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Today sucks. I feel super depressed and unmotivated. I’m working from home full time but I just can’t get motivated to do much of anything. I psyched myself up to get a project done by lunch and take DS to pick up Panera from the car, then my car wouldn’t start.
I just feel exhausted like I need to take a nap, even though I’m supposed to be working. My mom is still going to work so she doesn’t understand what it like - she even thinks I have it easy. I feel like there’s no end in sight. Even DS seems depressed.
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I'm more worried about what's to come, how much worse things will get, and how many years this could go on for. We'll need antibody tests to more fully assess the situation, but it seems like most public health experts are expecting based on the evidence to date that a relatively low share of the population has been infected and COVID is just really, really deadly.
I don't see a way around this basic reality. A vaccine will take time, treatments for viruses tend not to be magic bullets, presymptomatic and asymptimatic spread make squashing it with contact tracing difficult, and the economy can't be totally shut down for two years or more until there is a vaccine. I just read an article that reflected on pictures of commuters in London with their briefcases walking past bombed out buildings during WWII on their way to work. It concluded that we may just have to learn to live with both fundamental changes to our lives and a higher level of sickness and death to get the economy functioning at some minimum level that's sustainable for the foreseeable future. It will take both the economy and daily life considerable time to return to normal. On some level nothing shocking about that, these sorts of disruptions have been common in many places and times, just not in the post-WWII developed world... And of course I feel guilty that there are people who have it much, much worse than we do...
We are a (half) Asian-American family, so I'm also kind of worried about what sorts of xenophobia this might stir up, especially as the crisis goes on for longer and becomes even more painful for people.
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@periwinklebee: same. Doing ok but it’s crazy to think how disruptive this virus has and will be to the world. I have no idea what to expect next month, next year... it’s hard to picture life in the future- it could range from returning to “normal” to... who knows what?
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@periwinklebee: The racism forwards Asians is just appalling. I’ve been very fortunate to not have encountered obvious racism in my adulthood (and may have been oblivious to subtle cases). Now I am super self conscious if I have to go out
Meanwhile so many Asian Americans have done so much to help with the pandemic. Man, the future is not even something I can think about. You are so right; we can’t just shut down indefinitely; but how do we go on?! I feel like we will be SO stressed worrying about health if we just have to go back to normal at some point without a better grip of this virus.
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@macintosh: the weather this week sucks and makes it even worse! I feel like when it’s nice and we can spend a lot of time outside, everyone is happier.
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@PurplePeony: I am sorry things are so one sided currently! I hope your DH will come around. It’s def a lot for everyone to digest but I do think that all moms are being total rockstars; we jump in and just do what needs to be done
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@PurplePeony: What!? Why won’t he do (close to) full time childcare if he’s not working and you are??
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@PurplePeony: this is insane and completely ridiculous. I’m not working since I can’t besides a couple team meetings during the week so I’m the full time SAHM now, no questions asked.
Sadly I don’t think your situation is that uncommon because of the pervasive gender roles that still dominate our society. As usual, women get the shit end of the stick. Your DH needs to check himself ASAP.
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@PurplePeony: What is your DH doing while you do all of this? You said he essentially isn't working. right?
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@graceandjoy: Uh, I'm really sorry
and yeah, it's going to be really stressful from a health perspective too when things open back up. It's hard to believe that the U.S. will have its act together enough to do testing/contact tracing anywhere on the level of some of the Asian countries, which are themselves struggling...
Meanwhile so many Asian Americans have done so much to help with the pandemic. 
and yeah, it's going to be really stressful from a health perspective too when things open back up. It's hard to believe that the U.S. will have its act together enough to do testing/contact tracing anywhere on the level of some of the Asian countries, which are themselves struggling...
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