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I don't have kids yet but I think my husband should come first. I think that a marriage requires attention to make it work over the years. I don't want my husband to ever feel lost in the shuffle so to speak. I always feel like if I put my marriage first then my kids will grow up with the knowledge of what a healthy relationship looks like. We want to be a good example to them.

My husband and I have always promised to put our marriage first. He is my number one priority. If we can keep each other happy and our environment loving then our children will feel that and hopefully carry that on into their lives.
Someone who I'm very close to lives the other way. I have slowly watched their marriage go from "perfect" to a hell ride. Arguing, threatening of divorce, and not wanting to spend any time with each other. Her oldest Daughter is 2 and a half and her newest addition 7 months. These children have never spent a single night away from their parents and the longest time they have been baby sat is 3 hours. They don't ever get a chance to reconnect because those children are her total focus. It's sad to say, but I'm just waiting for them to get divorced.

DH is DS's stepdad, but our marriage still comes first. We are a single unit that create the stable foundation that DS stands on.
If DH and I keep our marriage solid then we keep the foundation of our family solid. That simple.

Now DH and I both have a full heart for DS and will for all of our future children... and in that we both get to give each other little "wake up" calls when we get lazy or complacent or self seeking and that keeps us together as a single unit too.

I've watched marriages AND families fall apart b/c the husband and wife lost sight of each other and mothers (primarily) focused and got their fulfillmet in/through their kids & taking care of them instead of taking care of their husbands.

We even had to go through and break that between DH and his mom and created appropriate boundaries b/c she had enveloped herself so much in him. Thankfully we're starting to have a more functional extended family and DH and I hope that we can continue that with our family & children for now and their future. =)

My marriage and kids go in different places. Each need their own attention and nurturing. I can't really compare the two because they are so different to me.

I agree with @Rosie girl. I could never say my hubby comes before my baby, or my baby comes before my hubby. They're both important to me in their own way.

i agree with the article. i will put my husband first.

I don't have children yet, but I definitely agree with this sentiment and what others have posted. Having a good, strong marriage only builds a great foundation for your family. Making sure you prioritize the marriage creates happiness for everyone. Plus, I don't think it's healthy for children to be put first all the time - that's how they become spoiled and entitled, in my opinion.

We're not pregnant yet, but I like to think that I put my marriage first. We've been married two years before trying. I wanted us to have an established marriage before bringing kids into the picture. I didn't get married for the sole purpose of having kids. I got married because I love my husband and want a life with him, kids included.

I know that kids will be a focus in our marriage, but not the only one. I'm happy that we waited to be married a bit before we started trying for kids. I couldn't have imagined kids in the first year of marriage despite being with my husband for 5 years prior.