Hellobee Boards

Couple questions:

-Are you comfortable being available on an as needed basis? (prior to returning from whatever "leave" you take)
-Do you feel you have good trust/commitment established with them?
-Is this a job you really love and plan to commit to long term?
-How is your relationship with the President?
-Have you had any reviews since taking the stretch role?

I was in a similar position and I'm going to be blunt here... my work would have never allowed me that long. I did not qualify for FMLA (3 people firm) and they offered me 8 weeks (paid) and I took it. It was short and I hated it, but we made it work. I did have the opportunity to work from home part-time after that, but that's about it.

I would just be prepared for them to only offer you 6 or 8 weeks, honestly. My work is EXTREMELY kind to me (I was on bed rest and they worked with me), but as an employer, I understood that he didn't feel he could just have an absent employee for that long. I also ended up having to make several calls during my maternity leave. Working for a small company is awesome in a lot of ways, but really sucks in others (like not having FMLA).

I would tell them the earliest you feel comfortable so you can all start thinking and planning.

Congratulations!

Just a note to say I was really thankful that I was able to take 12 weeks off and then return FT. Many women can't even do that. 6-8 weeks seems short to me, but 12 was great. Going back FT though was a basic 8-5 with time for pumping so there wasn't stress besides being away from baby.

However, I would obviously ask for the 12 weeks off and then adjust down to 8 weeks off if they push back. If you talk about PT from home, I would be clear up front that you would have child care for those hours.

So....

I think knowing all of this I would encourage you to sit down with the president and have a discussion about what he is comfortable with while setting clear parameters about what you are comfortable with...

I think understanding what he is comfortable with will be huge and letting him know you want to be available and help as much as you can within reason.

Personally...(I am going on leave any day now)...I have an arrangement with my boss where she will keep me cc'd on emails where necessary/valuable. She knows she can solicit help from me - but also respects not to abuse it. I have a nice relationship built up with her - she only bothers me on personal time when she needs something and I help when she asks - knowing she respects my family time. I think this is the best hope you can have - that you can stay one foot in to keep an eye on things, prove your commitment (even if you are personally mixed - let them feel you are 100% there) while still getting the time you need.

My personal approach is no meetings for sure (unless just a call internally) for 4-6 weeks. After that I have indicated I am open to discussing circumstances but I have made it clear I will not be returning on a regular basis until 10-12 weeks.

With my first - I went back at 10w 4 days a week. With this one - I have thought of going back at 10w 3 days a week (taking Tues/Thurs home...so I am only away from her 1 day really at a time). We use daycare and have local family support as well.

I think the important things to stress here is first is your commitment to your family but a very close #2 is work. If you have him lead the conversation (or speak first) you can gauge his feedback. Even the biggest and strongest business men still can be surprisingly family oriented (I have been shocked by this first hand myself - I work in a male dominant field in a male dominant industry)....so he may surprise you. I would have the conversation at about 16w - so you have plenty of time to plan.

If he is cold and basically freaks out and is not rationale I think you take his feedback (dont present a "plan" at this point) and let him know that you will formulate a proposed plan and get back to him. However - if it goes well it could be a great two way conversation (and you may get early feedback on your performance) and you guys can work out a mutually beneficial plan.

I kind of rambled...but does that make sense?

The best part about my companies maternity leave is when you come back you don't come back full time, you "phase back" for 4 weeks.

It was awesome!

The first week you work 20 hours, second week 28 hours, third week 32 hours, fourth week 36 hours and then back full time after that.

it really helped with the transition. I'd see if you could incorporate something like that maybe! bc I loved it

@oliviaoblivia: you're going back!!

@oliviaoblivia: best of both worlds for sure!! I'm so looking forward to wedding season to get back to work.

Sorry for the threadjack OP!

I was in a somewhat similar position a few years back in that I was working for a small company (I think 10 people at the time), had alot of responsibility, was one of only 2 women, and no one had ever taken a maternity leave in our company yet.

I didn't announce until about 14 weeks, and I didn't have a conversation with my boss about leave until I reached the third tri. You can definitely wait until 16 weeks, and I'd recommend waiting even longer if you can manage. You want to give yourself more time to prove your worth before you tell them you will be taking a leave.

In my case, they were only legally obligated to give me 6 weeks unpaid leave, and I think they originally offered 8 weeks unpaid. They did not need to conform to FMLA but I managed to convince them that if they wanted to be a family friendly workplace, that they should at least give me the 12 weeks. It helped that one of my bosses was a woman my age, and I knew that she hoped to have a baby of her own at some point, so a decent maternity leave was necessary for her too. They ended up giving me 12 unpaid, plus they let me use 2 weeks of my PTO to add on so I ended up with 14 weeks total. I told them upfront that I wanted to come back full-time, so I think that probably helped my case. If you don't intend to, I'd tell them asap so they can plan around that.

