I hope everybody had a great time over the holidays and HAPPY 2018!

Wow! I have not been on any of the boards since LO was born. This community has helped me a lot when we initially were TTC for our son. Now, baby fever has set in BIG TIME.

LO is now 4yrs old and 2 mos. DH and I have talked to each other about having another one and when that would be. DH answered me at that time and said, "Now!" I would like to say it has probably been about a year now, or maybe a little less.

I've had several "maybes" after being late for 4 days (at the most). But just like before, if I was late a certain month, rest assure I would be early the following. I'm in that frustrating stage again and I don't like it. A friend who is also currently TTC35+ said, "Who knew it was THIS hard to get pregnant after being told our lives to be careful about being pregnant?" I know right?! WHO KNEW!!!

After over a year, DH and I tried out the SoftCup when TTC for LO and maybe within a couple of months, we got our BFP. I was so excited and even gave the rest of the cups in the box to a friend of mine. Within a couple of months, that friend also conceived using the SoftCups. This time around, we've started using them right away, but haven't been successful. It's a different type of frustration. It makes me think and ask myself, "Should we just not try or do we keep trying? We have LO right now; we should be happy with that." And yes, we are happy with LO. But both DH and I have several siblings and thought having a sibling for LO would be good/nice.

I was folding laundry last night and noticed that LO still had 2T-3T clothes. So I had to fold them away and box them up ready for donation. I started to get REALLY emotional and every piece of clothing I folded reminded me of the little things LO did while wearing it; whether it was just running around the house or reaching a milestone. So the frustration kicked into high gear for sure as I thought to myself, "Aww wouldn't it be nice to have another one?" But sometimes I do think perhaps not; especially when I think of the stress and sleepless nights when LO is sick. I had pretty bad post-partum anxiety and thought, if I'm freaking out at the mere sound of a cough or a sight of runny nose; what business do I have having another one and would I be able to even handle it?

Ugh, so many emotions!!! I hope I'm not the only TTC mom going through this.