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MC naturally or D&C?

  1. artsyfartsy

    cantaloupe / 6692 posts

    I'm so so sorry.

  2. erinpye

    pomegranate / 3706 posts

    Sorry for your loss.

  3. Applesandbananas

    pomegranate / 3845 posts

    I'm so sorry.

  4. jaguar

    pomegranate / 3764 posts

    That's exactly what happened with my first miscarriage. 11 week appt, baby measured 9 weeks. We opted to d&c (with OB's suggestion) because of the sizing. *hugs*

  5. mamabolt

    nectarine / 2797 posts

    I'm sorry for your loss. At a similar point (baby measured 10w) I opted for D&C because I wanted the closure ASAP and could arrange childcare and time off from work more easily.

  6. Alba4

    nectarine / 2951 posts

    I'm so sorry for your sad news. These decisions are never easy.

    I've had 2 miscarriages. With my first, there was no heartbeat @6.5 weeks and I chose a D&C because the thought of randomly miscarrying was too much to deal with (especially if I was at work).

    The second one was this past June and I was should have been 10 weeks, but baby died @8.5 weeks. My Dr. Recommended taking misoprostol. I did, it turned out I had an incomplete miscarriage and after a very emotional 2.5 weeks, ended up having a D&C after all.

    Take some time, there is no bad decision. Sending you healing thoughts and love.

  7. Smurfette

    GOLD / wonderful coconut / 33402 posts

    I'm so sorry for your loss.

  8. MamaCate

    pomegranate / 3595 posts

    @HLK208: first, I am so sorry for your loss!

    Second, I had a similar situation--went in for 12 wk appt and no HB, stopped growing around 9 weeks by measurement. I opted for a d&c and was glad I did. My doc had some concerns about waiting since it had not happened naturally yet. It sucked but it was nice to have some control over when it happened rather than worrying about a natural miscarriage while taking care of the kids. Please wall me if you want to chat more.

  9. simplyfelicity

    cantaloupe / 6634 posts

    I'm so sorry for your loss. I also chose the D&C because I was afraid of spontaneously miscarrying while teaching.
    I have a friend who had similar dates as you and decided to miscarry at home. She said it was a difficult, but healing experience. I don't think you can go wrong but I am sorry you are faced with this decision.

  10. sorrycharlie

    hostess / watermelon / 14932 posts

    I'm so sorry

  11. SweetiePie

    honeydew / 7463 posts

    Very sorry for your loss.
    I had 2 missed miscarriages like yours. One at 7 weeks and one at 11 weeks.
    Both times I opted for a DC. The first one I waited a week and couldn't bear the waiting anymore. I was told it could take a month to happen naturally.
    The second one I booked ASAP. But I was going away for a week so during that week I was just hoping and praying it wouldn't happen on the plane, at my parents house, etc.
    Nothing about it is "good", but I liked that with a D&C it was just over and my body and heart could heal faster. I also had the tissue tested after my 2nd D&C and we discovered the underlying issue. Who knows how many more MC I would have had had we not known.

    The procedure itself was extremely easy and I felt fine (physically) the same day. I'm happy to answer any questions you have.

    And fwiw, I had a friend with a missed MC around 8/9 weeks and she chose to wait. It took 3 weeks and finally happened while she was at a spa for a girls day....white towel and all. She got home and finished it out and it was quite painful and traumatic. She wishes passionately she had just done the D&C.

    Very sorry and I wish you peace in whatever you decide.

  12. mrsjyw

    GOLD / wonderful apricot / 22646 posts

    I am so so sorry sweet friend 💖🙏

  13. MrsSCB

    pomelo / 5257 posts

    I'm so sorry

  14. Banana330

    nectarine / 2317 posts

    @HLK208: So sorry for your loss. It's incredibly heartbreaking whenever it happens. It's not your fault.

    I've had two MC. The first was natural, around 5.5 weeks. The second I lost twins at 9 weeks. They recommended the D&C for worry of blood loss. I think it depends on the type of person you are. I know I wanted it over with and not to drag on. The procedure was straightforward, general anesthesia, day surgery and other than some normal bleeding after I was up and around physically within a day or two. Emotionally took longer. Let yourself grieve in whatever way you have to.

    My OB then started me on baby aspirin and progesterone just in case, as they tested but couldn't get results. I was told to wait one natural period after the surgery and we could start trying again.

  15. knittylady

    pomegranate / 3212 posts

    I'm so so sorry.

  16. Truth Bombs

    grapefruit / 4321 posts

    @HLK208: there was nothing you did wrong. Of that I am certain. Sometimes these things just happen, and it's so crappy when it happens to someone as lovely as you. You'll be in my prayers tonight!

  17. matador84

    papaya / 10560 posts

    I am really sorry to hear this news. No advice, just prayers.

  18. Mrs. Champagne

    coconut / 8483 posts

    Oh I am so so sorry for your loss.