I will be honest, I can't imagine them allowing you any of the PT flex options that you laid out (especially if you are in the U.S.). My work wouldn't have been able to do it, because we are so small and my role was so critical. But if you really want that, it's worth at least asking.

@Amorini: I'm 18 weeks with my second and still haven't told work. Same boat as you, tiny office and no one to pass my work off to. I am taking 6 full weeks off after delivery, then 2 months of 3 days/wk, then 2 months of 4 days/wk. DH (who gets 6 weeks paid family leave) and my mom will be helping to cover when I am at the office before the new baby starts daycare at around 6 months. We are having our second in my non busy season, so that's how the 6 weeks off straight will even be doable.

As a business owner, my main concern would be paying a full salary and office overhead while an employee is out of the office. So my main questions would be:

1) What's your pipeline look like? If you can sell out your pipeline ahead of time, then maybe it won't be hard to ask for a long (and fully paid) maternity leave!
2) If the pipeline isn't looking great, then maybe one way to soften the blow would be to ask for a reduced salary during your leave? That might make it easier to ask for a longer leave. It's a little tricky, as you may not want to get your manager used to paying you less! But if you set clear boundaries, it might be worth considering.

Good luck!!

@MrsBeluga: Thanks for all of this information! I am in California too and need to start looking into the state-assisted paid leave. I knew about the 6 weeks state disability. I've also been paying into a supplemental short-term disability insurance plan that will get me to almost something like 95% of pay for the times that supplemental insurance kicks in. I didn't really understand the paid family leave. I would like to take that too and use it all up at one time for an additional 6 weeks. That would be amazing. I would love to just peace out from work for a long time like that and not have my work pay me and then feel fully justified to ignore any and all work. I can't really afford to go any time without any pay, though. So it will all be interesting. Thanks for telling me about this!

@agold: Wonderful! Yay for another CA bee! Once you are set up for SDI the state will auto enroll you into PFL. They will mail you a form every two weeks where you can write in if you worked or not and then mail back (they give you about 3-4 days to turn around), then they do their calculations and auto fund your account. For both SDI and PFL, they will create a bank account for you (last time they used Bank of America), they will send you a debit card, and then they just fund the account for you (you can transfer online to your own account or head to B of A to cash out -no wire/transfer fees that way). The first deposit takes about a month to get, but after that it's every two weeks. They make it so so easy!

Also for SDI, I went two weeks late last time and I ended up getting paid for 6 weeks before birth (so the 4 weeks you will read about online is just the usual but can be extended), and it's 6 weeks after or 8 if you end up needing a c section.

Also, for SDI you will apply online and create an online account (2 months or so before August), your doctor will send in a form confirming your due date, and then the state will use payroll records submitted by your employer to do the weekly pay calculation for you. They will send you their calculation and it's easy to recalculate, and also nice that they do it for you too! Once you have your baby the doctor will send notice to the state, and that's how they know when to transfer you (either the 6 or 8 week mark) from SDI to PFL.

Feel free to send me an CA questions I learned a ton last time around!

@agold: for sure!

I would back up a few other commenters to say that you're going to be in the strongest position if you go in with prepared answers to bottom line questions on the business. Who will cover the office (or what arrangements need to be made and have you thought those through, to cover the office)? Who will cover your work, how, for how long, what potential issues does that present, etc.? If you're responsible for business development, who's going to bring in the money you may not be able to in that time? I think you might find yourself surprised about your boss's response - people tend to be much more human and empathetic than we give them credit for - but you're right that the business is a first priority so make sure to think through and address all the potential business implications of your leave and how they will be handled. Good luck!

@Amorini: Thanks for the update! I understand waiting until you are comfortable at a certain point to talk about maternity leave with your work. It was one thing for me to say "I'm pregnant" and its a whole different thing to talk abut the logistics of my leave. It's so great to hear about how you are now thinking that your work situation will be able to nicely accommodate your leave. And its amazing that your parents will be babysitting in your home. Its all sounding great! Keep us posted, please!

@Amorini: I'm really glad that you will be getting some form of paid leave! I'm receiving STD this time around and while it is not full pay, it is something.

I've never tried to work with a newborn (I am taking 12 weeks unpaid except for my STD), but working with an older infant is very tough for me. I'm not able to fully concentrate on what I'm doing and babies in general do not always nap consistently. That being said, since it is just you, you may be able to make it work, especially if you can flex your time and work odd hours. My superiors absolutely will not allow me to bring my child to work and they are not willing to allow me to go part-time.