I don't care if my LO want's to play with so called "boy" toys. If I have a boy someday, he is more than welcome to play with "girl" toys, (dolls, barbies etc). We have a friend who always says "No, X you don't want to play with that, that is a girl toy" I think it's great to let them imagine and experience different types of things, rather than limiting them to what they can play with. Would you/do you let your LO play with toys that are generally geared towards the opposite sex?
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Ya, I let her play with "boy" toys!
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I don't have a problem with it! I think when people try to steer kids toward/away from something, it backfires and the kid wants it even more.
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Absolutely!! I don't think it matters at all!
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I encourage my LO to play with toys that he is drawn to, and it doesn't matter if it's a boy or girl toy. He has a play kitchen that he plays with every single day.
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@yin: Aaaw, bless him!! That's so sweet!!! Besides, most of the top chefs are male!!
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I don't think it matters. DH thinks its weird and I mentioned play kitchens and he was like, no way, not for our son.
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we don't care. We have two girls though, so there aren't a lot of really boyish toys here.
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I love mr and mrs bee's stance on it. I'll have to look at previous threads to see if I can find it.
There shouldn't be gender stereotypes in toys. A boy will become a dad just like a girl will become a mom and I think it's healthy for a boy to channel his sensitivity and a nurturing spirit through doll play.
As a little girl I grew up playing Legos with my brothers which was a great imagination trigger.
Both men and women ought to be proficient in kitchen skills and I personally think of that as a neutral toy. I want to get DS a play kitchen soon!
I think it's healthy to explore all avenues of play regardless of gender.
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@ladyfingers: my husband is a great cook so when I suggested a play kitchen he didn't flinch, thank goodness!
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@Mrs. Pen: I loved Legos growing up, and can't wait to get some for LO. I could sit and build houses for hours on end with the smaller Legos. I also played with my cousins batman toys and cars. I turned out just fine! I hope LO wants to explore all sorts of types of things when she is a little older.
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@Mrs. Pen: Oh, I'm not going to let it go ;). I think he was thinking more "EZ-Bake Oven" ... not that it's bad if DS wants to play with that either, but when I explained what I meant, he seemed more open to it. He's still pretty traditional, though, and would probably be really uncomfortable with DS playing with a Barbie. I just don't want him to ever make DS feel weird if he does want to play with "girl" toys.
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C plays with "boy" toys. She has robots, tools, etc. I have no problem with it. I would feel the same if we had a son who wanted to play with dolls.
@Mrs. Pen: I def think a play kitchen is a neutral toy!
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Well, we are doing a 'robots & rockets' nursery whether it is a boy or a girl, so that should tell you something lol. I could care less what 'gender' toys my kids play with, as long as they are having fun and hopefully learning something! I loved Legos and Hot Wheels along with my American Girl doll as a kid!
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I don't think it matters, honestly. I grew up with two brothers so we definitely had more "boy" toys. Plus with things like blocks, etc, it doesn't even matter!
This flowchart pretty much sums up how I feel about gendered toys:
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@MediaNaranja: that is perfect! Love it.
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I feel like there is a bigger bias for boys. If a girl tends towards boys things, then they are called "tomboys". If a boy leans towards girly things its like he's automatically at risk for a sexual identity crisis.
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My son wants care bears for Christmas. I don't mind b/c they are cute. He does tell his little brother that pink is for girls though. Oh well!
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I don't mind it at all but I would never let my son play dress up in girls clothes or paint nails/ wear makeup.
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My daughter especially loves matchbox cars and trains. Her best friends are all boys, so we do a lot of boy stuff... Then again, she loves her girl stuff too. My little one loves whatever big sis loves.
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my plan is to have only gender neutral toys in our home, but i'd be totally fine with our LO playing with any gender-specific toys. they're just toys. if they find it fun, then let them play with it.
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I don't mind at allmy son will play with whatever he wants to regardless if its dolls or trucks. I don't believe in gender differences between toys
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@cyndistar3: Why not?
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The only toys that I consider to be "girl toys" are barbies and baby dolls. I couldn't see myself buying them for my son but wouldn't care if we were somewhere else and he was interested in them. I just don't think it's that big of a deal.
