Anyone not do(ing) a big 1st birthday party? We're just planning on grandparents and a cake. No invites, no theme, no Pinterest-inspired madness. And, of course, now I feel like a horrible mother because I'm not throwing this grand event. However, a) I just don't have time and b) I don't like going to 1st birthday parties myself, so I don't want to inflict that on my friends.
Someone make me feel better!
pear / 1672 posts
You're not alone. LO is almost 7 months, and we are leaning towards doing this. We don't have local family, and many of our friends don't have kids. Plus, we'd rather spend the time planning events for her in the future when she'll be able to spend time with friends, etc. For some people a big party is very important, but we don't think it is to us at this stage. P.S. I don't enjoy 1st birthday parties either!
kiwi / 612 posts
@meganmp: I'm with you! I think we'll just invite a few key family members over (grandparents, uncle, aunt, etc), and save the big parties for when he's a little older. I totally appreciate people wanting to do that for their LOs, though, and more power to them! I think I'm just too shy to really enjoy it.
GOLD / wonderful apricot / 22646 posts
I don't think you're alone. Many of my friends (both on HB and in real life) keep it a small family event, which I adore!
If it wasn't for the cultural tradition, I'd 100% choose an at home dinner (which we are doing on his actual birthday, just the three of us)... after the 1st birthday we will ONLY be doing family bday parties until school age!
bananas / 9357 posts
You're not a horrible mother! They won't even remember whether they had a party or not.
I did throw a first birthday party, but on his actual birthday we had grandparents over for dinner then did cake and presents and it was so much fun! I was thinking afterwards that that would have been plenty to do for his birthday, but invites were already out and party plans were set. I might just do that for his 2nd birthday.
blogger / pomelo / 5361 posts
I don't think that's terrible at all! LO won't remember anyway!
We are definitely doing a party, but we'll only subject our families to it because there's no way any of our friends would have any desire to attend! 
cantaloupe / 6730 posts
That's what we're going to do. Dinner and cake with family. I'll save a big party for when LO actually plays with other children.
honeydew / 7917 posts
My sister keeps her parties pretty low key and invites only one set of grandparents, three sets of aunts and uncles, and three cousins. For the first year we went to a hot dog joint. Food and clean up was taken care of, and the kids enjoyed the trains on display. For the second year it was a simple dinner at her house, and the kids had a blast playing with each other.
pear / 1769 posts
We aren't! Just doesn't make sense for us. I still plan to spoil her on that day, we just aren't doing the party part.
persimmon / 1420 posts
Thank you all! I'm glad it's not just me. If their birthday wasn't right next to Thanksgiving, and perhaps in July or something, I would do a BBQ and invite people over for the BBQ, and just happen to have cake at the same time. It's pratically the middle of winter though, and the kids won't remember it, so I'm not going to subject my friends to what I consider torture:)
pomelo / 5621 posts
We won't do a big party. My mom is going to fly out and maybe we will invite a couple family members who live close by for cake.
We will do bigger things when he is older. The week of his birthday will also be my first week back to work, so it will be stressful enough!
honeydew / 7811 posts
I don't want a big party. We will probably just do grandparents, my sister and nephew. Hopefully my DH isn't thinking otherwise.
It will have to be at my in-laws house because our apartment is too tiny to have more than 2 people over at a time, and my parents house is not an option because my dad smokes.
I won't go pinterest crazy, but I may do a few DIY decorations
pineapple / 12566 posts
That is exactly what we did. Just us and one set of grandparents. I made cake and he had a few gifts. That's it!
coconut / 8472 posts
I have absolutely no plans to do a giant first birthday party. LO's not even here and I know this for a fact. I get way too stressed out with big family parties, plus his birthday will be right around Thanksgiving. And it's mostly for the parents anyways. So why plan something I'm not going to enjoy? He'll never know the difference.
blogger / eggplant / 11551 posts
I'm only doing it because it's a big cultural thing for Koreans.
squash / 13764 posts
We just had our parents and my sister and her family over! Three of our friends ended up stopping by later on but they're like family so it still felt very intimate.
