Doing dance wasn’t really common where I grew up and I’ve had zero exposure. TBH I now recognize it really isn’t my thing. We signed our 5 y/o up to do it when she asked to after she participated in a free class along with a friend at a fairly laid back studio. They have a recital this spring and we got a sheet describing what makeup they need to wear for the recital and dress rehearsal. It’s full on foundation, eye shadow, cat-eye black eye liner, blush, lipstick, and mascara. I feel all kinds of uncomfortable about this because I think it’s inappropriate for them to be wearing makeup. They also have to wear makeup (but a little less) for picture day. I’m really not sure what to do about this. Do I ask if she can skip the makeup? My husband is pretty upset about it too.
-
Stage makeup can definitely feel intense but that seems more appropriate for say the Nutcracker than a 5yo recital. Our old laid back studio said to do whatever we felt comfortable with which last year at 6 was a little blush and pink gloss. The owner had a “let them be little and cute” attitude. We’re at a more intense studio now and I’m curious to see what they say since they’re also quite socially conservative (like they ask the girls to wear something over leotards to enter the building for modesty), but take dance a lot more seriously.
If it makes you super uncomfortable I would at least have the conversation with them. I bet you’re not alone! I’m also curious what others say. I did dance a long time and honestly can’t remember what we did at that age.
-
Not a dance mom, but my nieces (6&8) are in dance. That seems like a fairly common practice, but my sister does tone it down with minimal foundation and blush, and a natural looking lipstick.
I know stage makeup is a totally different beast, and the main point of such extremes is so features/expressions can be seen from the audience because otherwise they're washed out from the lights.
-
I have no advice but just wanted to offer some solidarity- this, coupled with some of the costumes I've seen friends post, has really made me wary of signing my kid up for dance classes. I took a creative movement/ballet class when I was younger but it was super laid back and just about playing and moving to music, and learning some basic ballet. I can't find anything like that around here, and I don't feel like my already-anxious kid needs rigidity and such high expectations from her extra curricular activities at age 5.
I'd talk to the teacher, I'm certain you aren't the only parent who is uncomfortable. I remember doing stage performances when I was older- late elementary school aged, where my mom would put blush and a natural colored lipstick on me and that was it. To be fair, she never wore make up and I don't really as an adult either, so maybe it was an option and she skipped it?
I'm rambling. Just wanted to offer some solidarity. -
When my girl was in dance I felt like the specific guidelines for costume were so intense. But then picture day came and some girls had next to no makeup, and their hair was wrong. Teachers don’t seem to care. I was never in dance neither and make up on kids is not my thing but it’s only for one day really. And I only did a bit of mascara, red lipstick and a little blush.
-
Ugh, I feel your pain. I figure skated competitively as part of a team from the age of 12/13 onward, so I’m very familiar and comfortable with stage makeup, needing to match teammates, etc. I was older, but even as a young teen I absolutely never would have been allowed to compete/perform to some of the music and in some of the costumes that I see very little girls wearing today. I’m not sure what has caused dance to take this direction, but I’m not happy with a lot of what I see. It makes me reluctant to let my 5 year old, who loves and excels at dance, to go much further - I’ve already had to advocate once for not having a bare midriff (mermaid costume) for a 3-4 year old ballet recital. I feel like past this point, I “know what we’ve signed on for” and will have less veto power on costumes/makeup I find inappropriate.
In your case, I wonder if the listing was specific to her class, or was it general recital info geared more toward older dancers? I’ve found that for recitals with the littlest dancers, generally DDs teachers have been okay with blush, lipstick, and eyeshadow in age appropriate colors chosen by mom. I also let my daughters wear a little powder and mascara, because they like it and I’m okay with it as stage makeup once or twice a year, but like you, I am also not comfortable with heavy foundation or cat eye liner for a casual dance recital. Honestly, if this is just a recital, not a competition team, then I’m tempted to say that yes, she really does need to wear some minimal stage makeup, but just put on what you’re comfortable with (enhance her sweet little girl ness, don’t vamp her up) and go on your way without saying anything - I doubt anyone will try to “correct” you. The moms who share your viewpoint will most likely do the same, and those who don’t will probably be busy worrying about their own kids’ cat-eye liner and fake lashes
-
Wow, I am surprised at this! My DD is at a really low-key school and they do in-class recitals for the kids under 8. The kids just wear their class leotards and tights, and the school provides tutu skirts to make it feel special. No makeup whatsoever. I think it’s completely inappropriate for kids under 8 or 9, at least, so I’m glad we ended up at a school that doesn’t require it.