    I think with three kids at home, getting it over with with the d & c will be better. I had a miscarriage at 10.5 weeks (that's when I took the misoprostol) but the baby only measured 6 weeks, so there wasn't too much to pass...
    DH did have to take a couple days off to watch ds because I was bleeding and needed to just lie down.

    Again, I am so sorry.

  19. sunny

    coconut / 8430 posts

    I'm so sorry for your loss.

  20. Mrs.Someone

    pomelo / 5228 posts

    At that point, I'd go for d&c. I've heard natural can be really painful and I think seeing the tissue would be upsetting. So sorry for your loss

  21. Freckles

    honeydew / 7444 posts

    I am so sorry.

  22. LCTBQE

    nectarine / 2461 posts

    So very, very sad to read your update tonight. With my MMC, I had a D&C--the fetus died at 6.5w and they caught it at 8.5w, and like yours, my body was nowhere near recognizing it. I was devastated, but I also felt grateful to be in good hands at the hospital and know that it was completely over.

    If your doctor can't schedule you until next week, it's also possible that the process could begin naturally before then. Hope you can be gentle with yourself. 1000% it is *not* anything you did or didn't do.

  23. yin

    honeydew / 7917 posts

    I'm so sorry for your loss.

  24. Mrs. Sunshine

    hostess / cantaloupe / 6486 posts

    Oh no!! I am so so so sorry. Ahh, my heart breaks for you and your family. So much love your way

  25. Purpledaisy

    nectarine / 2972 posts

    I'm so sorry

  26. BabyMats

    nectarine / 2031 posts

    I'm so so sorry for your loss

  27. BabyBoecksMom

    GOLD / papaya / 10166 posts

    @HLK208: I'm so so so sorry, love

  28. HLK208

    pineapple / 12234 posts

    Thank you everyone...I wish I could reply to all of you because I'm so grateful for the support...but I'm worn out from today.

    DH and I had to tell our 3 year old and almost 7 year old...that was too hard. My 3 year old was sad but my 7 year old fell back on the couch and sobbed. DH and I couldn't hold it together while DS cried.

    Anyway, I'll be calling tomorrow AM to set up the D&C hopefully for Friday so it doesn't happen naturally.

  29. fancyfunction

    grapefruit / 4085 posts

    I am so so sorry.

  30. LovelyPlum

    eggplant / 11408 posts

    @HLK208: oh honey, I am so so sorry. Especially with the other kids, I think the predictability of a D&C sounds good.

    Poor B 😳💔

  31. Ra

    honeydew / 7586 posts

    I'm so, so sorry.

  32. lemondrop

    bananas / 9118 posts

    Shit. Honey, I'm so very sorry I was so looking forward to this baby. Big hugs to B, that is heartbreaking. Sending your family lots of good thoughts.

  33. lamariniere

    pineapple / 12566 posts

    Oh no! I'm so sorry for your loss.

  34. MrsRcCar

    grapefruit / 4712 posts

    I am so sorry. 💔💔 I had a D&C about two weeks ago because I was terrified of it happening naturally. It was an easy recovery physically for me as well as mentally. I will be thinking about you and your family. ❤❤❤

  35. Kimberlybee

    grapefruit / 4997 posts

    I am so sorry for your loss. Sending prayers, healing thoughts, and love to your family. Big hugs to you and big brother B.

  36. yerpie110

    nectarine / 2770 posts

    So, so sorry to hear and please know that it was nothing you did! My ob encouraged me to chose a d&c because of sizing (lost mine at 9 weeks). I am glad I did - it was easy and I really hated the thought of having to carry a non viable pregnancy for an unknown period of time. Here's hoping your rainbow baby comes soon

  37. yellowbird

    honeydew / 7303 posts

    @HLK208: I am so, so sorry for your loss. Sending you love and prayers

  38. Nutella

    persimmon / 1045 posts

    I m so sorry for your sad news I had a MMC at 8w, baby had gone at 6.5w. I mulled it over the weekend through lots of tears and decided to go with d&c and it was best decision for me - no pain & seamless recovery. I know it's not the case for everyone, but I did hear that it can be quite painful to pass naturally even at 8w, so I did not want to deal with that as well as being so upset. I felt so much better after the procedure. Emotionally I was drained for many months though I wish you lots of recovery and good thoughts - it's such a crappy time
    PS: I too kept asking 'are you sure?' - was hoping it was a bad dream.

  39. JoJoGirl

    cantaloupe / 6206 posts

    My heart is broken for you. I had a missed miscarriage like you over the summer (no heartbeat at 8 week ultrasound). I opted for a D&C because I wanted over as quickly as possible. I almost asked for a second ultrasound to "double check" but they said it was useless. The procedure was super easy and I got my period back 6 weeks later. The D&C was August 5 and I was pregnant again in December.

  40. Adira

    wonderful pomelo / 30692 posts

    I'm so sorry for your loss.

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