DH stayed home with sick LO (13.5 months) yesterday and that's what he told me when I got home. Ugh. I know she's much happier when I take her out of the house or invite people over but to hear that she's also fantastic just when I'm gone kinda sucks.
LO is not even in a rough phase so I'm not complaining about the behavior I'm seeing. I'm more worried that I'm a crappy mom that can't make her kid relaxed and happy. Anybody else go through this?
coconut / 8475 posts
How do you know it is because she's happier?
Mine behaves "worse" with me because he knows he can get away with it:/
grapefruit / 4120 posts
I believe this is probably true! It is in my case. When I am at home (and the nanny is there) the kids cry more and want to be with me. When they know I'm not there, they just go about their business. Mamas can be a disrupting presence but it's because they love us!
pomelo / 5258 posts
@CupQuakeWalk: When she's home alone with me or with me and DH together it's near constant whining/screaming/crying. She only plays with her toys for short periods of time and wants to be picked up/put down a dozen times per minute. Generally very clingy to me when there isn't somebody (anybody) more interesting around. We have fun and laugh but she has no neutral with me.
Yesterday DH was raving about how she played independently and happily for most of the day. He had several videos to prove it too. Just a very 'chill' day at home.
pomelo / 5820 posts
Was that a rare occurrence for DH to be home with LO without you? Maybe she was less fussy because DH watching her without you was new and exciting. Sometimes my LO is better for DH than for me, but I think it's just because he's not used to him being around all day.
When he stays home for more than a day or two, DS is no better for my husband than he is for me 
watermelon / 14206 posts
Kids are always worse for mom. My mom says that the best example od your kids is the one that is when you're not around. If they're good then, you're doing a great job.
wonderful pomelo / 30692 posts
Yeah, Xander's like this. He's pretty easy going if it's just Hubs, but if he knows I'm around, he's more fussy because he wants Mama's attention. Consider it love! 
papaya / 10570 posts
YES! E is generally pretty fractious around me but if we go out and about she's happy as Larry - she loves smiling at strangers and is so happy when people talk to her. She is routinely happy all day with nanny and grandad (they look after her Mon-Weds) and then as soon as I turn up to collect her she starts crying and fussing. If she is a bit grumpy, DH can cheer her up but as soon as he passes her to me - meltdown.
Someone on here suggested in another thread that babies do this because mummy is their safe person, that they are comfortable expressing their emotions around so when they see you they remember they're tired/hungry/grumpy and start crying. I don't know how true that is but I console myself with it! It's like when I'm having a bad day, I hold myself together at work, on the drive home, all day until I see DH and then I break down. I think of it being a bit like that (I'm delusional!).
grapefruit / 4187 posts
I feel this way whenever i solo parent only because i get to make all the decisions and can go at my own pace. I also get 100% access to the kitchen, when dh is home it's hard to keep him out of there and there isnt enough room for both of us so that really slows me down. This could have something to do with it!
pomelo / 5678 posts
Sometimes I think lo is fussier with me than her dad because I am her food... you know?
Aaand sometimes it seems easier to hang with her alone because dh can be crabby but other times he helps entertain her just by being there.
honeydew / 7811 posts
My LO is definitely like this. If someone else (DH, Grandma) is trying to take care of him, I basically need to leave.
I have to be out of the room for DH and LO's bedtime routine for example.
GOLD / wonderful pomegranate / 28905 posts
Truth. But I don't think it's a reflection of our parenting skills. I think most are just clingier and whinier with moms!
apricot / 394 posts
This is the story of my life! DD is a breeze when she's with my husband. When I am around, she's much more fussy and clingy. I think it's very common.
cantaloupe / 6086 posts
totally true at our house. way more whiny and clingy with me. when she's alone with DH she's very chill and plays independently quite a bit more than she would do for me. on the flip side she will drop him like a hot potato if I come into view/hearing. I think it's just their mama obsession.
GOLD / wonderful olive / 19030 posts
My husband tells me this all the time "she was fine until you got home." she becomes "all about mom" when I'm home & plays more independently with him. I take it as she likes me better 
HAHA JK but you aren't alone!
nectarine / 2115 posts
@mamimami: This. I have a lot of experience with caring for children in different scenarios (church nursery, babysitting, nannying, school programs, etc). Most children "act out" more when mom is around. It's usually because they want her attention! I would consider it a compliment at this point
pomegranate / 3759 posts
Yep so common here! I think kids just behave worse when theres two parents around just to test the waters!As soon as DH gets home, all the good behaviour is out the window.
coconut / 8861 posts
LO acts up more for DH than me as his current favorite. When I did some solo parenting for a few hours, LO was way more calm with me than DH.
I still have a long way to go though. I'm too lenient on his morning routine, so I'm going to start reigning that in because he might be becoming a bit of a terror in the morning, therefore thinking he's the boss, so not good.
persimmon / 1233 posts
Yep, when we were home for Thanksgiving/Christmas our families made us leave the room so they could play with LO alone, since he was whiny if we were in eyesight. Just one of those things!
pomegranate / 3331 posts
@Cherrybee: i took comfort in this too, and still do, every single day! i don't care if i'm delusional
pomegranate / 3729 posts
This has always been true for us. If DH is watching her and I am somewhere else in the house she is whining for me and acting out. If I am really gone, she is a little angel. Also, she hits me and acts out and doesn't even think about doing that to her daycare worker or Grandmother who both watch her regularly.
apricot / 442 posts
True for us too.
Total bummer because I want to be a SAHM, but he would be way better at it.
I also think it's because he has to get more creative at entertaining her. I'm just the food to her!
wonderful pear / 26210 posts
Totally true for us...however, if my husband and I are together, we get even worse behaviour.
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