FWIW, I did several years of dance as a kid and don’t remember ever putting on heavy makeup like you described. I could have a faulty memory but I’m pretty sure I’d recall that.
-
My 5.5 year old is in her second year at what I would call a laid back studio. They do a full on recital with costumes in a proper theater. The dancers are required to wear their costume and hair piece (if there is one) and the correct color dance shoes (as in, pink ballet slippers, not “capezio pink” or anything specific). Hair and makeup is up to the dancer/mom. So last year I put a little bit of lip gloss on her and a tiny bit of blush to make her feel special. Cat eye eyeliner is beyond weird on a 6 year old.
Also- for people who are worried about costumes, at our studio they have a big poster with all the class recital pictures from the prior year, so you can actually see all the costumes. All the little ones are cute and age appropriate. Maybe see if potential studios have something like that?
-
I put my 3 year old in full makeup including foundation, blush, brows, lip gloss and masacara last spring for her recital. The purpose is so it shows up well on stage. I think you can tone it down for photo day. I was not raised in dance but this academy is very well respected with hundreds and dancers and the owner is a close friend. I had no concerns. The hair/hairspray was more difficult for me to get DD to cooperate with. I do think this is a cultural part of some studios- especially ones that are larger and compete nationally. Due to a significant move we are in a much smaller studio now and I’m not sure what to expect but I do think they will be asking for less uniformity in the hair and makeup department. I did opt out of the winter recital- which is an option at most studio if you find the recital environment not to be your thing.
-
@Becky: I was in dance growing up and my 4 year old is in dance now. The makeup is more for the stage lights so the faces don’t look washed out. Even boys wear it. BUT that being said, slapping a bunch of make up on a toddler/preschooler feels super weird and I understand why you’re uncomfortable. Especially foundation, that seems like way overkill. At my daughters last show they requested full make up for the kids but I just did some rosy cheeks and that was it. No one said anything so I’m sure you can make the call as the parent.
-
Thanks for all the responses. It sounds like I just need to ask the teacher. If this was more of a competition or she was older I’d get it
(and wouldn’t have signed her up—again just not my thing) but it’s just a one bit dance recital on mother’s day weekend. We know a boy in another class that will be there and his mom was given the option about makeup so hopefully the answer is eh, you can just do a little blush and tinted lipgloss. -
Totally not my thing either. My girl is in dance but she’s not quite 3 yet so there’s been no mention of make up or anything.
Why put foundation on the perfect skin of a child!? That’s mind blowing to me. -
@Becky: wait, if the little boy doesn’t have to put anything on his face I don’t see why the girls need to either. Men wear make up. Yes, more women do than men, but still make up is not gender specific. At 5 years old I don’t the kids need this at all. I can’t imagine it enhances the look of the dance from the stage. Couldn’t a face painter come in and put something creative and fun on everyone’s face add a bit of glitter that really stands out?
-
At my studio full make up was only for the nutcracker and even then we weren't allowed winged eye liner until we were snowflakes, usually 13-14 +. I also performed in the nutcracker with a professional company so standards might have been slightly higher. Regular recital make up was blush, mascara, pink lipstick or gloss and maybe eyeshadow that matched the costume. Picture make up was left to the parents, but usually lipstick or gloss and mascara. As we got older and started having skin issues this expanded to include concealer and foundation.
-
@Becky: what region/area do you live in? My kiddos are in dance, and for their recitals, their hair was specified but nothing was said about makeup at all. But I have two mom friends in the midwest, and several in the south, and it seems like full face makeup for little kids for dance is much more common in those areas.
