I don't think our LO has terrible sleep habits but I'm getting tired and people are starting to tell me I'm crazy for not training her at this point.
Since she is Breast fed I can't tell if she is hungry when she gets up or just wants to comfort nurse. She used To get up twice a night but now it's about once. On one hand that's not so bad especially if I can get up feed her and get her back in bed. But I don't want to mess up and get her used to nursing every time she's awake.
Any suggestions?
pomegranate / 3008 posts
I think that is something that only you and your husband can decide is right or not right for your family. It can be very stressful to sleep train and your husband will likely have to be totally onboard and supportive. When we did it to my son around 6 months old I couldn't be involved at all because I didn't want my son to smell my milk and not be able to have any, which I felt would have upset him more, thus my husband is the one that sleep trained him while I was on the other side of the house with a fan turned on high to block out any sound. If you are okay with not sleep training and continuing to night-nurse, go for it! She'll eventually wean herself but it may be a long time in coming. You have to decide what is right for you. We did it before my son could crawl or walk because I didn't want to have the temptation of trying to climb out of the crib to get what he wanted if we waited longer.
GOLD / wonderful coffee bean / 18478 posts
At 10 months, it is probably safe to assume that she doesn't *need* to nurse. Have you asked your pediatrician? From looking at my friends who have kids who kept waking up, this doesn't always go away and now they have 2 year olds that still wake up almost every night. So it is going to be your decision if you want to possibly deal with night wakings for a long time. Good luck with your decision!
wonderful clementine / 24134 posts
Thanks. I think that's my trouble.
1 I don't mind the night nursings now but don't want it to get any worse. I mean I would love to sleep through the night.
2 I'm not sure my husband is on board. He hates to hear her cry but I need my sleep and don't want to drag this on.
grapefruit / 4110 posts
My son is over a year and still wakes up to 2 times a night. We nurse and actually, he comes into our bed and sleeps with us. He needs the night nursings so we aren't prepared to train him. We have found he is dropping one feed on his own and if he doesn't want to nurse he will cuddle. So, I thinks kids will do what they need to do. Don't let others bully you into something you aren't ready for. They are only this little for so long and you will never get this time back.
admin / watermelon / 14210 posts
i'm in a similar situation. i know that olive doesn't need to feed at 8 months (she's waking up 3-4 times a night), because she never takes a full feeding when she wakes up. there have been several moms on hellobee (including mrs jacks) whose babies didn't sleep through the night until they night weaned.
on the one hand, it's the path of least resistance for me right now. it's usually relatively easy to get her back down with nursing. on the other hand... no one else can get her down except me because she wants to nurse.
olive's sleep hasn't really improved much since she was a newborn, so i'm not optimistic that she's going to drop the night wakings on her own. i think the only way she's going to sleep through the night is if i night wean her.
my experience with olive is so different than charlie because i wasn't nursing charlie. I am so glad we sleep trained him and I have no regrets. But I'm finding it so hard to pull the trigger with olive, so I understand your dilemma. You have to do what you're comfortable with.
Good luck!
wonderful clementine / 24134 posts
@Mrs. Bee: you may be surprised. We were 3 wakings as an infant and around 6 months she dropped to twice a night and now it's usually once a night. So on one hand I'm hopeful she will drop them on Her own all together but it doesn't seem like its happening soon.
admin / watermelon / 14210 posts
@Thehistoryofus: she still has bad nights where she wakes up 5-6 times. I'd always planned on sleep training but she is my baby!
Sigh. I'm so tired. Honestly if I were in your position as a first time mom I'm not sure what I'd do. Getting up once a night isn't that hard, and your lo may drop the waking on her own. But I think it's much easier to sleep train when they are younger. We have good friends that sleep trained one night waking at 6 months. You might be surprised and it might be easy!
blogger / pineapple / 12381 posts
Trust your gut. So many people told us we needed to sleep train at various points. We quickly knew it wasn't right for us, though it's been miraculous for others. I always try to soothe first then feed. With Lala it was harder because breast feeding was her comfort. We coslept so it didn't disrupt my sleep so much.
admin / watermelon / 14210 posts
@Mrs. Jacks: it really isn't that bad when you're cosleeping. does it count as cosleeping if i pass out in the glider with olive after any feedings after 4am? i'm just so tired....
blogger / pineapple / 12381 posts
@Mrs. Bee: Not quite! Poor Mama Bee.
