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There's the solution of getting her a hotel room of her own. That may be a little too generous, but at least you'd still be the good guy?

It's weird to me. My mom had a similar relationship with my grandma, but my grandma was at LEAST super-excited about my mom's pregnancies. You have my condolences on a cruddy MIL.

I don't really see how that's your problem...? If she can't afford a room, then why are you guys responsible for making sure she has a place to stay? Yes, it would be nice if you could pay for a room (separate!) for her to stay in, but if you don't, then too bad for her--her financial irresponsibility has consequences. And as for her staying in your room, that should not even be considered!

@oliviaoblivia: But if she already doesn't like you...then what more can she do, you know? As long as DH is supporting you (which I hope he is...?) then I think it's time to hold your ground and set boundaries!

@oliviaoblivia: I totally get the obligation thing...but there's a difference between offering a reasonable solution (a cheaper hotel room) and bending over backwards, and his and your expense (letting her stay with you when you guys have this toxic relationship). He needs to be firm, as hard as I'm sure it is for him...because it's not fair to you.

@oliviaoblivia: but it sounds like your mom would never put you guys in this position? And saying no to her doesn't make you a bad guy...she's manipulating you! Grr I don't like her =P

No advice, but wow. Can you make up some sort of excuse.... like you're having bad morning sickness and don't feel comfortable sharing a bathroom with so many people in case you need to run to puke?

@oliviaoblivia: ZOMG. Seriously, it sounds like you've played nice long enough. Good luck.

Yea I would offer to give her the cash equal to a cheaper room and tell her if she wants to stay at a nicer place then she needs to come up with the cash.

@oliviaoblivia: right, would you let your parents stay in a hotel with you? Most of the time, I wouldn't. Your parents also wouldn't treat him or you the way she does. She has made her decision how to treat you and must deal with the consequences. That doesn't mean to be horrible to her but it also doesnt mean doing extra (hotel sharing) for her.

@oliviaoblivia: Do not spend $750 on a room for her! I hate her!
You shouldn't have to deal with this stress. Have your DH tell her it ain't happening. You guys can help with a room (at a cheaper hotel or chip in so she can get her own room, but you need to put your foot down). You guys are going to be a family of 3 soon. You and baby come first!

@oliviaoblivia: I just wanted to say that I feel your pain because I have a monster in law too. Wish I had some good suggestions! I say put your foot down but I know from experience that it doesn't always work. =/ Hope it all works out!

@mrbee: I think you need to have a talk with my husband! His mom sucks!

Ooooo this makes me mad. Do NOT give in. Inform her that you are saving for a baby on the way and simply can not afford to pay for her room, and you are not comfortable sharing. She will either have to come up with a way to pay for herself, or decline the invitation to the wedding. I'm sorry but she is not your husband's responsibility. And she's never going to change her ways if your husband doesn't stop giving in to her every demand. And as some of the others said... she already treats you like crap so it's not like it can get any worse because you said no to her.

UGH, i'm so sorry for you to be in this situation, i'm in the boat that your DH needs to step up and set boundaries. you should NOT have to do this for her. AT ALL. that, in my opinion, does not make you a bad person.

@mrbee: Yes agree. Sorry I was using the royal "you" that OliviaOblivia and her hubs could hopefully show a united front on this..

I can only imagine how difficult it is to try to reason with someone who threatened suicide. At this point, the only suggestion I'd have is family therapy.