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I gained 45 lbs the first time and about 32 lbs the second time. I didn't do anything differently and in fact, didn't have time to work out at all the second time around (and I did work out 2-3 times a week the first pregnancy).

One thing is that with a toddler, you have less time to lay around--with both of my pregnancies, I didn't gain because I was eating a ton (I eat far more now, as I produce milk)-it was because I was so sick, I spend all my non-work time literally lying in bed or on the couch my first pregnancy. I barely ate, because I had 24/7 nausea, but the things I could stomach were like.....chips. cereal. White bread and peanut butter. And when you are just laying down all day long, you are probably only using 1000 cals or so.

So, the second pregnancy I was also sick and could only eat crap, but I couldn't just lie down all the time because I had a toddler. Just being ever-so-slightly-more active made me gain less.

You've gotten some good tips. I just wanted to say to be kind to yourself if it doesn't work out. I've found that with my pregnancies, each one has had a different style of morning sickness in the beginning which really affected the way I gained. I tend to get nausea which doesn't go away unless I eat, and insane aversions to anything except carbs, so weight comes on really quickly at the beginning. With my first, I gained 6 pounds before a loss at 10 weeks. With my LO, morning sickness was milder so I managed to stay within the 5 pound recommendation for the whole first tri. With the next one, my morning sickness was the worst of all and I gained 10 pounds before a loss at 12 weeks, even with chasing around my toddler and walking an hour each day (I have a walking commute). All three times, I tried my best but had really different results. So for me it really depends on the pregnancy. There is lots of good advice out there but honestly I think some of it is just chance and genetics and you should try to be gentle on yourself.

I think, with reasonable management on your part--your body will do what it will do.

I gained too much the first time. I started this pregnancy heavier (though I did lose all the weight the first time, school put a little back on me)--and every week starting in 2nd tri, I weigh the same as I did last time.
This time I'm not getting crap from my doctors because 1. my doctors are better now, 2. I have proof that I can lose it all, 3. I'm borderline on the normal range because I started out 8lbs heavier this time.

Both times I work out several times a week, I eat well, lots of veggies, etc. I calorie tracked some random days and I am not even eating more, my body is just doing whatever it wants. And I'm working on being ok with it.

Did you lose all the weight you gained with #1? I think you are doing it right--losing the weight first and starting healthier is a great idea! Good luck TTC.

With my first, I gained about 35 pounds from week 10 until I delivered. I actually gained about 45 pounds from my BFP weight. This time, I started out heavier, but I had been lifting weights so I have no idea how much that affected things, but at 15 weeks I have lost a pound. I'm trying to stay on track and not eat as many sweets, but it's hard. Good luck!

@JennyPenny: I just remembered something I read that said that second trimester weight gain is the key to keeping yourself on track. That made sense with me, since even if you have to give yourself some slack in the first trimester due to morning sickness, usually you can get back to working out and eating healthier in the second trimester. So if you end up heavier than you wanted after the first trimester, you need to just commit to being healthier in the second tri instead of just giving up, since that will compound it.