The biggest challenge with my 3 week old is SLEEP. Last night he slept for an hour then three then two and we have been up since 5. He won't go back down. Also he refuses to sleep in a crib or pack n play. Must be at a slight recline. I'm no good at sleep deprivation. I am feeling short tempered, frustrated, and weepy. It seems the only time I can nap is in the morning right when we get up because the little stinker won't nap in the afternoons. Sometimes I nap right when my husband gets home from work. How do you cope and when does it get better??
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Aw! I'm sorry you're struggling with sleep deprivation. Do you have anything the baby can sleep in on a recline like a swing, bouncer or something? Hopefully other parents have suggestions for you!
I totally understand being frustrated and short-tempered when sleep-deprived. If. You feel like you're going to snap at your husband or anyone, try just walking away - either take baby with you or leave him with your hubs. You're doing great, mom. I'm sure it will get better.
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Oh this sounds exactly like it's been going with Sienna. Right now she's sick with a cold (stuffy nose) so she ONLY wants to sleep reclined. I was so tired of being up every hour that she sleeps in a little baby chair.
I'm actually surprised that I can actually function on the lack of sleep, but I have a feeling I will crash eventually.
Do you have a swing? I know sometimes Sienna can fall asleep in that as well. I know it's only good short term (you don't want them to get used to it) but maybe it can help him get a nap routine? Clearly I'm no pro!
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Awwwwh, the first two months are so hard! DH and I took turns napping the first month since he took time off work. I was on edge the entire second month because he was back at work and he was doing a lot of overnight shifts...so I had to handle all the care.
Luckily, my LO started sleeping through the night at 8 weeks and continues to be a good sleeper.
Hang in there! -
Not sleeping sucks! Does your husband help at night? Dh and I took turns, which helped a lot. Even if lo woke up every 2 hours, I got 4 hours of straight sleep. Can someone come babysit so you can get a good nap in?
Lo started sleeping 12 hours at 2 1/2 months. But my cousin has a 1 1/2 year old that still doesn't sleep. He's up from 11-5:30 every night, and doesn't nap. Every baby is different. Hope you're one of us lucky ones and have a good sleeper!
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It really is so hard, isn't it? I coped by reminding myself that it DOES get better. When? It's different for everyone...For me, it was when LO was about 4 months old.
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I know how you feel! I'm in the worst mood this morning. The lack of sleep is catching up to me. I'm jealous of my husband bc he gets to leave during the day to go to work, but at the same time I know that I would be so sad if I couldn't stay home with our son. My feelings and emotions are obviously all over the dang place.
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I felt the same way. I need at least 7 hours to feel normal! Dh and I did a lot of trading off. I think around 6 weeks when he went back to work it got better because we had a routine. She sleeps 10 hours now at 3 months.
Have you tried the 5 S's? Mrs. Bee posted it and it saved my life!
-swaddle
-side
-suck
-sway
-shush.
DD also falls asleep every time she hears the vacuum.
Every baby is different put it does get better! -
@mediagirl: Oh yes, we have a swing, rock n play (which he sleeps in normally....) and bouncy seat. Sometimes he just wants none of it. Also, he really dislikes the swaddle, though I force it for at least 2 night stretches of sleep! I mostly feel the frustration when I can't get him back to sleep. Otherwise he is a really chill baby! I just didn't anticipate how crappy I would feel on 5-6 non-consecutive hours of sleep...
@blushink: Tyler has only liked sleeping on a recline since day 1! I wonder if he has reflux or something? He freaks out whenever we put him in the pack n play or crib and he sleeps in the rock n play. I have no idea how you are managing with 2 - just having 1 is kicking my butt!!!!
@artbee: @autumnlove: I am already looking forward to when my husband has vacation this summer! Unfortunately he can't take many night shifts because he has to get up for work at 5 or 5:30 (he's in his last year of surgery residency, woo hoo!) But if it works out that Tyler is up for a feeding at that time, my husband will give him a bottle. He usually also takes over right when he gets home from work so that I can nap, clean up, do whatever I want to do. On occasion, he'll swoop in in the middle of the night to soothe Tyler when he won't go back down after a feeding.
@Rubies: That's true....I just always thought that after a night feeding, the baby would pretty much go back to sleep right away. Tyler does that for the first stretch but then afterwards he is too alert/wants to be soothed/wants to party!
@marriedandlovingit: Uuugh, yep! I also feel incredibly guilty for feeling frustrated when Tyler won't go back to sleep. He is not a fussy baby and I feel lucky for that, so why can't I cope with the night sleep?
@His Barista: I haven't tried the 5 S's yet because he doesn't really cry and I sort of thought that was for colicky babies? He is easy to soothe - just won't go back to sleep! Example - he was squawking and fussing when I put him in the swing at 6:30. I tried to let him self-soothe because he was not actually crying (but also too loud for me to go back to sleep...) but at 7:30 I thought maybe he was hungry so I picked him up. He immediately fell asleep on me and I put him in the swing...he's been asleep for an hour now. But it's hard to do this in the middle of the night! I do have the book (got 1/2 way through) and have the DVD. Perhaps I should try that after a feeding and see if that will put him to sleep so that I can put him down again easily.
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The first 6 weeks are so tough! Do you have anyone who can come over and watch the baby while you catch some Zzzs?