I honestly think that if I didn't have my residency training that I couldn't do it... My mantra in residency was "I'll sleep when I'm dead".
I don't feel that way anymore. Sleep is so precious!
kiwi / 525 posts
Should a ten month old still be hungry during the night at all if they're eating well during the day? Just curious, now.
admin / watermelon / 14210 posts
@aunt pol: at 10 months, they don't need the calories at night anymore (perhaps unless they are underweight). they are waking up out of habit -- they get hungry at that time because they're used to being fed at that time, or they are used to waking up for comfort.
wonderful clementine / 24134 posts
@Mrs. Bee: I totally know what you mean about "I'm so tired". Right now its 8:42 and I just got LO to bed at 8 (and for some reason she just woke up but went right back to sleep) and I'm ready for bed. My husband is ready for me not to be such a bore.
I wish we could co-sleep and we have tried it on some of the harder nights but she likes to sleep on her belly so its hard for her to fall asleep after nursing and go back to sleep. We all really do sleep SOO much better in our own beds.
Thanks for the tips, I'm going to talk to my husband this week and see what he wants to do. Since I'm nursing I know it will mostly end up on him if we do train and he's the sucker for his little girl.
Another question - now that shes standing up, she just stands at the end of her crib and cries. I feel like she'll never fall asleep. Ferber I guess says not to touch them, but it seems to help if we can even just pick her up to lay her down. I don't know how else she would ever go to sleep if shes just standing there crying.
admin / watermelon / 14210 posts
@Thehistoryofus: i usually don't get to bed until 1 or later these days. and cosleeping is just not for me... i'd be way too nervous.
you don't have to follow ferber. there are lots of other methods out there that allow you to shush/pat during checks. some babies escalate the more you interact with them, so you just have to figure out what works best for you and your lo.
blogger / pineapple / 12381 posts
I think breast fed babies really do delay their sleeping through the night. Does anyone have a breastfed baby that sleeps reliably through the night? I'm looking for those mamas to see what worked for them!
blogger / pomelo / 5400 posts
@Thehistoryofus: We are very much in the same situation at 11 months. He started sleeping through, actually, and then we moved, and how he's back to (generally) one night waking. I've really been trying not to nurse him automatically -- sometimes rocking/shushing and a comforting hand on him will work, but sometimes he just won't go to sleep again unless he nurses. Basically, really really inconsistent. I keep hoping it's going to magically fix itself any day now.
I can deal with the one wake-up, but I would also sososososo love to sleep all night again, especially now that he's generally waking earlier, at 6ish. But sleep training does freak me out for a couple of reasons. Like you said, he can stand there at the end of his crib flipping out, which is what he does when he gets worked up, and we are now in a condo that shares walls with one other unit -- and of course his room is up against that end. I don't know if they can hear it when he cries ... I guess I should ask, but I'd have a hard time believing they can't hear at least a little.
blogger / pomelo / 5400 posts
@Mrs. Bee: Does Olive take a paci? That helped us cut down on the nightwakings initially, though he was younger at that point -- 4-5 months.
admin / watermelon / 14210 posts
@Mrs. Jacks: mrs. wagon's baby slept through the night and he was ebf, though he got a bottle of breastmilk at bedtime. he was a naturally sleepy baby, but she did write a post on what she did including some mild sleep training.
i do think some babies are naturally better sleepers, and of course we do our part in instilling good and bad sleep habits as well. but i know so many babies that just slept through the night on their own from around 8 weeks on. i was hoping that would be me!
@Mrs. Yoyo: olive will not take a paci, and she still hates the bottle too, though she will take one (just not from me).
charlie was pretty mellow and it was easy to sleep train him. olive is more high strung, so i know she won't be as easy. part of why i've been putting it off. but a min of 3 wakings a night plus short naps is a lot to deal with at 8 months when i have a toddler that hasn't been sleeping well the past couple months (after being an excellent sleeper for 2 years.. i didn't know how good i had it).
hostess / eggplant / 11068 posts
@Mrs. Bee: Oh man, that's LO for sure. She totally doesn't need to eat in the middle of the night but I can't totally wean her because she feeds off of both boobs before passing out again. BUT, she slept through the night (6pm-6am) last night!
admin / watermelon / 14210 posts
@Rubies: olive doesn't even eat half the time so i know she's not even hungry. i try to get her down by other means, but she is wide awake until i put her on the boob at which point she passes out.
yay for sleeping through the night!
blogger / pomelo / 5400 posts
@Mrs. Bee: Ugh, no paci. Well, the silver lining is that it will be one less thing to wean. We had some success a while back with pick up/put down from Baby Whisperer, but it's so time intensive.
wonderful clementine / 24134 posts
Right now we are maybe getting her to STTN about 2 nights a week. It just seems random though, nothing changed in our schedule.
