Last night, Xander took over two hours to go to sleep after we put him to bed. He just kept crying for us and didn't seem to want us to leave him.
Tonight I've gone in there once, took him to the potty, sang him an extra song, gave him an extra hug and kiss and told him I wasn't coming back. He's been crying/whining for almost an hour now...
Should I go back in and check on him again? Or is it okay to let him keep crying?
eggplant / 11861 posts
@Adira: Can he tell you if something was wrong?! Maybe a nightmare?!
GOLD / wonderful coconut / 33402 posts
Is he sick? Ear infection?
Could just be a phase. Mine is calling/crying for us a lot more. We leave her door cracked and it seems to help calm her down.
honeydew / 7303 posts
@Adira: we're currently battling a bedtime staller. Usually my daughter gets super angry if we don't come back so I end up going back in. If she didn't get hysterical I would let her cry/whine!
I try to be super boring a firm about no more water/getting up/band aids/ whatever she is requesting. I also try not to act frustrated with her though it's hard
pineapple / 12526 posts
Yes, it's fine. He's doing typical toddler bedtime stalling and you're enabling him. You told him you're not coming back, if you go check again you're just telling him not to take you seriously.
I'm willing to be sweet and snuggle and play around all day long. But bedtime is bedtime in our house, and we don't play around unless there is something legitimately wrong.
cantaloupe / 6885 posts
Eta: Oops wrong thread!
Hope he falls asleep quickly tonight for you !
nectarine / 2987 posts
For my kids if they're fussing and whining I would definitely let them work it out. But both my kids hit a crying point where it sounds different and then they need help to calm down. So, if I warned LO that he needed to go to sleep and it didn't sound like he was ramping up I would leave him alone. If it sounded like he was working himself up I would go in with a calm, firm, brief reminder that it is time to calm down and be quiet so his body can get the rest it needs. Then I would leave again.
wonderful pomelo / 30692 posts
@FaithFertility: He hadn't fallen asleep, so I don't think a nightmare was the issue. Though we have had rough nights when it's been windy out!
@Smurfette: He was sick a few days ago, which is why I checked on him a million times yesterday, but he seemed fine today, so I don't know! I hope it's just a phase.
@yellowbird: Yeah, he wasn't being hysterical, which is why I let him cry for so long! But it's still hard to listen to.
@loveisstrange: Thanks! That's what I was thinking too.
And thanks everyone! He actually stopped crying soon after I posted this!! I think he's asleep!!
hostess / wonderful grape / 20803 posts
How long has it been happening? He's almost 3 right? As our son transitioned away from his nap he took forever to go to sleep and delay tactics and crying were at an all time high!
eggplant / 11861 posts
@Adira: Maybe from night before?! Just a thought!
Glad he isn't crying!!!!!
wonderful pomelo / 30692 posts
@MrsSRS: Yep, Xander has that noticeable change in his cry too when he's ramped up. Luckily that didn't happen tonight!
honeydew / 7917 posts
I did it recently with my 2 year old LO. It was tough since he is a stubborn kid, but sleep was turning into a nightmare after he recovered from the stomach virus. We only had to do it for one or two nights, and his sleep returned back to normal.
wonderful pomelo / 30692 posts
@winniebee: He's almost 3! One more month. He's been trying to stall bedtime for months now, but only the last two nights have been really bad like this.
coconut / 8483 posts
Ugh. My son is almost two and cries himself to sleep for every nap and every single night. Its horrible! Anything we have tried just extends it so we leave him and he stops within a min or two. I wish he would just go to sleep happy though 
nectarine / 2987 posts
It sucks listening to kids cry, but knowing that tipping poi t makes me feel better. It helps me remember that there is a difference between an "I don't like what my parents want me to do" cry and an "I need my mommy" cry.
hostess / wonderful grape / 20803 posts
@Adira: you might try and shorten his nap if he is napping a long time at daycare. If he's taking more than 30 mins to fall asleep he may not be tired yet! T ditched his nap at 34 months
wonderful pomelo / 30692 posts
@yin: Xander had a stomach bug too! He actually threw up three times during the night. That was Tuesday night. Wednesday he slept fine, but the last two nights he's been really resistant to go to bed. Maybe he's afraid of being sick in bed again?
