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In an ideal world I would *love* three kids (right now we just have one), but I think I'll be lucky to convince DH to try for a second and there's no guarantee that will work out. And so many other practical reasons why I think it's very unlikely that we'll end up with three. I do feel so, so fortunate to have our LO, along with my husband, he's definitely the best thing that has ever happened in my life But that doesn't stop me from occasionally fantasizing that a LO2 would be twins I hope you feel at peace with whatever decision you make soon...

I am very recently in this boat since DD was just born 3 days ago but, since the very beginning, DH has always wanted two and I wanted three. After having one LO, I realized my limitations and needs. For example, I get really resentful when things are unfair (responsibility wise) which would inevitably happen. Right now, DH takes one and I take the other and switch when needed. With a 3rd, it couldn't be that way. I also don't like chaos (neither does my husband) and I am not sure our marriage would be as good with 3. We want to travel, have flexibility, money which all seems easier with 2. TTC sucked both times and I don't want to be pregnant again so there is that. I worry about a 3rd being left out (which a mom of 3 warned me about.)
So there is this part of me that longs for a 3rd in a wistful kind of way, but the logistics/realities make me feel very done.

@snowjewelz: @josina: I’m right there with you guys. Dh is sure he’s done, but I’d love another. I know the fist year with 2 was hard, and things are just starting to get easy again, but still. It doesn’t help that I had very easy pregnancies and births, part of me just can’t quite accept that I’ll never give birth again.

I felt the exact same as you for so long, not sure if I wanted to go for three or be happy with the two I had and move on with life. My youngest turned 3 in August, and that's when I finally felt ready to try for a third. I still feel sometimes like two would be easier, but I know that if I didn't go for the third, I may always wonder what would have been. I hope you can find peace whichever way you decide to go. There's no right or wrong answer - you do what's best for you.

We have decided that we are two and through, although I often think about having a third. There are many rational reasons why I want to be done: I’m 38, I have 2 healthy children, my 2nd pregnancy was high risk and I was in bedrest for part of it, financially having a third would be challenging, we’d need a bigger car, paying for an additional 5 years of daycare would SUCK. But still thoughts of a third crosses my mind. I still don’t actually want a third, but if my IUD failed and I got pregnant, we’d keep the babe and just celebrate the “gift”. I work full time and don’t think I’ve got the personality to handle more on my plate, so we’re not going to actually try. Doesn’t mean I don’t think about it.

@snowjewelz: I have three but I sometimes still can't believe the baby stages are ending as my third is just going through her first year SO FAST! I think it can be a little sad when all these other people are having babies but you are not only done with babies but not to the stage where perks like no more car seats and strollers and all that stuff. No advice here. I don't plan on any more kids and don't even want any more kids right now but I still can't convince myself to take any permanent measures.

@snowjewelz: awww I’m so sorry you are in this position. We just had our 3rd and final baby 3.5 months ago. I have been incredibly sad about being done with having babies. As much as I hate the wake ups and feedings, there’s just something sad about the finality of it all. I have cried so many days about small sleepers, small diapers, baby smells all being done with. I realize how lucky and grateful I am to have 3 amazing girls but it doesn’t change coming to terms with the end of this chapter. ️

@snowjewelz: Mine are 6, 4.5 and 3.5 months. It hasn’t changed a whole lot yet. If anything just slowed us down a notch. I will admit I am a lot more relaxed now that I’m older. It also helps that the two older girls are quite independent.

I felt the same as you and gave myself a “deadline” too. If I don’t get pregnant by the date I will get rid of all baby stuff and close the baby chapter. Well what do you know I got knocked up with number 3 the last day on my deadline.

I’m done with 3, but when I see pictures of newborns my heart just aches a bit. Realistically I’m at peace with 3. But I think a part of me will always just get a bit of sadness at knowing my baby stage is gone. The anticipation and excitement of a new baby is wonderful. And I love my kids so much! In fantasy land, I’d always want another.

I felt like this, I feel like I got thru the sadness of not having another about 6-8 months ago. (I took a long time though.) I was really looking forward to life with just 2 and figured we could revisit a 3rd in a couple years when the kids were older and both in elementary school. But I was so happy to start to think of the vacations and stuff we could do now that they kids aren't babies. But now we have a surprise #3 on board and I have had a hard time with the news, not gonna lie. Its gotten better and the kids are super excited. But now I feel Like I am mourning the loss of the life I thought we were going to have. So crazy.

@crazydoglady: @Alba4: yep, all of these reasons are why we're similarly 99% done at 2 kids. I never really acknowledged my own temperament as a valid consideration until reading both of your responses right now (seriously!). I become really depressed and anxious with household chaos and financial stress that will be pretty intense once #2 starts daycare--and also would love to travel and be comfortable again before I'm 40 freaking years old. Plus, even though pregnancy is amazing and I was grateful to have no complications and easy births, I just don't want to do it again--I am so happy to be getting my body back.