Hellobee Boards

I live in Canada, we get 1 year mat leave, I returned to work when my LO was 9 months old because I missed it so much. I love what I do. It gives me a balance in my life that I need. I didn't cry. I did miss LO but it was time.

It also helps for me that my LO is a five minute walk across campus if I need to get her.

Oh momma, your feelings are completely okay and definitely within the realm of normal as far as I'm concerned. I felt very much the same! I started WFH while on maternity leave because I was bored! I was a little sad the day I returned but I didn't cry. It was really nice to be back at the job I love and eating a hot meal without interruption! My daughter is two now and some days working is harder than others,
Sometimes it's a nice break to work and sometimes I miss her like crazy! But, I have zero regrets. I'm definitely not as career oriented now, as in I'm not willing to take on extra responsibilities that would advance my career since it would require me to work more, but I'm okay with that balance. You can be a great mom and a great employee. Don't let anyone make you feel bad about it! Good luck!

First of all, congratulations! What an amazing journey you've been on!

Secondly - don't feel guilt. Not for a second!
Parenthood has so many emotions and they vary so much from person to person. It's a little different, but after I had my son I had a very hard time bonding. Not only did I look forward to returning to work, I tried to go back sooner! Long story short I ended up being a SAHM in the end, but at 3 weeks PP I was craving the interaction of work. I went in to visit my office and almost begged them to take me back sooner. I'm glad they didn't in the end, but at the time I wanted to do that so much more than being home.

I think two things should be said:
1) if you don't cry, there's nothing wrong with that! It doesn't mean you love your son any less than the mom who does cry. I can't stress that enough!
2) while you don't feel like you'd cry now, you might be more upset when the time comes. And that's ok too! I know some moms who didn't get really sad until a week or two in. Just don't be surprised if that happens.

Wvery parent processes stages and feelings differently. I hated the infant stage - but it doesn't mean I hated my infant or that I'm a bad mom. It just means I'm not a baby person. Not crying when you go back doesn't mean you don't miss or love your son. It just means that you need that balance between working and parenting, and I bet if anything it makes you a better mom in the end

Lots of hugs. And welcome

I looked forward going back to work! I was having a hard time being home all the time with a crying baby I couldn't talk to. I was going crazy. Literally. Going back to work and having LO in daycare is easily one of the best choices I've made as a mom. I did question myself the first couple days, but I never cried. It's just hard to have another life transition.

Congrats on your son!

I felt exactly the same as you after my first son! I was ready to back to work and had an easy transition. I had a flex schedule which allowed me to work from home and nurse him etc while my mom was his primary caretaker. I never cried and although some office days I'd miss him, it really was not a hard transition! Hugs mama! You're a great mama!

I mourned it but also was looking forward to work too at the same time, if that makes everything sense. I had a shirt leave and that made it harder, but in your situation, I'd feel similar. There's enough in life to feel guilty about in life. I wouldn't get too hung up on this one. Congrats on your adoption

I took a much longer maternity leave and officially work 3 days a week (although I go in more when its busy). When I went back to work I felt ready and it was great. It really did help to totally disengage from work when I was on leave because it created this partition in my mind. When I'm home, I'm mom and a wife and when I'm at the office, I'm an attorney and I like to keep those things really separate.

Obviously things bleed into work here and there since my son is in daycare and gets sick and what not, but my husband and I have both worked hard to keep our professional and private lives compartmentalized in a way that lets us really stay focused on our work when we're at work and be really present at home when we're home.

It helps to have caretakers you trust - we started off with grandma care for the first 4 months I was back at work and then we transitioned to an in-home daycare provider that is very warm and loving. It also helps tremendously that I have a supportive work environment with lots of colleagues and bosses who are all working parents in the trenches, but its great to have that adult interaction and brain stimulation doing something you're good at then coming home to your little person and just be so glad to see them.

It sounds like you have a similar situation with caretakers and a work environment that encouraged you to take your full leave, so you're off on the right foot!

Oh, don't feel guilty! Everyone parents differently. Some moms are happier when they can throw themselves into child care, some are better moms when they feel fulfilled at work. Your son will know that you're happy, and it will be good for him. It helps that you know he'll be in good hands, I think some people assume you must be sad because they recall their worries about leaving their child with someone they don't know well, but that's not the case for you.

@samsmama: please please do not feel guilty about this! I feel like our society tells you you should feel bad about it but you shouldn't. Down the road, Don't you think your little one would be so proud of having a working mom? I also am looking forward to going back to work. I think we need more in our lives than just children.

I have gone back to work after having babies twice and have yet to cry about it. I miss them, of course, but I don't feel guilty about earning a paycheck. My work is very fufilling for me, just as parenting is as well. Also I am a better mom for not being around my kids 24/7.