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This is such a hard decision, and I totally feel you on the allergy fears - Xander is the same way - anaphalyxic with milk. It's soooooooo scary having him in daycare, but he's still in the infant room and I know they keep him separated from the other children while eating and are good about cleaning up any food because of his allergies. I'm scared of when he has to move to the toddler room...

Is it possible to talk to the daycare about how they've handled severe allergies in the past? Do you have an epipen that they can keep on hand in case she does ingest anything she's not supposed to?

I'm partial to licensed daycares, but that's all I'm familiar with, so it's hard for me to say. The cost of the in-home care coupled with the great reviewed from cop families and knowing that she will more likely to be MUCH safer from accidental food exposure makes me lean towards that in-home, but I don't really know! I've never even looked at an in-home place before, so in general, they make me nervous just because I don't know much about them.

@Mrs. Taco: what's your gut telling you to do? R's health is the most important factor in R's decision.

This sounds absolutely terrifying

My concern with the in-home would be the WCM - L is always getting ahold of another kid's sippy cup and drinking from it. No big deal for us (except the other mom is a freak about germs), but that would be so dangerous for R! The in-home provider wouldn't be able to always watch her 100% - it only takes 2 seconds to grab a cup and put it to her mouth. Has she specifically addressed how something like that would be prevented?

That would really be my only concern - otherwise I would feel a lot safer at the in-home.

Oh, and if you start to not trust the in-home, would it be too difficult to get back to the center, or are you losing a difficult to get reserved spot?

@Mrs. Taco: I think that's a good idea if you can swing it. Although would you need to sign a contract with the in-home at all and owe her money if you pull R out after only a week?

While the center may have good intentions of closely monitoring your daughter while she eats, like you said, 16 kids and 3 teachers. That's just not always going to work out the way they say it will. Since her allergies seem to be pretty severe, I would go with the home daycare.

@Mrs. Taco: Yes, definitely call and ask! The fact that the kids are separated while they are eating and can only have their milk and food while separated is a HUGE bonus in my book! You wouldn't have to be constantly afraid of your child getting a hold of something she shouldn't!!

With the info you'd provided, I would def choose the in-home!

@Mrs. Taco: 16 students to 3 teachers is just over 5 to 1 anyway, so it's only slightly better than the in-home daycare!

@Mrs. Taco: Does your day care require a 2 week notice or 30 day notice? I know our's does. Something to think about when budgeting, incase you have pay for both in order to move her.

Also, ask the inhome once lunch is over if she washes the sippy cups. If they put water in them, and there is still milk in it and LO takes it from another kid, which is going to happen, wouldn't want her to have a reaction.

Oh man. This seems so tough and it doesn't seem like there is a clear winner here.

I like your thinking about trying the dayhome for a week and re-evaluating your options. IF that is an option the day care will allow. Otherwise, I would be inclined to start at the day care and see how it goes, otherwise you can always pull her out and put her in the dayhome.

Good luck! It would be so nerve racking to have such a serious allergy to consider.

ETA: I totally just saw your update, derp. Glad you figured out something that works. and I hope, one way or the other, that it does work incredibly smoothly and without incident!

@Mrs. Taco: That is good! If she doesn't want to wash, maybe have each parent bring 2. One for milk and one for water. I know some do that in R's class. Then the parents leave the water one there all week and just take home the milk one each day.

@Mrs. Taco: I think a trial run at the in-home for a week sounds like a great idea. I hope it goes smoothly and helps make the decision easier for you!