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@hellocupcake: I have torn apart my bed like 4 times and even replaced the sheets last week. But I did read online that this girl had ripped her bed apart like me and then a week later she rolled over and there it was, in her bed. It is just so weird how this stuff happens!
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My mom's diamond fell out of her ring while she was changing sheets and we found it behind the bed. Have you checked back / under there?
I get super overwhelmed looking for stuff like this. It can drive you crazy! I would choose one room per day and focus on every single inch.
I really hope it turns up!!!
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@charlotte: glad she found it!
My bed and around it is what makes the most sense to me so I have scoured it. I just hope it's one of these weird stories where it shows up in a place I looked a million times! -
@Mrs. Pickle: no luck
What's weird is that our filter had NOTHING in it! Not a coin or hair elastic. We just moved in a month ago so maybe it was cleaned out.
Either way, no ring. -
My friend lost her wedding band and couldn't find it for months. She recently found it lodged into one of her dog's pillow beds when she was vacuuming it. She has no idea how it got there. I hope you find your ring!
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@Boopers: Ah thank you! I love these stories!
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@SweetiePie: so sorry! I hate that sinking feeling, I thought I lost mine last year when LO was s few weeks old - I normally only take rings off and straight into the ring holder...but one time I took them off while I was putting on moisturiser, and put them around the pump part of the dispenser (without thinking)....& then freaked out thinking I had lost them. Got my mum & DH involved, until I found it right next to my bed on the bottle, where I had put it without thinking. So hoping yours is also somewhere really close by?! Sorry if this doesn't help
- good luck! Xx
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@SweetiePie: I once lost a ring given to me by my parents for my 16th birthday (or maybe it was graduation?). I found it many years later... maybe 10 years later, in a small pocket of a gym bag I never ever used (but must have used once).
Maybe you could invite some friends over to help you search every pocket and every nook and cranny?! They might search places that you've skipped over thinking it can't possibly be there.
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Ugh sorry girl that is just so awful.
Was the nanny around between the time you put your son to bed and left the house the next day? If so, I would totally suspect her, given the sunglasses and most importantly asking for money. Did you end up giving/loaning her the $1,000?
I asked DH and he said he would suspect the nanny too and just file a police report, make a claim with insurance, and let the nanny go. But he said he wouldn't say it was because of the ring. While it would suck if it turned out the nanny really didn't do it, he didn't see how anyone could be comfortable around her after that. And he would put cameras in all the rooms before bringing the next person on.
We also thought that if there was any money borrowing involved, if it were us we would just cancel the debt and make it a gift/bonus to her and count it as severance. Again, while it would suck to fire an innocent person you love, DH thinks of it as a security issue. If you ARE being stolen from then it could invite other dangers into your life and it's just not worth it. In the same vein, thank God you guys are safe and this is just a thing that disappeared instead of a mugging or something.
I'll pray it's just in the house somewhere!!! Can you check your drain catches? (Like the u bend under the sink?). Or under/behind your toilets? Your kitchen cabinets? Maybe it's inside a cup or bowl or mug? A kitchen drawer? Baby bottle drying rack? Diaper bag? Does Z have a snack catcher it might be inside? Diaper caddy, wipes container? I would also look super carefully along your kitchen counter, floor beneath your cabinets, and under all your appliances. Those things can blend in with your counter or gadgets easily. Coffee can? Sponge rack? Silverware? Wallet? Change purse? Couch cushions? Floor around the coffee table? Vacuum? Make up bag? Some container with your hair ties? Hairbrush drawer? Medicine cabinet? Laundry hampers. Toy bins? Book shelf? Inside a book you were reading? Inside a pillowcase? Jewelry rack, jewelry box, car? Is it remotely possible your husband took it to get you some sweet upgrade as a birthday or anniversary?
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@SweetiePie: sending you all the most positive ring finding vibes I can muster! I don't wear my rings at home at all (actually I rarely wear them to work either), and it just gives me the heebie-jeebies at the thought of losing them. Another suggestion might be get your vaccuum or dust-buster out, put a pantyhose on the end of the house and try get into any nooks and crannies it may have found itself in (like under/behind the bed etc) the pantyhose will keep it from getting sucked up into the hose. other than that, pray to whoever is the saint of finding lost things!!
the nanny situation does make me suspicious as well. I'd be setting up cameras around the place if you're keeping her on for now, just incase anything else goes walkabouts. that, and facebook/social media stalk her incase any interesting tidbits come up.
