Hellobee Boards

When I was on another site I posted some views that unbeknownst to me were pretty harsh for others. While it wasn't my intention being contacted and warned taught me a lot about the fine line and choosing my words carefully. To me the only thing I would hate to see is the honesty on this site fall away. As you said those unicorns and rainbows can really make it impossible to have a meaningful dialogue. That said I also feel that it's easy for people who let it all hang out like I do or many others to say we don't see bullying but if someone feels threatened or abused and it seems to be a pattern that is exactly the sort of bad apple that can filter out a lot of good people. I personally feel that I can take it but I will say that some people have said some very irrelevant and personal things to me or about me on threads. People also like to gang up and hi five each other which I find tolerable but a little childish and annoying. I personally feel like moderators stepping in at times can be helpful. I don't know what the solution is though. I am all for governing but I also want my freedom and that means allowing others freedom too. I would love if people who don't have constructive contributions, or find me personally offensive would mute me so maybe at the very least it would give people the option to stay without being tempted by those who don't share their views. I wouldn't use it most likely.

I still like the idea of anonymous posting better as an option. That way a user can cherry pick the threads they want to get more objective view points on from those they feel more open about. And I think every person should be allowed to post anything they want so long as it doesn't slander or cross a serious line. Someone might be sick of hearing about drama from someone regarding global warming, their husband or their pet or their unicycle. In my opinion people bothered by that should just avoid the thread.

I like the idea of both features. Not sure if I would use them, but I definitely feel like there are some users that could benefit from both. And once it's in use, I might find myself using either one down the line, who knows?

There are people on FB that I have blocked from all kinds of photos/status updates/etc and for all kinds of reasons--not only because I dislike the people I'm blocking. So I can imagine HB being similar in that regard.

Generally speaking, people don't like change, but once the change happens they adapt.

@photojane: seriously...you'd think people would be able to do that, right? sadly, I see it though I think sometimes temptation is too strong to resist for some. haha!

I personally don't feel a need to ever use these features, but I have seen some comments on here (from repeat offenders) that have made me say to myself, "Oh she better not ever comment like that on my thread" haha. And I'm not talking about disagreeing with a poster, I'm talking full on snark and rudeness. So, I could definitely see the benefits of muting. I think blocking would get awkward.

Meh, how about when someone's being a punk, someone says, "hey. Stop being a douche"

People see stuff but nobody says anything.

Of course, mad turmoil could ensue, too

@blackbird: best response.

@blackbird: ha I have thought that before too!

But I've also seen someone call someone out (that said something truly mean) and a ton of people said "+1!" "I love you!" "High five!" To the poster of the rotten comment Which was almost worse I thought..it was like ganging up.

@blackbird: And that's why I you. Hahaha!

@blackbird: Yeah, I don't think that would be a good turn out. But of course, I'd love to watch it.

@blackbird: Love.

Maybe a poll would be helpful to get even anonymous opinions? I say yay to Mute and nay to block.

@blackbird: yep.

I don't think this will help the issue. I won't use it and it'll get ugly really quickly. Those who bully are obvious. They should be warned or removed.

@CupQuakeWalk: I think problem is that whatever bullying is happening isn't obvious. Clearly, since so many people on this thread have said they haven't ever noticed bullying. It's also very subjective. One person could look at a thread and say wow, responders are really ganging up on that poor OP. Whereas someone else might look at the exact same thread and say "wow, why did that OP post such an obviously inflammatory thread? Are they just trying to stir the pot? What kind of response did they expect?". I think this is the motivation behind @mrbee: suggesting this system because it removes the need for an admin to make a judgement call that someone else might totally disagree with. (I still don't love the idea of these features, just acknowledging that moderation is hard because people read into thing differently).

@sorrycharlie: I think it is worse too. It's unnecessary and childish.

I am a little surprised as i haven't noticed any bullying. I think the mute is a good option, don't know if i can say the same about the blocking feature though.

It's a shame that these features need to be implemented but I guess you have to do what you need to in order to protect your growing business. This is the nicest parenting site that I have encountered on the internet and I hope it continues to be. It still has that "friendly, caring, hometown" feel to it that I hope doesn't go away. So many posters really share so much of themselves and valuable information with us.

Many of us have strong opinions about certain topics but labeling it as "bullying" is a bit extreme. Some users can bring a lot of drama but at the end of the day, it's just an online community and not real life. Any time a poster brings up a controversial topic, the OP should expect a flood of controversial, conflicting, and different opinions and not get offended if the responses do not match your own. HelloBee has been a good source for me on parenting issues so I do hope you are able to maintain this site for a long, long time. Whatever you decide, I hope it doesn't drive the price up too much.

@yoursilverlining: I know of at least two regular posters who left because of bullying, so it definitely happens.

Hey. Guys. This is the INTERNET and we are GROWN UPS.

I don't believe either of the features are even remotely necessary.

I echo others that think these features are unnecessary.

I agree with @LovelyPlum: perhaps the community policies need to be better defined.

@mrbee: The community policies do say to be civil and no personal attacks. Do you feel like the instances you've seen of "bullying" actually HAVE been civil and weren't personal attacks?