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DH enjoys playing video games every once in a while. I think I would have a problem if he played EVERY day for TWO hours?! Maybe you should talk to him and come up with a healthy compromise. 1 hour of video games and 1 hour of helping around the house?!

DH is actually more productive during the kids' naps. What bugs me is that he'll surf the web or just be on his phone WHILE watching the kids. I sometimes wish he would engage them a little more but then I think, maybe we'll practice our "benign neglect" when he's with the kids. He's much better now that the weather is nice though. They go for walks or to the park.

@Mrs. Jacks: DH is a big video gamer too. He goes through phases. I used to always find him and LO sitting in front of the TV whenever I come back from the gym saturday mornings. But now he tries to mix in other activities with the LO so he's not in front of the screen the entire time. LO totally knows DH is the one to beg for TV because he'll eventually cave.

When DH took 5 weeks off to help after LO arrived, I found that he got a little more lax than compared to when he went to work. I think he saw that because I was the one nursing him, he couldn't help out that much. There were days where I got really frustrated and tried to communicate gently but because i was also battling with baby blues, it all just came out. haha. Anyway, I would suggest that you don't "bite your tongue" but make sure you communicate with him or else you'll get frustrated, bitter, and/or resentful. Yes, he does work hard and needs time to unwind but you need time as well and your marriage is a partnership. (*stepping down the soapbox now*)

@Mrs. Jacks: yeah my husband was like that. He'd complain that never has time for anything, but hecwould watch tv for hours when he got home.

Whenever I talked to him it never seemed to get through. So I started suggesting things to do together. He'd sit down to watch tv and I'd ask if he wants to play a game, make dinner with me, etc. Or I'd suggest, "hey you were saying how you wanted to _____, wanna try it now?" I started planning activities I knew he wanted to try. I took him to the hardware store and told him to buy what he wanted for projects.

It worked, he's a lot more productive with his time and offers to help out around the house too.

@Mrs. Jacks: If this is the only way that LJ can sleep then I don't think I would be toooooo annoyed. But I would say hey, do you need to spend the entire 2 hours playing video games every single day? Hope your convo went well!!

@Mrs. Jacks: I guess it's just when someone has negative thoughts or frustrations even if they're not verbally expressed they are usually manifested somehow in actions. So I'm not sure that it's great to bottle it up and end up resenting him either.

But if you think he deserves time to unwind, I guess I'm not sure what the problem is, would it be different if he was reading a book instead of playing video games? Or are you irritated that he gets time to unwind and you haven't had time to unwind lately?

No kids here, but I hear you on the time suck thing being annoying. We do our best not to give each other a hard time, but it's hard to hide obvious frustration when one person is home lounging and there is a sink full of dishes or an overflowing hamper.

I've learned from experience that it bothers my DH most during his busy time when he has to work long hours for him to come home to any kind of mess. It's slightly irrational and unfair since I'm also working a full day, but it still bothers him so I do my best to make an extra effort around the house. In turn, he is really good about helping me do my 'designated' chores if his are all done instead of watching TV or whatever. Like last night, I was simultaneously doing laundry and making dinner and he was so bothered by the fact that he was lounging while all this work was being done that he insisted on taking over the laundry - even though he hates it.