My son bit a little girl on monday at daycare. They were fighting over a toy and he bit her arm. Thank goodness there was no mark. But I feel like an awful parent. Did anyone else have a LO that was a biter? What did you do? The daycare said it was common at his age... But man, what a bad way to start the day.
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We got a note this week that she was not using her listening ears or her gentle touches. That wasn't fun either.
Biting is hard. Does he ever try at home to bite? Our center always recommends teething tablets if its teething related.
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@T.H.O.U.: No, that's why I'm in shock. They said it was probably due to teething. He has been teething a bunch lately.
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I'm not there yet so I can't offer advice . . . but I can say that I was a biter and a hair puller (mostly toward my brother!) and I managed to avoid juvie hall and a life of crime.
NOTE: That was my version of humor . . . I am sorry your day started this way!
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@MsLipGloss: hahahaha, that made me smile..
I called daycare earlier crying asking if he was going to get kicked out... aghhh, dang hormones...
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My sister was a biter, so hard that she would make others bleed..in KINDERGARTEN!
So, they called my mom down to talk to her and my mom walked right in there and bit my sister really hard on her arm and my sister never bit another kid again. Ha
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@littlek: Gah - so stressful! I am sure (seeing as it was B's first offense!) that he is not going to be kicked out. (((hugs)))
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@littlek: Wagon Jr. went through a biting phase. I was going to blog about it but I just couldn't!! I did not want to acknowledge that I was the parent of a biter. I really felt like it was the end of the world. It was so hard because I had no control over the situation (he had NEVER even GONE to bite anyone in our presence... he only did it at school when we weren't around). He once broke skin with a bite. It was a really dark time in our household...!!!
Luckily he did this kind of late in his class (he's younger than almost all the kids in his class, and probably learned from seeing other kids biting, and getting bitten, which he did multiple times!) so he was able to talk and understand us when we talked. So we would have long talks about biting each night and each morning on the way to school. We would have him repeat over and over that he wouldn't bite today, and why biting is bad.
The phase passed relatively quickly (and he did have one or two more incidents later) and it's all behind us now, but man, while we were in it I literally felt like a failure as a parent and a human being!!! We actually had a talk with his teachers and the preschool director (they offered us a meeting if we wanted to talk about it, and we took them up on it) and all they did was reassure us that it was common, many kids go through this, and they were doing everything they could to address it, and WJ was doing really well with trying every day not to bite. You could almost tell that they've had this talk with parents a million times.
One of the many reasons why I'm so thankful he's in an amazing daycare. They have so many years of experience with kids who have gone through these exact issues before!!!
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@MrsTiz: That is hilarious!
The daycare said the policy for biting only starts once you realize you are biting. I guess when you are almost 1 you don't really "get" that biting isn't the answer. I think we may need to start reading daily books on sharing.
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@littlek: oh also, there was a little girl in his first class who was classified as a biter (as in, she bit every day and nothing they did would make her stop). Her older brother was a biter too. They very simply switched her to a different class (the next age up) and voila, no more biting. Sometimes it just takes a change of scenery and people. Plus I think being with the older kids helped her and challenged her so she was too distracted or whatever to bite.
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@mrs. wagon: Thank you for sharing! I am so embarrased and thought I was alone.
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My oldest LO bit me once...I bit her back....it never happened again.
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@littlek: this is exactly why I wanted to blog about it...!!! I felt so alone and horrible, and as time went on and we talked to other parents about it we realized we were very much not alone. But I'm just too afraid of the judgey people who haven't gone through this experience who will lecture me about how I should have pulled my kid from daycare or how he's victimizing other kids in his class... etc etc.
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@mrs. wagon: I'm afraid of judgey people too. I already get judged for putting LO in a daycare.
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@mrs. wagon: thank you for sharing! I took a few classes in early childhood a while back, and we covered "biters" in daycare. The instructors discussed both sides of the issue, and definitely understood the "biter's parents'" dilemma too! The parents were never blamed/condemned
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My DD went to daycare and EVERY KID BITES!! Don't feel horrible about it especially if he is teething. It is definitely normal and they do not condemn the parents. Kids often do not bite at home. It's a completely different environment at daycare with kids getting into each other's personal space all day long so stuff happens.
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@MrsLilybugg: Yes, it's hard because you can't see it. And especially if your LO only had it happen at daycare, there's not much I can do, since I didn't see it happen. I'm definitely going to watch him going forward though.
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@Andrea: Thanks, I'm starting to feel better. When I talked to the daycare, it seemed like it was pretty common especially based on LOs age and the fact that he's teething.
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@littlek: yes, being able to blame it on teething when they're as young as your LO, that should definitely give you some peace of mind! When they're old enough to know better (and uh, they already have all their teeth...) and you hear about the biting during fights over toys, hitting with chairs, etc etc... that's when things get REALLY ugly.
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@mrs. wagon: I really appreciate your comments. There are already so many insecurities related to parenting and being a good parent, that when something like this happens it makes you doubt your ability to parent even more so. Does he do this because I don't spend enough time? Am I doing the right things when we play together? Did I teach him this was appropriate? Aggghhh..
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@littlek: Did you see Chopsuey119's blog post about biting? I thought it was really great!
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@mrbee: Yes, I did and I re-read it after the incident. I was trying to think if we do that and we don't blow raspberries on him. So I'm not quite sure where he learned this behavior.
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@MrsTiz: @Pumpkinspice: lol! Amazing that worked!
@mrs. wagon: thanks for sharing!
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My own lo is still little baby but I just wanted to say it IS common, don't stress too much.
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@shopaholic: lol she sure didn't like how it felt. My middle one didn't do it that I can remember. And the baby has no teeth yet so we will see lol
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@littlek: we've never blown raspberries or play bitten either! Our daycare said it's common with teething as well.
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@MsLipGloss: I'm so relieved that Brennen isn't going to prison!!!
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from my coworker's stories, biting is pretty common and you're not alone. just wanted to say you haven't done anything wrong and your child is still a great kid.
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Ha! Listen, my LO isn't in daycare yet, but yesterday she bit me on the arm pretty hard. So I definitely think it's common, though I agree that it sucks to have other parents know about it. Hopefully it is just teething related and he'll get over it soon
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DD went through several biting phases, it was usually when she was at the tail end of the age range for her daycare class (she was pretty much equal biter and bitee). We were worried but daycare said it was a developmental thing and that they would change some things in the classroom to help.
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My LO will only bite me. I don't know where she learned it, she's not in day care and we don't even play bite because I've heard on here that it will lead to real biting. She gets this smirk on her face before she does it, she totally knows what she's doing! I always tell her that mouths aren't for biting, they're for kisses, and then give her lots of kisses. It distracts her for a little bit, but she'll do it later so it obviously isn't the answer.
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