persimmon / 1328 posts
We definitely aren't doing a big party thing. I am getting some photos taken and we will visit the grandparents. Not much else! Honestly, I don't think many of my friends would care much and most of our family lives pretty far away, so it isn't worth the time and money figuring it out.
pomelo / 5093 posts
Dear god, no. I felt absolutely no compulsion to do some big thing for her first birthday. At that point, they can't even participate that much - it's really more for the family. We had a nice family gathering in a park. We had a much bigger party for her second birthday, and I expect to keep putting in more effort as she gets older and has more opinions about what she'd like to do.
coconut / 8498 posts
Not a big deal. We had a party but it was really an excuse to hang out with friends Most of our friends did not have a party for their LO.
grapefruit / 4923 posts
even though first birthdays are considered a big thing in my culture, we're going to do something along the lines of what you mention. i love seeing other people's bigger bashes but i'm not big on party planning myself.
pomelo / 5628 posts
All the kids are going to want to see when they get older is a cake picture. Not a smash cake or a super fancy cake, just cake. : )
persimmon / 1128 posts
We don't do first birthday parties. I feel that at one, they're just too little to understand the concept or really enjoy it, and we don't have any cultural reason to have one. Instead we go to a nice restaurant with my siblings and parents, and do cake and presents at home. However we did celebrate his first birthday at daycare with a mini party.
grapefruit / 4066 posts
I would be doing exactly what you mentioned, as I prefer smaller less complicated events, but my HUSBAND is the one who is insisting we do some big birthday bash lol. He wants everyone and their mother to come, and wants the decorations and cake to be amazing. So we compromised a bit. But if it were up to me, we would be having just some very close family members over, some cake and candles, and that's it!
pomegranate / 3917 posts
LOs 1st Birthday was Sunday (20th).
We had us, 1 set of Grandparents, and Great-Grandparents, one aunt for lasagne dinner!
You're not a horrible parent aaaat all and don't worry one bit! I got so many comments of disbelief that I wasn't doing a pinterest-worthy type party as that's usually how I roll in everything else I do! Kid wants a crazy themed party when she's 7? I'm all over it, with the gifts she did get and the people that were there was enough. My opinion is that anything more would have been overwhelming, everything was perfect for us, and for her and I honestly think she had so much fun! She had a very underwhelming cake smash we let her do in our kitchen and had a lot of fun with her new toys! The cake smash was a box cake mix I made into a giant cupcake, nothing fancy, she just picked the sprinkles off, lol.
Don't feel like a bad Momma, you're a great Mom and you do what you feel is most appropriate for you guys!
persimmon / 1420 posts
This is really making me feel better! I see all these themed birthday parties, and I feel a bunch of mom-guilt, but I think that it won't be fun if I stress out about how cute the bows are or whatever. Cake it is!
@NovBaby1112: Is he offering to coordinate the whole bash? It would be just like my DH to want to have a huge party, and then be surprised when he's the one that has to pull it together.
grapefruit / 4066 posts
@meganmp: ha, of course not! I would love to see him knee deep in making a mermaid ombre cake and putting together gift bags, but i highly doubt that will happen. all he has done so far is give me the invitation list, lol.
grapefruit / 4085 posts
We're just doing immediate family for the party - about 10 people total. I thought about doing something bigger and then thought - her bday is 2 weeks before Christmas, our place isn't that big and I don't think our friends really want to attend a 1 year-old's bday party. I do plan on making it festive, but that's just b/c I can't help myself.
pineapple / 12053 posts
not bad at all! we're party people though, so i can't imagine NOT throwing a party!
nectarine / 2163 posts
we didn't do one. my mama, sisters, and brother came down for the weekend, and we just hung out and ate cake!
bananas / 9118 posts
Heck no, definitely not my thing! We had both sets of grandparents and my brother over- that's it. I threw some streamers (the streamers were the biggest hit with birthday boy!) and balloons around, made cupcakes, and called it good. Since we had so few people, we were able to go out to brunch- totally worth it in my book!
honeydew / 7687 posts
@meganmp: don't be silly, parties are more for parents at this age so if you don't want one don't have one!
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