-
My 4.5yo is in her 2nd year of dance (we've done 2 studios) and both studios have been really reasonable about the makeup. I did only just a little bit of lipstick for her 4yo recital and no makeup for the 3yo one. I would definitely ask about it and let them know you're not comfortable. I also know that when I was in dance when I was younger the makeup we were required to wear always made my face irritated, so you could cite that concern as well.
-
When my daughter was in dance around this age, the teacher also wanted full makeup for the recital. I told my daughter we could do a little lipstick if she wanted for fun but didn't have to. Another girl was upset and said she didn't want makeup and her mom was like great then we won't. We were pretty firm with the teacher that we didn't want her pressuring the girls.
-
I think if I were you I would just do what you feel comfortable with and if someone at the studio takes issue with that at the time of the pictures or recital you can explain your feelings. But I wouldn’t do the makeup since you’re clear that you are uncomfortable with it and find it inappropriate. You should not compromise your values and feelings for really anything, but certainly not for a small child’s dance recital where your daughter wearing or not wearing the makeup has literally no effect on anyone else.
-
@Becky: That is how our dance studio runs as well - like others have said its because stage lights are HARSH and your child will look like a ghost w/o make-up on. It's for one weekend so I have no problem doing it.
However, there are other studios around me that are super lenient so I would suggest you find a different studio for next year that fits your requirements
-
Thank you for the warning! I hope my girls don’t get into dance!
-
@Jennibenni: Yep pretty much what I was going to say. And if they give you a hard time about that, time to find a new place!
-
@Mamaof2: if that’s the reason- harsh stage lights- then the little boy dancer shouldn’t have been given choice.
-
@Mrs. Lemon-Lime: Right?! I’m kind of planning to use this if they give me any trouble.
-
@Anagram: I’m in western NY so it’s not like it’s a pageant, cheer, or dance mecca.
I had no intentions to do dance but my daughter was struggling a little socially so when she tried the free class and said she wanted to do it I said okay. I don’t have anything against dance at all (except the makeup thing—I’m just not comfortable with that) and would be fine with something like hip hop or interpretive dance, but quickly realized I’m more of a hands-off sports mom: I need a sport they can just do on their own and I don’t have to do anything except drive them there and support them. She isn’t enjoying it either so this will be our first and last experience participating which makes saying no to the makeup a little easier since I won’t see the instructor again.
-
@Becky: yeah totally, with all of that background info I would not hesitate to just say you aren't doing the makeup.
-
@Becky: funny you say that about being hands off, because ballet is actually the thing I can be most hands off with for my girl. Aside from getting her dressed for the recital and the pictures, all I do is get her to class on time and make sure she has her ballet slippers on. Every other activity I’ve had to do a little more prodding to get her to participate appropriately.
But i see it really is studio/ school dependent. There is another one in my town that sends out notices reminding parents that a ponytail isn’t an appropriate ballet class hair style, buns only. For 5 year olds. That’s not my thing.
-
@Foodnerd81: This probably sounds bad but getting her dressed for recitals and pictures is what’s too hands on for me
And being asked to practice some dances (which I’m not really doing...).
-
@Becky: the place we go (in NJ) doesn't do photos and they requested a bun for the recital but some kids in the 3 year old class had a ponytail and nothing was mentioned. No makeup. But they were in their costume and on a stage at a school. I have heard some studios in town don't even do a recital, and we have a studio that does "barefoot ballet" for the younger classes. Like very laid back.
-
As others have said, I would not ask about it, I would just put LO in the makeup I was comfortable with (so, probably blush and Dr. Pepper LipSmackers). Stage makeup has its place, but I can't imagine why a 5-year-old would need foundation for a friends-and-family dance recital.
-
Wow, this is intense. I have seen lots of FB friends posting pictures of their under 5 daughters with full makeup on for recitals. For my four year old's recital at the rec center last year, I just let her wear chap-stick (a real treat!