wonderful pomelo / 30692 posts
@winniebee: Now that he's in preschool, I don't get a sheet about his day, so I don't know how long he is napping, but it wouldn't be longer than two hours. But maybe he just doesn't need the nap anymore... Or hopefully the last two nights were just a fluke.
pineapple / 12526 posts
@Adira: C is almost 4 and we still go through weeks where she will play or cry or mess around for a long period of time at bedtime. She'll do it for a few days and then she'll go back to going to bed pretty quickly and quietly. We just went through a good long phase of endless bedtime excuses ("I need to wash my hands" "I forgot my toy" "I need xyz"). It's super frustrating. Hopefully the last couple nights are a fluke!
honeydew / 7917 posts
@Adira: Maybe give him a few more nights to recover. My LO took 10 days to improve, and it was still a rough time seeing him slowly return back to normal. While sick, his sleep wasn't consistent. Some nights were good. Some nights were not so great. Hope his sleep gets better soon.
wonderful pomelo / 30692 posts
@loveisstrange: That's... not encouraging... 
@yin: That's good to know, thanks!
GOLD / wonderful coconut / 33402 posts
@Adira: mine takes 30-60, usually on the longer side, to fall asleep every night. No matter how tired she is.
papaya / 10343 posts
I hate when people tell me to trust my gut but... I'd trust your gut. 
In theory I think CIO is fine for toddlers. For my kid, once we got over the initial hump of sleep training and she had months of good sleeping under her belt, when she has weird nights we do what we need to to help her sleep. For her, I don't think she's had any really bad nights that weren't related to illness (even if she didn't seem ill the day before). But if you're confident he's fine, then stay strong!
wonderful pomelo / 30692 posts
@Smurfette: That's good to know! Is she usually whining or okay being left to her own devices before falling asleep?
pomelo / 5258 posts
@Adira: We had a really rough night last night too which has been rare for us. I went back in because DD was screaming out of control for a while. I got her calmer by reciting one of her favorite stories. Then I told her she had two minutes before mommy would leave. She was still crying a little when I left but no more screaming. Tonight's bedtime routine has started. Hopefully it goes more smoothly.
wonderful pomelo / 30692 posts
@Corduroy: Good luck!! Hopefully your night will be better than ours! Although tonight was better than last night.
GOLD / wonderful coconut / 33402 posts
@Adira: some whining, more lately, but usually she just chills in bed.
pomegranate / 3845 posts
@winniebee: @Adira: my LO is a beast to put down on school nights because they think he needs a nap and I don't. On the weekends he doesn't nap and he's down by 7:30ish without a fight and sleeps 12-13 hours. It might be that last nap.
wonderful pear / 26210 posts
I read somewhere that CIO isn't as effective for toddlers as it is for smaller children, I wish I could remember where and direct you to it!
It's not that I think it's a bad idea, but there might be other things that work better. I'll try to think on it today.
wonderful pomelo / 30692 posts
@looch: Let me know if you come up with anything! I ended up just letting him cry and he fell asleep shortly after I posted about it.
persimmon / 1363 posts
@Adira: I find that mine goes through phases like this, and usually she just needs a little extra love. I go in there about twice and the second time I get her what she wants I say "this is the last time I am going, is there anything else you need?". Then when I come back I ask her if she needs extra love, and she says yes, so we do a big long hug, then I put her back down and say " okay it's time for sleeping now, and she usually goes to sleep. Sometimes she cries a bit. Interestingly, Janet Lansbury says sometimes they just need to cry a bit to work it out. And if there's ever something majorly wrong, she will scream, so I don't worry about a little tears and I am not a CíO person.
GOLD / wonderful coconut / 33402 posts
@Adira: maybe try moving bedtime back 30 mins tonight and see if that helps.
pear / 1616 posts
For my 3 yo I find that she stalls a lot when she's more tired. So maybe he needs to sleep alittle earlier? I also find that cio doesn't work well at this age for us at least. She's able to communicate what she wants so if she does cry I ask her what she needs. If hes not able to communicate anything I'm guessing he's overtired and just can't settle? In that case I'd just let him cio. But I'd probably do one check to make sure nothing else is wrong
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