my son to preschool unless there is a major reason to.

@crazydoglady: This is probably where we have to agree to disagree, but why not send your child with as much preparation as possible?

My personal view is that the teachers in K have a lot on their plates, a LOT. It's not fair for me to assume that they can spend extra time with my kid getting them up to speed. I accept that this might rub people the wrong way, but if you don't want to send your kid to preschool, don't.

@looch: both the OP and her DH are teachers (middle school and something else, maybe high school?) so I imagine they're quite aware of the academic aspect of this decisions, kindergarten readiness, etc.

@crazydoglady: your original post makes me lean towards keeping him at daycare, but I understand the draw of preschool!! We personally have gone back-and-forth about keeping him with his in-home care with his sister, part-time preschool (various schedules) and full-day preschool.

I'm not sure of his birth month and enrollment policies - is "next year" his last year before kinder?

@crazydoglady: Kinder teacher here! I would not hesitate to send him to preschool first. From what you've talked about with his speech delay and benefiting from a boost of maturity, I think it will make a world of difference for kindergarten. If he's academically advanced there are a number of different ways he can be enriched, both in the classroom, looping up to older grades, as well as at home. However, maturity skills (both socially and gross motor/fine motor) are pretty important, and I think the extra year would be a huge benefit. Happy to talk one-on-one if you'd like, as I did my graduate thesis on kinder readiness .

@LBee: @crazydoglady: As a 5th and 8th grade teacher, I usually could / can pick out the summer birthdays, too. Crazy that for most kids, those differences aren't gone by age 10 / 13.

@crazydoglady: I have no expert qualifications, not even as a working mom managing drop offs since I stay home. But from my perspective, I would do the two drop offs. My older daughter turned 5 at the end of the summer but we chose to hold her for kindergarten (at the advice of her preK teachers and based on what I have heard and read). I could have sent her for another year at her same preschool in the same class, where her sister was starting this year, but I know they weren’t going to give her what she needs to be ready for Kinder. So I put her in a junior kindergarten class in town and little sister attends her old preschool 15 minutes away. It’s annoying fkr this year but I think it will make the future much better (I hope!).

But pretty much everyone in my town attends preschool so it’s definitely expected. If your son has some extra needs that will be better met at a preschool, I would definitely do it.

Any chance he could go to a 3 day a week preschool so you only have 3 days of double drop offs, then do the other two with the same one as the baby? A lot of preK around me offer that (but possibly without the hours you would need).

I would 100% send the older to preschool.

We were in a similar situation. Our in home provider doesn't do any educational stuff, she reads to them and does crafts and sings songs etc but nothing regimented.

We sent DD to her knowing when she turned 3 we'd move her to preschool. We had DS and they went to the same place for about 6 months and then we transitioned DD into preschool. It's been great. DD knew her colors and shapes and stuff prior but the amount she learned was AMAZING!! they are like little sponges at this point.

Anyway, I'd put the older one in preschool

@crazydoglady: I answered really quickly and simply, but I’m also a teacher and my kids are in home daycare and I am sending my older to preschool currently for the reasons stated just for the first year before kindergarten. It has been great so far.

Mine were a bit closer in age but I split them and sent DD to preschool. It was a little more hectic with the 2 drop offs and 2 pick ups but not impossible. I didn't even question it, DD was/is speech delayed and that was the reason we moved her to the school from an inhome daycare setting. It really did make a huge difference for her. Good luck!