So, if you've ever read my posts about my ILs before, you know it's not a good situation. We don't outwardly argue or anything, but we are all basically like oil and water. MIL is the main offender (FIL is fine). She is rude, overbearing, and generally disrespects anything I have to say.
To give a brief background....
When I was preg with DS1, we made it clear that I wasn't sure how I would be feeling after the csection, with the pain and meds and all. I was a FTM and unsure, and just wanted to make it clear that we didn't want everyone there right away and would call when ready for visitors. I had DS1 at 10am, via scheduled csec (and they knew the schedule). We called by noon, I was feeling fine, and ready for visitors. They said they would be "right there". They live 10-15 minutes from the hospital. They showed up, unannounced, at 6:30pm (so, 6 hours later). By this point, I'm exhausted from waiting for them, and rather annoyed that they didn't tell us what was going on. Apparently, they decided to go to a restaurant with a bunch of family before coming to see the baby. Anyway, she barged in, without washing hands or even removing her coat (in Feb) and took the baby out of my arms. I was totally in shock by what was happening. DH....didn't do a damn thing, other than take pictures of them and all of this happening. Thankfully, this visit lasted less than 15 minutes, before they up and left. Never asked how I was feeling. Barely even looked at me.
FF to DS2, two years later. We basically told them the same thing. We'd call when we were ready for visitors, etc. DS2 came early (emergency csec). I had him at 9:30 at night, and was vomiting from meds after that. I did not feel well this time. The next day, my staples were super uncomfortable and I still wasn't feeling great, which DH told IL's. They were not accepting of this answer and continually bothered him all that day off and on. At 1am that morning, I got a FB message from MIL, saying "Congratulations. We will be coming to see you and DS2. We are so proud of our little Grandson. We can't wait to see and hold him. See you soon." to which I wrote back that I still wasn't feeling well or up for visitors and we would let them know asap when I was feeling better. Well, that chance never came, cause they showed up, unannounced, at 9am. I was literally standing, in my hospital gown, bleeding on the floor when they showed up (tmi, sorry). I had been dealing with pp bleeding issues, still wasn't feeling well, and in pain. They walked right into the room, as I attempted to hobble into the bed and cover myself up (I am super modest). DH, again, just let this all happen, because he feels stuck in the middle and can't say no to them. I was so livid that a "situation" had happened a second time with them and DH did nothing to stop it....we ended up getting in an argument in the hospital room after they left. It was awful. DH is now in therapy learning how to deal with his family and these situations, for whatever that's worth.
So....if you made it through.....here we are. Pregnant with #3....and DREADING a repeat of any of this. This is probably our last baby. I just don't want any of this drama. DH and I talked about it a little bit, but I feel like it's almost not worth it, because when it comes down to it, he's going to cave to whatever they say or want to do. I'm honestly thinking of asking the hospital to just not let them in. I don't mind having visitors, but the situation has just become hostile and makes me so anxious. I just want ONE birth experience that isn't overshadowed by their BS.
Any advice or tips? Am I being too harsh? I just want some peaceful time with my newborn!