Hellobee Boards

@periwinklebee: just wanted to say you’re doing great, it’s so hard with your first! And also my second slept on the boppy lounger until 5 months

@periwinklebee: I have very much cried in the shower while my daughter cried in the next room bc I had given all I had to give and she still wanted more. It's ok

My DS was like this and we ended up co-sleeping for the first few months. Those first few weeks are the worst for wanting to be held, so know that it is a phase and it will get better.

With my DD I was able to let her fall asleep on me and once she was *really* asleep I was able to move her to the PnP.

@periwinklebee: For gas, this helped us alot:

1) Standing them up on your lap. For some reason, that helped both my kids let out big nice belches. And it was by the far the easiest, most effective way to burp them.

2) When you burp them up against your shoulder, thumping in an upwards motion on the LEFT side of their back.

3) Basically alternate the 2 methods until they burp.

@periwinklebee: My goal was always to get him to sleep on his own, so I started pretty early if not right away. I'd nurse him to sleep at the beginning of the night and put him next to me. Then at his first wake up I'd nurse him again and when he seemed deep asleep I'd put him in the PnP next to the bed. At first he'd mostly wake up. So I'd give it 2-3 tries and if he wouldn't stay asleep I'd bring him back to our bed.

I did that for every waking - nurse then give it 2-3 chances to settle in the PnP. It got to a point where it was easier and easier, especially at the beginning of the night. The end of the night, when the drive to sleep is less, was more difficult.

By 6 months we had him sleep in his own crib and sleep trained him with CIO around 7m.

@periwinklebee: You just hold them under their armpits and just kinda stand them up on your lap, like they're hanging there. You don't have to pat them, just the act of sorta standing/hanging straight seems to help let the gas come up.

@gingerbebe: @periwinklebee: my pp doula also told me a trick where you slowly lift them up above your head and lower them back down a few times. Like holding under their armpits. Something about the up and down brings the gas to the top and we got some burps out that way. I would do that a few times and then go back to patting the back.

Also if it’s trapped farts I’ve heard great things about the windi! I haven’t ever used it but just got some for baby 2 when he’s here since they get rave reviews.

@periwinklebee: how long is he spending awake at a time?

@periwinklebee: Unless you think he needs to eat for medical reasons I would try to break the overtired and wired cycle you seem to be in and let him fall asleep at the boob and hold him for a good 2-3 hour nap. THEN feed as soon as he wakes up and hopefully he will be rested enough to fully nurse. And then from that do the EASY routine making sure he is going back to bed at the 45 min mark, and really trying HARD not to nurse to sleep.

That’s what I would do if it were me, knowing what I know now. Seems like he’s in an endless cycle of overtirdness which leads to falling asleep while nursing which leads to incomplete nursing/snacking all day and night, which leads to continuing to be overtired and so on.

You COULD also try to do a bottle of formula instead of the boob. Or BM if you are pumping. Nursing is great but if it’s impacting your mental health and hurting other aspects of infant care (sleep for them is SO important) then it might be worth considering other options. I’m in the “happy mom, happy baby” camp, regardless of what it is that makes you happy.

Hang in there mama, it’s so hard but it will get easier.

@periwinklebee: you've gotten a lot of advice already but in my experience with two kids, I don't think trouble napping in a particular way necessarily dictates trouble sleeping at night (independently or otherwise). I held both of my kids for most naps in the early days - I started one nap a day in either the swing or crib starting around 3/4 weeks - and both slept in a flat bassinet from the second night home. Unless your LO has days and nights mixed up, there's more of a natural drive to sleep at night than during the day, so night sleep can be easier to "fix" than daytime sleep. Obviously you don't want your LO to be up all day, but if you're getting him to nap for a chunk of time after appropriate awake time, don't worry about the length of the nap so much. If you can extend a nap with feeding or whatever, great, but try not to sweat it if not. If it were me, I'd pick one "naptime" a day (obviously with a baby this young you don't have set times) and work on attempting the swing/crib/bassinet at that time. Then you have a plan -- "for his 10am nap, I will attempt the swing/crib/bassinet for at least X time" -- and it won't feel like every single naptime is an opportunity to "fail" at putting him down. Not saying you are failing at all -- babies just have their own agenda despite our most careful plans!! -- but this is how I felt with my first and how I fixed that mindset with my second.

Also, like many others have said, both of my kids resisted the swaddle at first but slept so much better once we swaddled them. In addition to the swaddleup which I loved with LO2, we really liked the velcro swaddleme swaddles. My DH was way better at getting the swaddle tight enough so they couldn't bust out, for what it's worth!

Finally, my main goal would be to get him sleeping independently (in bassinet) for at least the first chunk of overnight sleep. What time are you trying to start "bedtime"? Both of my kids had their newborn witching hours/cluster feeding from like 7-10pm -- they just nursed and snoozed from that time so I'd park it on the couch and watch TV while DH cooked/did chores/etc. I had much more success getting them to sleep in the bassinet when we matched the "bedtime" to the conclusion of that time. Both naturally moved their bedtimes earlier around 8-10 weeks and getting them down earlier got sooo much easier. (And once you get your evenings back, you feel more human.)