I was at a professional development meeting today at the Barnes and Nobles on the upper east side of Manhattan. There must of been a book reading for children or something because I saw dozens of children with their nannies. I was in the bathroom and one of the nanny came in with a little girl to change her diaper. I don't know if I am being too sensitive but she didn't seem like she was very kind to the little girl. She was a bit rough in my opinion, when she was changing her diaper and when she was wiping her. The little girl kept whimpering a bit... She looks about 2 years old... It made me very sad to see that and I can't imagine having my LO being with a stranger. A friend of mine used to care for his son during the week (his line of work, he was able to get the weekdays off and alternate with his wife's schedule) and he would bring him to the parks in Manhattan, he said that he would see nannies just sit around, chat with each other and ignore the kids... It's so hard to find someone you can trust with your child!
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Barnes and Noble is famous as a gathering place for kinda mean nannies... I don't know why that it is, but I've heard this again and again online!
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@mrbee: I didn't know that! It was definitely an eye opener for me today... and I am just so thankful we have our parents around to help out!
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@mrbee: what? All the mean nannies meet up? That is kind of scary.
I have seen many nannies in the city pay absolutely no attention to the kids. Lots of talking on the phone. My daughter goes to daycare for that reason. I have to work and we have no family around. But I like daycare because there are lots of eyes and ears. Plus no one would ever be doing personal things while taking care of my LO.
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@Andrea That's exactly why I like daycare over nannies too... Lots of eyes and ears and a variety of caretakers.
however, after DD got sick a lot from daycare we did give having a nanny a try... twice. But deep down, I honestly didn't trust them fully and always had my guard up. DD went back to daycare/preschool as soon as possible. And now that we have two LOs, I'm staying home partially because the cost of two in daycare is so high, but mostly because I can't ever have a nanny for my children again. The worry I have when away at work, plus never really knowing the nanny... You're right, they are basically strangers... It's just not worth it to us.
I see nannies like this all the time too at Barnes, the library, and parks. They congregate everywhere in my neighborhood. Very sad. On our local listserv though, moms report to each other if they see any neglect going on. There's also a blog called "I Saw Your Nanny" where people can post stories and pics anonymously.
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@NYCaliMama: same here! I did give 2 nannies a try since I was worried about my LO being too young for daycare but I was not satisfied so I started her in daycare and luckily it has been positive from the start. But she did get sick in the beginning. It seems to be better now so I think they do build up their immune systems after being in daycare for a bit.
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This is very sad. My nanny will start in 3 months ... cross my fingers that she is good. I plan to do a lot of surprise drop bys and ensure they have 'visitors'.
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@EmmeBaby: Charlie had a great nanny, and Olive's nanny will start soon! Great nannies definitely do exist!!
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@Andrea: Oops, didn't mean to suggest that mean nannies meet up at b&n! Just that, a number of nannies go there with their kids and then look at stuff for themselves while they ignore the kids.
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@mrbee: whew, ok! i was envisioning scenes out of Mean Girls except this would be Mean Nannies!
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Since there are no daycares in the west 70's where I live, there are nannies everywhere and whenever I take the day off from work or work from home I see everything people have described in this chain. It's rare to see a nanny walking around pushing a stroller without being on a cellphone. I personally think that's somewhat dangerous and for the amount they're being paid they can wait until they're at home and the baby is napping to make calls. And they do meet up all the time in Riverside park and totally ignore the kids. They usually park the strollers together then congregate in a separate group nearby. Its one thing for the parents to do that, but if you're being paid to watch the child then watch the darn child!!
I think daycare is a good solution, but even a nanny share might help as well. If they're being held accountable by more than one set of parents, they have twice as many eyes on them and might shape up a bit.
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@EmmeBaby: surprise drop-in visits are good! i think as long as parents are very involved and choose their nanny well, it can be a wonderful type of childcare to provide for one's child.
i didn't get so lucky with our 2 nannies... maybe my standards are way too high, i don't know. but i do know that not ALL nannies are like what was mentioned in the original post and in @Modern Daisy's post, but it is hard to find those gems. If one has an excellent nanny or family that they can trust with childcare, it's a blessing!
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I would never be able to trust a nanny, and I AM a nanny! I've seen more good nannies than bad nannies, but I can't help to have those bad nannies stick out in my mind though. I will be staying home with our son for a while after he is born. When I decide to go back to work, we will put him in a daycare.
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Sorry, I didn't mean to scare anyone or sound too negative with my post! I also see lots of good nannies, but of course the bad ones stick out the most. And they could be doing much worse things than talking on a phone for sure. Who knows, maybe the parents don't mind that. I'm sure they get 'caught' since it's not like there is much privacy in the city!
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