I am lucky enough to have a full time nanny for my two year old. I also have a seven week old that she is theoretically responsible for given that we gave her a raise when he was born. So far, however, we just tag team and one of us has a child at any given time. I am wondering how people divided responsibilities with the newborn while on maternity leave. I am breastfeeding a lot and my infant is high needs with reflux. But I am finding it difficult to not get any breaks or meet a few work deadlines I do have because the nanny is dealing with the toddler. She seems nervous to have both since the newborn can be screaming his head off and is a bear to put down. Also, if I handed over the baby to her, then she couldn't take my son outside or to preschool and the newborn has been sick a lot. Any advice or experience? She is otherwise a dream nanny. I am just wondering how common it is to stick the nanny with a newborn right away.
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I think if you're paying her (and especially if you gave her a raise already) you should be able to expect her to do anything that's needed for the kids. Why can't she bundle up the newborn in the stroller and take them both outside? Also, I'd want her to specifically get more experience with the baby so that I'd feel comfortable going back to work and leaving her with both of them.
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I think there's an element of needing to toss her in (kindly!) I think I would give her a heads up that tomorrow you're going to ask her to take both for an hour in the morning and an hour in the afternoon or something to that effect. That way she mentally prepare herself and if need be get certain things together- a craft for your toddler or laying out the winter clothes. I assume as some point she's going to have both at the same time so I think I would just get the ball rolling now.
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If you are paying her for both then she should be able to handle both. She will learn to manage both of them after a few days, it will just be an adjustment period. You can just tell her that you want to start transitioning so she can get used to it before you go back to work, so could she take the baby for x hours a day while you work on some stuff.
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@Cole: I like this approach
I also agree there's no reason she can't take the newborn outside in the stroller bundled up. When R was a tiny baby we did all sorts of things with his older brother. Of course you might hesitate because of sickness but definitely she could do things with them in small doses.
I worry about this a little too as I have a part time (30h) a week nanny. In the fall both kids will be in school some and her hours won't be cut. I'll use her for when the baby is here and I need an extra hand. She'll also help more with house stuff. And because I am part time and don't have maternity benefits I plan to work around 10 hours a week pretty soon after the baby is here, so I can at least cover her salary. So she will be expected to help/cover for me during those 10 hours.
If you don't feel comfortable delegating baby's needs to get yet, I would ask her to pitch in more around the house!
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4 comments