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I'd probably suck it up and go, but the time commitment is pretty insane. I'd go and be annoyed Can any of those people babysit your DD so you can celebrate your anniversary near that date? Maybe DD can go home with your parents or SIL/brother and you can go celebrate on your own?

I wouldn’t ask your mom her opinion. I would tell your brother that your 2 year old will be a disaster there and you’ll come alone. I would go only because you told your niece you would.

ETA: also that’s very nice of you to go. My kids were in a dance recital and had no one come watch when everyone else we knew did. Kind of a bummer but our family is further away I guess.

I would definitely hope everyone is okay with just you going, and if I were you I'd def go since it's your niece and you made the commitment. If she knows you had planned to come, she would be disappointed.

I am pretty strict about bed time when they are that young, plus it doesn't even seem like it would be an appropriate place for a 2 year old who would have a hard time sitting still/being quiet esp if overtired at that point.

So my plan would be go myself, then maybe treat niece to lunch/dinner later on (if you even feel that's needed).

@smuckers: Yikes. DD danced at a hoity toity studio for a year but thats next level insane! The no video taping is fairly standard, I was referring to you watching the professional video her parents would likely purchase. But for the flowers?! Omg thats kind of nuts. And as for no getting up during performance? I mean yes thats important, especially when you're paying big bucks to see a broadway show, but a childs dance recital? Cmon. We took DS to watch DD's recital last spring, he was 2 years old. I probably got up with him 6 times to go walk around the lobby and he spent time playing with his cars in the aisle. We made sure to sit way up high to minimize distraction, but really no one cared - they're all so bored watching other peoples kids dance

You agreed knowing the date so it being your anniversary isn't relevant. My nephew does a lot of plays and they can have 1 matinee and 1 night show, fyi for future reference. So a play could definitely be at night, too!

I would go by yourself since it will mean a lot to your niece. I totally get not bringing a 2 year old so I hope they can understand.

We get a lot of dance invites from DD's friends and we just suck it up and go from time to time. Do I enjoy paying $50 for me plus DD to go to a kid recital? Not really, but they really appreciate it and we buy flowers, too.

@smuckers: oh gosh, I would have said no at the beginning, lol. My oldest is taking a Broadway style class at a dance studio, and she is in the recital for the 3rd year in a row--the recitals are SO LONG when you are only waiting for your kiddo's 1 number. It's going to be like 5 minutes of a 2 hour show. I definitely would not expect a bunch of other family members to go. Have they not been in a recital before? I'd feel different if the kid were in 3-4 classes, and would appear on stage 3-4 times. But if she's in 1 performance out of like 16? SKIP.

I even have 2 kids in the recital this year, and I'm still dreading sitting around while other people's kids bumble around onstage. Like, it's cute for the first few numbers but then it gets old fast, because I don't know any of the kids.

Can you tell I'm not a dance mom?

I’d definitely go alone. Bringing the 2 year old would suck for so many reasons: long trip, bedtime, long show, etc.

I would def go.

I would pause and think about my kids personality and see if they can handle it and then decide if they should go. My current six year old would have loved to watch her older cousin at two years old. My son can’t sit through anything whose currently 3. My one year old can. Depends on kids.

My oldest daughter is a people person and she wants everyone and anyone there at soccer games, piano recitals, school performances, etc. If your niece is like that, you definitely need to go over just sending flowers. It will mean the world to her.

@pachamama: I LOVE this. I am also a no person. Solidarity!

I'm a "yes" person so take that it mind I would definitely go, but would have DH keep the kiddo outside the venue until your niece goes on. We definitely are ok flexing bedtime when something special comes up though.

I'm stunned that SIL/brother would think it's okay to ask you to drive 3 hours round trip to see this. I would definitely not go.