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I am so sorry this happened to you:(
I lost a very expensive bracelet a few months back and I was devastated. I retraced my steps and called everywhere I had been and was just SICK over it. I had been over at my neighbor's house briefly, but I even emailed her and asked her if by chance it had fallen off in her house. She didn't see it anywhere and I was soooo depressed. Well a week later she emails me that her husband was doing edging in their yard and found my bracelet in the crevice between the pavement and the grass. I guess it somehow fell off when I was loading DD into the car and slipped into that crack.
It was so unbelievable that it actually was found! I know it's not an engagement ring, but just wanted to give encouragement that if you keep looking and keep hope, it could still turn up!
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@SweetiePie: I've sent up a prayer to St. Anthony for you!
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@gingerbebe: Thanks for all of the ideas, friend. I've looked in most of them but I'll check out ones I haven't.
In regards to the nanny, I keep thinking that I know it seems like it's logical and possible, but my heart just can't let me believe it. She is a Christian woman which is one of the reasons I hired her. One of the first things we did together was pray. She is so active in her church, weekly bible study, usher, choir. She reads "my first bible" to Z.
I overpaid her once by $10 by accident and she brought the $10 back to me the following week once she realized it.
We keep a drawer that has about $50 in 5's and singles for delivery tips and she's never taken from it once. I've given her cash for the grocery store and she's always brought it back to me with a receipt and down to the cent in change. Even just last week I had left $10 in the stroller console/organizer and she brought it to me saying she didn't want me to lose it.
Oh and I gave her a small advance once ($100) and when I went to pay her I forgot and included the $100. She told me right away "remember you already paid me $100". She could have easily kept her mouth shut.
She isn't a greedy person, I tell her all the time I will buy whatever she wants for lunch and all she ever asks for is PB, bread, and occasionally frozen veggie burgers and she'll just eat that and be happy.
Most importantly, I've seen and heard her many times when she didn't know I was around and she is in love with our son. She is so caring and tells him she loves him all the time. She is always laughing and singing to him. It is just SO hard to believe she could do something like that knowing all of the above.
I just can't fire someone without proof. I'll keep tabs on my stuff more closely, but if I fired her and then a week later found my ring Id feel so, so terrible.
I also just hired her full time, she quit her other job last week so she could work for us when I go back to work next week.
We did end up lending her that money, about a week before the ring went missing. So it sounds like "she was hard up, of course she stole it", but does it make sense to ask for a loan, get the loan, then a week later steal from us?
My sister is cynical and said that all of this could be calculated and she'd seen my ring laying out for months and had been planning it. That even a Christian woman can be desperate and justify actions for their own benefit. But, I just can't imagine.... And I'm not mad AT ALL that you went down this road, it's a thought I've had too. But each time I think "could she?" I am flooded with all the reasons above. Either there's no way she did this, or she is the best con artist on the planet.
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@PrincessBaby: Thank you for this story! Praying this ring is in a random crevice!
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I lost a ring in a box of Kleenex on my nightstand once.
I really hope it turns up. -
@FannyMae: Same! Ugh, I never wear my rings at home! Hardy at all, just if I'm going to a dinner or event or something where I'll dress up.
I'm just in shock. The only reason I put it on that day is because I was going to the jeweler who made the ring to get my wedding band resized! It's been 3 years so I thought that if I wore my engagement ring it'll help her remember who I am. Obviously she wasn't even in that day, the shop was closed. So I wore it for nothing.
I came back that day and we had baby-proofers take care of our apartment but I wore the ring the whole time. I had my engagement ring on my hand and my wedding band on my necklace since it was too smal for my hand but I needed to take t to the jeweler.
Long after babyproofers left I still had both rings on.
After putting my son to bed I came in my room and what's weird is I distinctly remember taking the wedding band off of my necklace. And it's right next to me now in tbe ring holder. I would imagine this is also when I took off the engagement ring from my finger since o never wear it to bed. But it's just GONE. I don't remember even taking it off. But I have ripped apart my bedroom to no avail.
I'm just beside myself. Like you I never wear it at home for no reason. I wore it that day and I just don't understand why I can't remember! It's like I was zapped to forget! -
@oliviaoblivia: Yep, I did that! Looked in every tissue box.
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@Nutella: Thank you! I keep hoping I just did something really bizarre. I was actually fightin with DH that night (nothing major but a heated discussion about something) so I keep thinking I was distracted and did something weird with it. But I can't remember for the life of me.