I feel like I do have a "good" sleeper because once a night between 7:30-6:30 really isn't that bad. If I knew at a year or so she would drop it I would have no problem keeping going but I don't want it to go on forever because I created a bigger problem.
admin / watermelon / 14210 posts
@Mrs. Yoyo: i wish she took a paci! our friends came over last night and their son (same age as olive) was able to pass out with all the hubbub only because of his paci.
wonderful clementine / 24134 posts
@Mrs. Bee: Have you tried a paci recently? DJ didn't take a paci until well after 6 months old. She likes the Soothies. She only takes them for a few minutes but sometimes thats all we need to get her to calm down.
admin / watermelon / 14210 posts
@Thehistoryofus: tried 2 weeks ago. i have a couple of different brands because i tried to get charlie to take a paci, and he would not. maybe they don't have the paci gene! i am going to give the soothies another try because i haven't tried them since she was a newborn.
i actually do hope to sleep train in the next week or two. mr. bee can't get her down so i can't leave in the evenings. the few times i have, she will stay wide awake with mr. bee until i come home and nurse her. i just can't be this attached to her forever (putting her down for naps, bedtime, and nightwakings). even if she gave me a long first stretch that was 6 hours, i'd be happy because then i could have dinner with friends!
hostess / eggplant / 11068 posts
@Mrs. Bee: "... she will stay wide awake with mr. bee until i come home..." LOL...I pictured Olive sitting in her Bumbo, by the door, just waiting for you.
admin / watermelon / 14210 posts
@Rubies: haha no he's holding her and trying to get her down, but she absolutely refuses to rest her head on his shoulder (she does this to me too which is why i always end up nursing her).
i've had to run home from the subway the couple of times i did go out because she was home waiting for me!
hostess / eggplant / 11068 posts
@Mrs. Bee: Hey, me too! LO NEVER rests her head on my shoulder unless she's been totally milk coma-ed.
admin / watermelon / 14210 posts
@Rubies: omg i thought olive was such a weirdo for doing that! can't believe br is like that too!
when i pick olive up in the middle of the night, she straightens her body and swivels her neck looking around. she NEVER rests her head on my shoulder!
@Thehistoryofus: so sorry for taking over your thread!
blogger / pomelo / 5400 posts
@Rubies: @Mrs. Bee: The shoulder thing is one way I judge whether he will go back to sleep without nursing. If he won't keep it there, I know my chances are slim.
blogger / pomelo / 5400 posts
@Mrs. Bee: I am also so tired of being the only one who can get him to sleep/stay asleep. We have tickets to MJ Cirque in a bit and I have no idea how I'm going to make it work because it starts right around bedtime.
admin / watermelon / 14210 posts
@Mrs. Yoyo: I'm going to see radiohead in nj on thurs... I will just have to hope and pray.
On a bright note, olive was wide awake after I nursed her at bedtime tonight, so I just stuck her in her crib wide awake. She rolled around chatting for a good 15min before she started crying. I left her to cry for 5 min before going back to nurse her again, and now she's still sleeping past midnight! This is the longest stretch she's done in a long time!
pomegranate / 3983 posts
@Mrs.Jacks: Baby Boy is BF and dropped his final night feeding right around 10 months. The thing that made the biggest difference for us was moving him out of our bedroom at 6 months. Within a couple of weeks, he dropped all but one night feeding. But I have found that he needs to have a) eaten well during the day, b)bedroom has to be at the right temperature, and c) bedroom has to have enough light but not too much. If one of those is off, I end up having to get up for a night feeding.
wonderful clementine / 24134 posts
@Mrs. Yoyo: I agree with the shoulder thing. If I pick her up and she will put her head down on my shoulder then I know I have a chance at getting her back without milk.
@Mrs. Bee: Thats great! I love that sometimes middle of the night feedings are just wake up, nurse, and put her back down but sometimes when she's wide awake I hate having to put her to sleep! I would love if I could put her down awake!
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