We were originally planning on buying a play kitchen for DS this Christmas. (We decided to wait until he's a little older.) I was getting a lot of flack for it because "kitchens are for girls." I think that is the most ridiculous things to say about a kitchen. The culinary world is male dominated. Get it together, people!
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@sarac: It just crosses my personal line of comfort. I don't care if he wants to play with a doll but I don't really like seeing little boys running around with their nails painted.
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@MediaNaranja: bahaha live that!
Ditto to that chart- ill let my boy play with and wear what he wants in terms of dolls etc i wouldn't let either gender play with anything I consider to be violent or violence encouraging or those gross sexy teeny bopper dolls like bratz. I try not to even use language like 'girl toys' or ' girl colors'
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My kids will be allowed to play with any toys, less violent ones like pp said - and I hate skanky barbies like bratz too!!
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I would - we don't have LOs yet but growing up my sisters and I had the best Tonka trucks and diggers/bulldozers/etc in our sand pit! My sister was totally into bugs too, and I was into dinosaurs - both more "boyish" likes, I suppose.
We had a male cousin and we (and his sister) liked to make him a "pretty girl" like us - dress him up in dresses and make up and nail polish. He's 25 now, a macho rugby-playing boofhead, and it still makes him laugh - he remembers those times as good times! -
Lo has a couple of boy toys, but not many. She does have friends that are boys though and she plays with their toys that are very boyish.
I'm 100% sure if we have a boy next hell be playing with his older sisters girl toys. They'll want to play together. And I think that will be awesome.
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I think there is an underlying issue in these types of discussions that needs to be addressed before we start looking at toys, and that is that there are differences between how boys and girls play. I agree with this woman, who was quoted with respect to the Egalia preschool in Sweden:
"Different gender roles aren't problematic as long as they are equally valued," says Tanja Bergkvist.
The problem, of course, is that housekeeping and child-rearing are not valued by adults on the same level as most traditionally "male" work, which is why, I suspect, many parents of little girls have qualms about housekeeping- and child-rearing-type toys aimed at girls. While I'm not planning to buy my son a play kitchen or baby dolls, I am teaching him how to take care of himself and others, cook, clean, and be respectful. If I do my job properly, he will value "women's" work equally with "male" jobs.
To answer the original question, I do not discourage LO from playing with any toys. I stay out of his way while he's playing, unless he asks me to play with him.
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@cyndistar3: So, how would you feel if a son grew up and painted his nails as an adult?
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I don't think I would necessarily buy barbie dolls or pink girly toys for LO on my own, but if we were at a store and he wanted it, I would probably get it...I think it's great for boys to play with dolls/babies, as it helps teach them about being caretakers. I also don't necessarily think I would buy LO makeup and nail polish, but I can totally see us painting our toes together with my polish when he's older, or putting some blush on him for fun, lol.
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I've always purchased boy toys for DD. I don't want it to be girly overload. She likes to wear girly clothes so I buy cars, trains, dinosaur, or gender neutral toys to balance it all out.
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I am going to get Dd into a traditionally boy domain -science and engineering toys (Goldieblox) made for girls. I think eventually most toys will be advertised gender neutral and there would be less of an issue for parents.
I was at a kid's birthday party yesterday and I couldn't put together even two pieces of a car track. My other girl friend (she grew up with a brother the same age difference as me) came along and she built the whole set in minutes. I think your future skills depend on a mix of the the child’s interests and encouragement of family when they are young.
I remember my cousins holding my brother down to put makeup on him. He hated it!! -
oh absolutely, i see nothing wrong with it at all. with our DD, she loves her dolls and dressing up, but she also LOVEs playing with tonka trucks, hot wheels, and loves to copy her daddy fixing things. my husband's grandfather asked us what to get DD for christmas, and he was surprised when we told him to get her a toy tool set and he said isn't that for boys, but we explained to him that boys and girls can enjoy it, and DD would love it!
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We'll encourage our kids to play with whatever toys interest them, I don't really think toys are "gendered" anyway.
I also don't have any issues with our boys playing dress up either - it's normal imagination play and I think they'll grow out of it when they are ready. I'm not going to tell them to wear nail polish, but if they ask? Sure.
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