@78h2o: good idea about friends! If I put it somewhere really random I might never think to look there! We can drink some wine and watch Bachelor Pad too, make it worth their while
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@looch:
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@SweetiePie: If it makes you feel any better, I don't think it was your nanny
When I was in my 20s I used to work for a very high-end catering company as a waitress for weddings. I was in grad school (at Harvard) at the time. People accused us of stealing stuff they lost EVERY. SINGLE. WEDDING. we catered. It was amazing!! People always misplace purses, champagne glasses, wallets etc when they are drunk and happy and have no pockets and leave stuff around. Every weekend we were accused. The stuff always turned up. It was always laughable to us because we were all highly educated, up-standing young adults working through school or a 2nd job who knew better than to STEAL! But people didn't know that about us. If that makes sense.I just say this to drive the point home that often in-home helpers are the LAST ONES who will think to steal things - they know better than you do that it would destroy their career, and that they are the first ones people look to when things go missing. I just don't think someone who is that invested in your life would be driven to something so.. predictable? Just my two cents
I hope it turns up.ETA: I know you aren't accusing her, I'm just thinking of the whole situation from her perspective!
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I'm so sorry
I am terrible at looking for things when they are lost. The only thing I can think of - can you hire a company to do a deep clean? Tell them about the ring and if they find it, you will give them some kind of reward?
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Saying a prayer to St. Anthony for you
When I was in high school I wore 4 rings all day everyday 2 were junk, but the other 2 were my class ring and my gold initial ring. I went to the beach with some friends late at night and the humidity had made my finger swell so I took them off and tied them to the drawstring of my pants like i did for gym class (all the time with no issue in the past). We were goofing off, climbing up and down the life guard stand, walking back to the house I realized my rings were gone. I was so upset... I had to call my parents and tell them what happened, we went back to the beach with flashlights. My friend and I woke up at 5am when the sun came up and we went back to the beach before the beach combing machines and just dug through the sand. After about 45 minutes we found all four rings.
Could you rent a metal detector?
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Oh man! This sucks majorly!!!! Really hoping you find it soon.
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I am so sorry, losing something valuable is such an awful feeling! DH lost his wedding ring a few years ago. We looked absolutely everywhere for it...trash, fireplace, couches, cars, etc. I even (in my mind) for a couple moments wondered if someone very close to use could have taken it (this person was going through a tough time). Anyhow, months later DH was cleaning out the fireplace yet again and there it was. It had been burned repeatedly during the winter but only needed a little cleaning. He must have missed it the other times he had looked there for the ring. So, it's possible to turn up...I hope/pray yours does!
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@SweetiePie: I have USAA, and apparently they don't replace rings the same way as other insurance companies, so they didn't write us a check. They have an in-house gemologist and their own source of diamonds. They couldn't get my exact band, so I did end up going through the jeweler where we bought my rings to replace the band. They sent me stones to look at and ultimately I got one that was very similar in grade to my original. Actually, the new diamond is slightly better than the original
Even though my ring was insured for a lot more than DH paid for it, I didn't make anything off the transaction and I wasn't able to "upgrade" other than the slightly better clarity of the new diamond. It's my understanding that other insurance companies will just write a check. I do hope that yours turns up though, so you don't have to go through the hassle!
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@Caly: @Chillybear: thank you for your stories! I read so much about these things just appearing places you've already looked so it is giving me hope.
@daniellemybelle: I've thought that too! I am going to look up companies that do that sort of thing. I also have a cleaning lady every other week, I might ask her to come an extra day and just search while she's doing a deep cleaning.
@JoJoGirl: Thank you for this! I really know in my heart of hearts she couldn't do this, it's just so easy when you're so desperate to let your mind wander to "what if".
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@Pancakes: Thank you! I would never even dream of getting an upgrade, I would want exactly what I already had. Ugh, it was so expensive and my husband keeps saying "there's no way they'll give us the full amount", but isn't that the whole point???
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@SweetiePie: not an insurance expert but I would think so! My premium goes up every year because they increase the value of the ring by at least inflation ....
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I didn't read all of the responses, but have you checked the pockets of the clothes you were wearing that day? Your washing machine or dryer? I'm notorious for putting my rings in my pocket and forgetting that they're there.
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I lost my engagement ring the night of my bachelorette party (seriously)...I was panicking...I kept telling my sister I was not going back home until I found it.
We tore the bed apart, every drawer in the room I stayed (at her house), even check in the dog beds and what not in case they found it and were chewing on it.