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@winniebee: Well honesty newborns are tough because they don't communicate and they don't have a routine. Sure having a 22 month old toddler is something. Running around and stuff, but he can walk, relax and watch some television, eat on his own etc.
Trust me when I say it's not that bad, especially when Mavrick sleeps through the night!
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This is my biggest fear, I am a person that is used to a lot of sleep, and am a Crappy McGee when I don't get it! Everyone says you adjust, but I'm worried I won't!
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Can you do something to prop up the crib mattress so it's at a slight incline to see if that works? I know at the hospital, they had us put the bassinet at a slight incline (there was a piece of wood we flipped down that was about 2" high and rested under the mattress).
Good luck, and hang in there. I've been told the "fun" part is coming soon (aka "justification for thinking having a baby was a good idea in the first place"). -
Do you nurse Tyler at night? If so, one thing that made a huge difference for us was nursing in the side-lying position. Since we started this, my LO is lights out with no effort at all on my part. And its so nice to be able to doze a little while they're feeding. The extra Zs while feeding even though they're brief, and being able to put her back down so much quicker has made a huge difference in both our sleep.
I also had our LO sleep in her proper bassinet last night (she'd been in a cupped PnP one until then) and she did so well... I credit the wombie we had her in, because otherwise she's hated sleeping flat on her back too.
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@winniebee: Definitely try the 5Ss!!! It's for all babies, not just colicky ones...
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Aww - so sorry you're going through this. It does get better (or you just get used to being sleep deprived). I remember going through the same range of emotions when my LO was the same age. I have no advice for you, as you seem to be doing everything I tried, but I do have (((HUGS))). Hang in there!
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@winniebee I was seriously going to post a very similar thread this morning! I feel your pain! DD is 5 weeks(6 on Saturday) and I thought I would be sleeping more by now! Hubby and I are at our wits end! My little one was previously about 2 weeks ago sleeping 3-4 hours in her crib, but now she has ditched the crib and will only sleep on either her boppy, bouncer ot me or hubby and sleeps no more than 2 hours at a time. I am having my mom come over so that I can nap today while she takes care of Lily. Sorry, this wAs not very helpful at all, maybe more of an empathy post, hang in there!
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My baby is 6 weeks old and I'm still having sleep issues with her, everyone says it gets better but it doesnt feel like it right now
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@winniebee: DD didn't have colic. She would just jerk around in her sleep and wake herself up. Andbthe second we put her down she would just cry and cry. I think there is a whole blog post on sleep tips. I don't know what I would have done without them. : ) I'm sorry you are having a tough time! I remember crying a few times I was so tired ans frustrated.
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My mom visiting for 2 weeks when DS was 5 weeks old saved our family, no joke. She got him sleeping in the crib and I was able to finally catch up.
I still had moments of crying at nothing, that lasted until about 3 months post partum. It does get better but I do know that those first weeks feel like years at some moments.
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In a similar boat and my son is 7 weeks now. He ends up sleeping on my chest at a slight incline (with pillows) often, He is the lightest sleeper otherwise, and at this point, I personally don't care how we go about getting to sleep, as long as we get some. Sleep training can come later. He does have reflux, though, so that's part of it. We've yet to have more than 4 hours between feedings, and the norm is still 2. He's a hungry little sucker.
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Ah, honey, it IS hard! Especially at first. I think most people see a big improvement around 6 weeks, and then again around 3 months, so it really is a waiting game until your baby matures enough to start sleeping better.
In the meantime, sleep whenever you can and ask for help if you have friends/family nearby. Even if someone can just come over and hold him for an hour or two while you nap, it will help. And if you can sleep even if he's awake (as long as he's happy and safe), that might help, too. Hugs, it will get better very soon! You just have to survive for the first few weeks.
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@mrbee: do u happen to have the link?
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@winniebee: if he will only sleep at an incline, have you seen the nap nanny?
http://www.amazon.com/Nap-Nanny-Chill-Infant-Recliner/dp/B004J35D0Q/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1339092429&sr=8-1
our guy slept in it for about 2 months when we moved him out of the bassinet. I found that it "hugged" him a little more than his wide open crib and helped him sleep longer. He didn't have the incline issue, but it's a nice bonus. My niece used it for reflux issues. -
While I'm sorry that others are going through something similar, I'm glad I'm not alone!!
Last night was much, much better. I followed some of the sleep tips on Hellobee (and a few offered by friends) including: (1) swaddling- no exceptions, even if he fusses and tries to bust out (2) using white noise sleep sheep (which we use every night anyways) (3) not talking to him/making eye contact during night (4) feeding him in darkness (used just a night light) (5) making sure he was sleepy/eyes closed when put him down (6) not changing his diaper in the middle of the night (except once where he peed through his outfit (7) going to bed at 9 when I thought he was about to begin his best stretch of sleep and (8) if he fussed when I put him down, I placed my hand on him and rocked his basinett a little and sssshhhhhed until he seemed calm. The end result -- he slept from 9-11, 11:30-12:45, 1:15-3:30, 4:45-7 (with some fussing from 6-7 which I ignored). So, I got sort of 7 hours of sleep and feel so much more human and so much better able to tackle the day.
@BabyBruins: Cool, thank you!
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