http://opinionator.blogs.nytimes.com/2013/05/13/i-was-groped-on-the-subway/

I read this article this morning and I got flashbacks to the times I've been groped and felt helpless. The first (few) times were all on the very-crowded rush hour Subte in Buenos Aires. I had a spanish class that started at 8 am and the subways there are like Japan-- when the doors slide open, you see a wall of people inside the subway car---but still, people just turn their backs to the crowd and shove their way in, backwards. No one complains, everyone is used to it and it happens on every stop.

So after missing several trains a day for my first week in B.A., I gave up and joined in the craziness of turning backwards and pushing myself into the car. And then I started getting groped. It happened at least once a week. Sometimes it was so subtle, I couldn't tell if they meant it or it was accidental. It was so crowded, even though I would turn around and try to confront the groper, I couldn't tell who did it, since there would be 3-4 people pressed right up against me. Sometimes it was downright unmistakable....an outride grab on my butt. Once, a guy tried to slip his hand inside my skirt to grab! That time, I just started flinging my elbows behind me in every direction, not caring if I hit innocent people or not.

The last two times were both in Guatemala, one year apart. It was almost like I got a butt grab on the one year anniversary of my first butt grab in Guatemala. The first happened in Antigua, on a rainy night when I was walking with a girl friend. We both had umbrellas and the rain was loud, so we didn't even hear anyone walking up behind us---until he pulled my skirt up and grabbed--hard--my butt. I screamed and tried to hit him with my umbrella, but he ran away quickly. It was shocking, but since I was with a friend on a somewhat crowded street, we laughed it off.

A year later, I was in the mountain town of Xela, and I was walking home alone--but in a "nice" area of town, and it was only 8 pm. This time was much scarier, because as I was only a block from my rented room....I realized that particular street was deserted and I sped up my steps. Once again, it was raining. I was wearing a rain coat and had an umbrella....I wasn't wearing anything the least bit attractive. Out of literally nowhere, I felt a butt-grab. I was terrified......and I whirled around to see a man on a BIKE pedaling away....he did a drive-by-butt grab!.

I fairly ran back to my apartment. Being alone, it was much more sinister. All night, I replayed what I "should have done" in my head. I should have turned faster--I should have pushed him off his bike--I should have asked a friend to walk the 4 blocks with me---I shouldn't have stayed out till 8 pm.

The one thing all of those experiences has in common was that I had a major language barrier. I didn't have the words in Spanish to appropriately scream obscenities or tell the perp he should be ashamed of himself. And that was the worst part.

Has this ever happened to you? How will you prepare your daughters to handle this? I don't want to scare my daughter into not experiencing the world, but I want to give her the tools to handle these things.

If you read the comments on the NYT article, these experiences seem so common for women. =(