Right before I was going to have to just leave we saw a small decorative cube on the dresser in the guest room - we opened it and there it was. Apparently I thought that was a safe place in my altered state. All in all it was about 7 hours without it and complete terror.
I so hope you have a happy ending...
FWIW - my mom has found misplaced jewelry in the following places: fridge and freezer, washing machine drain, makeup bags, bathroom drawers and car cupholders.
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@SweetiePie: so sorry you lost your ring! Have you asked others to look? Sometimes a new set of eyes helps! They might find it in a place you already looked
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@SweetiePie: with regard to insurance - you can check your policy and see if it is based on purchase price or replacement cost? DH got a bit of a deal with my ring (maybe 10% off) so I made sure it was insured for replacement cost not what DH paid!
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I'm so sorry. Not nearly the same in value or sentiment. But we bought our girl diamond earrings (small and cheap'ish). She somehow got one out in her crib. Over 2 years later and we still haven't found it. Somedays I think she ate it! I know you didn't eat your ring, but I hope it turns up soon.
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Can you enlist your nanny/cleaning people to help find it and offer a reward as incentive?
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Were you wearing blue jeans? What about that small fifth pocket?
Eta: I wasn't suggesting your nanny definitely did it earlier, btw! Just that you could check around to give you some peace of mind without accusing her. But I do like the idea of offering her a reward in case it comes up! That way if she did make a bad choice, she would have an easy out.
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@jedeve: totally! I thought of this and offered last night. I thought she could be incentivized to look or to give it back and then I can make a judgement call.
But she said "of course I'll look and I wouldn't dream of taking your money if it's found". -
@SweetiePie: based in your previous experiences with her, I would be surprised if the nanny did it too.
My parents once lost some rare/valuable coins and after searching everywhere, came to the conclusion that my babysitter must have taken them. They stopped asking her to come, even though they had no proof. About 5 years later, when we were packing for a move, the coins were found. My parents said they felt bad they had thought the sitter had taken them all those years.
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@SweetiePie: I'm sorry, I totally understand.
Its such a gross feeling. Its just hard not to think about because your son is involved with her you know? Like if she was hard up on money and someone knew she worked for you, etc.BUT I truly truly understand. Someone took my wedding bouquet at my reception and there were only 60 guests at our wedding. I had it in my hands but was saying goodbye to some guests so I set it down and when I turned around my bouquet was gone. I thought my mom took it to save for me but she said she didn't have it. I paid a fortune for the bouquet of my dreams and to this day I'm sad about it but I forced myself to not ask our guests all these years because I didn't want to know who took it and feel resentful towards them forever. And that was just a bouquet! The fact that you are choosing to be trusting over such a big thing shows what a good heart you have.
Again, I'm so sorry.
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@SweetiePie: I agree with @daniellemybelle! Hire a deep cleaning company and have them search for it. I have a woman who cleans for me every other week, and every time I lose a piece of jewelry (or DS steals and hides it), she finds it for me. She's like a jewelry-finding expert at this point. And I don't think it was the nanny. She sounds way too honest, and I know how easy it is to lose a piece of jewelry.
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When I was pregnant with my first, I misplaced my engagement ring - I swelled a lot that summer and it was uncomfortable to wear. It was missing for at least a month, I tore the house apart looking for it. Eventually I found it inside the key box hanging on a key holder. I can't figure out how it would end up by the front door in that box, since we never use the thing.
I've misplaced a special piece of jewelery recently, I swore I looked everywhere it was bothering me so much that I couldn't find it - eventually I had nowhere left to look and I was devastated, I sat and prayed and I had a feeling it was somewhere that I had already looked, thinking it was impossible I went and looked again - and it was there. Nothing is impossible and I really do think you'll find your ring.
What's weird is that our filter had NOTHING in it! Not a coin or hair elastic. We just moved in a month ago so maybe it was cleaned out.
When I was in my 20s I used to work for a very high-end catering company as a waitress for weddings. I was in grad school (at Harvard) at the time. People accused us of stealing stuff they lost EVERY. SINGLE. WEDDING. we catered. It was amazing!! People always misplace purses, champagne glasses, wallets etc when they are drunk and happy and have no pockets and leave stuff around. Every weekend we were accused. The stuff always turned up. It was always laughable to us because we were all highly educated, up-standing young adults working through school or a 2nd job who knew better than to STEAL! But people didn't know that about us. If that makes sense.
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