so my cousin has come up the 13 year old girl she is here until september 1st, but i have a question i really dont want to hurt her feelings at all but she stinks horribly, i dont want to just be like hey you smell please go take a shower all i have said is there is a towel in the bathroom for you i put in there if you want to take a shower and she said i will tommrow but keps putting it off, how in the world can i tell her without hurting her feelings just bad B.O. dont want people to make fun of her.
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Have an honest chat with her. Better it come from you than a random stranger. Buy her a school kit they sell at a bunch of places with the nice smelling soaps and deoderant etc
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I would just tell her, please go take a shower before we go to xyz.
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You're going to hurt her feelings or at least embarrass her.
I would bring it up when you are alone with her and when she has time to do something about. Don't tell her when she's about to walk out the door. I would I also tell her at this age she needs to take daily showers and use deodorant.
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it's possible that no one's told her that once you hit puberty your pits start to stink. I would talk to her in private, telling her that now she needs to shower every day, maybe buy her some deodorant and body wash?
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Oh gosh... that's such a difficult situation. I agree with the suggestions above - I do think you will need to be honest with her. How awful. Good luck.
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I would gift her some fun body wash and deodorant. Say you saw some of this at Justice (or wherever the cool, happening places are these days haha hard to keep up!) and thought she might like it! Maybe casually mentioning that while washing your hair everyday isn't a must- being a teenager, the showers should happen every day.
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Wow---reading your post was tough with no periods
I'd just tell her. Sometimes blab any honesty is best. "Hey- were leaving. You need to shower. Meet you in the car in 20." Bottom line.
She is old enough to start taking care of herself and paying attention to personal hygiene. -
I'm surprised her mother hasnt talked to her about good hygiene. When I hit puberty my mom and sister gave me the hygiene talk especially about sweaty underarms, using anti perspirant and taking thorough showers
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thank you everyone it is a tough situation but i will have to just sit down and talk to her, i gave her body washes and shampoos even loctions and deodorants but she still doesn't seem to use any of it much finally got her to get a shower this morning but i know tommrow or tonight i will have to talk to her about it i just don't think her mom ever showed her how, they are very poor, but i still dont understand it really.
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Have a spa day together? Do her hair, nails, makeup- make her feel pretty then maybe share about how when you were her age things started changing and you totally needed and wanted to shower every day, feel good about your hygiene/appearance , etc
Good luck! If not, let her mom/parental guardian know your thoughts and perhaps they can help her out!
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I agree w/ PPs that a talk is in order. I think you should be candid but in a thoughtful , nonjudgmental way. It sounds like nobody taught her about proper hygiene.
Oh and I agree w/ @TurtleDoves: that it's really tough to read w/out punctuation!
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my mom bought be deodorant and said you're old enough to use this.
It would be fun to bring her to bath and body works and say pick out some bath products after you have the talk.
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I think that you need to talk to her as well. It is much better that you do this, then have her get made fun of at school. My mom sat me down one day and told me I needed to start using deodorant. It didn't hurt my feelings, she kind of framed it with the whole conversation of getting older and sometimes showering daily isn't enough, etc.
Maybe you could just have a conversation with her about how your hygiene needs change when you hit puberty, and give her some deodorant, soap, bath gel, etc. Her mom obviously hasn't had this talk with her yet, but it needs to happen!
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thanks all you Ladies! i am going to have the talk with her today, lets hope it goes well! i'll just be as nice as i can about it, hats all i can do, i took her to bath and body and she picked out like 2 things just hasn't used them so hopefully she does after today :),
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