). This year, she's at a studio and I'm not sure what the policy is. I get that they want makeup to be visible (this year's recital is on a large stage), but foundation?! What is there to change about a little girl's skin?I didn't start dance until high school, and we were mandated makeup styles. I hated it and would push back if my little little girl was asked to wear a ton of unnecessary makeup.
-
So, this isn't a new thing. When I was a child, we had to have fuchsia lipstick, blue eyeshadow, mascara, etc. for full costume dance pictures and recitals. Since it was once a year, it was a fun thing as a kid. These were studios that focused on technique, professionalism, and stage presence, and they started this with the youngest classes.
That said, as a parent now, I wouldn't do makeup at all for my child if it made me feel uncomfortable. Make that decision, and own it. It's your prerogative.
(Between the makeup description and Bobby Brown reference, I've completely showed my age in this post
)
-
That would be a hard no from me. I’d just skip it and not say anything TBH. But at least it does sound fairly common given all the responses.
-
Dance teacher here - I hope I can help give some perspective.
The studio probably gave you a recital packet which included the makeup information. Every student gets this, it is not broken down for each age group. So realistically, they probably do not expect full cat-eye on little kids.
However - makeup for the stage is important. Many of the comments are saying that kids wearing makeup is making them uncomfortable and its inappropriate. The point of the makeup is so be able to see their eyes, cheeks, and lips from the audience. NOT TO SEXUALIZE THEM. The makeup has nothing to do with covering up blemishes, or to make them "prettier". It is so you can see your child.
When putting on stage makeup a dancer/performer uses a darker foundation on their face to counteract the stage lights. I would never ever wear my performance makeup out in everyday life - I'd look like a clown!
The features that need to be highlighted are your child's eyes, cheeks, and lips. For the minimum I recommend a darker eyeshadow (blue or grey works really well, but feel free to go with brown, and it should be about 4x darker than skintone)
Blush - use whatever you have on hand, but make it dark. Start on the apple of her cheeks and go up the jawline. (My grandmother used to use lipstick for blush, smudge a little on the cheeks and then buff it out. works great!)
Lipstick - Some version of a red, should stand out. Lipstick is important because it defines the face from the teeth and shows your child smiling. Lipgloss or chapstick will wear off before your child goes on stage. (If you are really struggling with this, Burts Bees makes colored chapsticks that are fairly long lasting and have bright lipstick-like colors.)
The absolute bare minimum would be blush and lipstick, so that you can see your child's face from the audience.Stage lighting is harsh, even the stage lights at your local school theater. Think of a picture with a too bright flash - the person doesn't look like their natural self. Then add in the child being on stage - which is up higher than the seats and far away from the audience. If you child is smiling, you want to see them smile!
Please think of the makeup as part of the costume. The costume is not something the child will wear everyday, it is special to enhance their dance. The makeup is part of the costume, something special to enhance their dance.
Picture day makeup - many studios use this as a small dress rehearsal. Practice for the child and the caregiver putting on the costume/makeup and hair. It takes time, and its not something you want to do for the first time right before the recital.
A few more items:
Some comments about make the recital feel unimportant. Not matter how small the school is or if the recital is held in the class room on or the Broadway stage, the recital is the culmination of a years worth of work. The teacher and the students have worked very hard, please don't belittle it.Boy makeup - I do agree that if the boy is not required to wear makeup, the studio should not require girls to wear makeup. However, if he was my student I would encourage him to also wear the bare minimum so that his parents can see him smile from stage.
Practicing - please don't feel like you need to make your child practice. If she wants to, great, but it is not a requirement. Its not the same as practicing an instrument or doing math homework! The teacher is probably saying this more as a reminder to the kids to not forget what they learned that week.
Please let me know if you have any questions. I'd be happy to answer anything!
). This year, she's at a studio and I'm not sure what the policy is. I get that they want makeup to be visible (this year's recital is on a large stage), but foundation?! What is there to change about a little girl's skin?
)
- Google Plus
- Stumbleupon
- Twitter
- Facebook
- Pinterest
- Favorite0
32 comments