How do you respond when your child says something like this? LO is 2.5 and says these things often (usually when she's tired). She does at least say them politely ("Leave me alone please" or "please don't talk to me!"). I'm hesitant to react negatively because I want her to be able to express herself, so I usually say something like "Ok I understand just let me know when you're ready to talk." But I have no idea if that's the right thing to do. How do you react?
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I would do something along the lines of "ok, I'll be right over here" then go ahead with warnings for normal activities as needed i.e. Two minutes u til dinner...
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Lo loves to do this. Sometimes it's because she's about to do some sneaky, so I peek around the corner to see what she's up to lol. If she's frustrated or tired I try to respect the request and make sure she knows I'm close. I'll say something like, 'ok I'm going to go unload the dishwasher -I'll be in the kitchen if you need me.' I figure I need alone time sometimes so she probably does too. Usually she plays other relaxes and then comes over to me like nothing happened.
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We've taught the phrases "I need some space right now" and "I don't want to talk about it right now." It seems...I don't know...less mean. And then we respect it beyond what absolutely needs to be done. So far he hasn't done it when we are trying to talk about something important, but I'd probably override that if he did. Otherwise, those two phrases have helped tremendously.
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@Mrs Green Grass: Thanks for your input!
@JerricaBenton: Yeah I often feel this way in the morning when I first wake up too so I don't want to necessarily discourage it. And she usually only needs a minute or two before she's ready to talk/play again.
@Jess1483: That's a really good idea. I love that she says please but it still does sound mean. I'm going to try using those phrases with her. Thanks!
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@lawbee11: we do the same thing as @Jess1483, just substitute a preferred phrase and then respect the request.
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Assuming she's being serious and not silly I do something similar.
"I hear you wanting some privacy/alone time." (My lo knows this word from potty training and my bathroom privacy requests!)
"OK I'll be ____ and I'll come check on you after I ____." or "OK I'm going to go ______. Come get me if you need something!"
Or, depending on the circumstance, I might say "You sound frustrated," followed by either something like the above or "Let's get ready for bed."
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@Mrs Green Grass: Same here. I leave them be and just tell them where I'll be, then go about everything normally.
We all need our own space at times and I think it's important to respect that. I'd be chuffed as well that she asks for that so politely! I'm currently working with my 3 yr old on how to express that better as she is in a big "no! Go away!" and "don't talk to me!" (with attitude) phase. The sentiment is ok, the way it's expressed is not.... Sigh, threenagers!
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She tended to do this to people in elevators who wanted to talk about her clothes or teddy bear and she would yell "don't talk to me" and hide her face. We just used to remind her not to be rude to people, but didn't force it, because, it probably was quite overwhelming for her. If she says it nicely, we always respect it. If she is rude about it, we tell her a nicer way to say it but still respect it.
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DS says this when he's mad. Usually I tell him I'll come back later, and walk away. And then as soon as I walk away, he starts telling me to come back, I guess so I can watch him having his tantrum. There's no good response to that
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Same as others, I respect it but try and model a more polite way of putting it in my response!
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@lawbee11: If LO says this, it's usually in the morning when she's tired and not ready to wake up. I just sit quietly next to her bed for a minute, and usually in a minute or two, she is more awake and happy to talk to me. Other times, I just tell her *okay, I will be over here when you're ready/finished* (sometimes she says this when she's on the potty), and in a few minutes everything seems to be back to normal.
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As long as I don't need him to do something right away I do the same thing you do!
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@Rockies11: @2littlepumpkins: @Ree723: @travelgirl1: @Mama Bird: @Bubbles: @pwnstar: @Mrs. Lion: I appreciate all of your input
I'm going to work with LO being a little more polite in her wording but otherwise chalk it up to normal threenager stuff.
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I just walk away and enjoy the couple minutes of me time!!!
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Yes, I taught her to say, "give me some space please." So that's what we do. I think it is a healthy way of self managing- we all need space sometimes, especially if feeling grouchy and don't want to have it come off on anyone.
I'm going to work with LO being a little more polite in her wording but otherwise chalk it up to normal threenager stuff.
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