(I promise, I'm almost done with the birthday party threads...)
Yes or no to opening gifts at the birthday party? One year olds may be the exception because they don't really "open" anything so let's talk about birthdays beyond 1.
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we don't open gifts at birthday parties with a lot (more than family) of guests.
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Friend parties? no
Apparently its a big no-no around here because you know someone might get their feelings hurt if you don't like their gift
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I would be afraid of making someone who forgot or couldn't afford much feel bad. Whereas at a shower that's the whole point - gifts - I think of a birthday as more of just a celebration.
That being said, we didn't do many birthday parties growing up so maybe I'm not the best to answer
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We probably will. (LO is 18 months, so we haven't yet.). I think it's a good opportunity to teach LOs about being gracious and polite. When we attend a party where they open gifts, it will be a good opportunity to teach LO about celebrating others. Plus, I always like to see people open my gifts to them.
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I would prefer not to but our families always insist on seeing DS and DD open their gifts. DS gets very overwhelmed so I wish we could just open a few and take the rest home to open later.
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i'm not a fan as i want birthday parties to be about spending time with family and friends, not gifts. i don't want people to feel like they HAVE to bring something.
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We don't, I think the kids would rather play than watch the birthday kid open gifts.
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Especially no if you're at a rented room (museum, inside play gym, etc.), there's no time to do it and kids just want to play.
We invited grandparents and a close friend back to the house for snacks if they wanted to see J open his presents. Other parents seemed to get it but the older crew really wanted to see him open his gifts.
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Interesting thoughts. We have been to two parties this year. One was rushed at a play space and there was no time for presents. The other was not rushed and she opened them right after cake. Ours is at our house so I was thinking of letting her open them since there will be no rush to get out of the building or space.
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@birdofafeather: this too
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I prefer (as an adult purchaser of gifts!) for them to be opened at the party. But I don't care either way.
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This topic was brought up once before and it just perplexed me. I'm sure it's just my area, but at showers and birthday parties, there's always a gift opening time where everyone watches the giftee open all of their presents. I can't imagine it not being that way.
That being said I definitely see why some wouldn't want to. I wouldn't care either way.
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We did for E's second. She loves to open gifts now and we were at a park, so we were on our own schedule
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It's kind of expected in my circle. I feel neutral about it...So we will probably continue to do it for all of her parties just because it's the norm.
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No. I've actually never been to a kid's birthday party where they open gifts. I prefer DD to open her gifts at home.
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We do. I love to watch kids open all their gifts (not just mine) cause I love to see their faces when they're being spoiled. It's the same thing as watching my kids open their stuff on Christmas morning. I just love their reactions.
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@artsyfartsy: same. Is this regional? With the exception of a party at a play place where time was limited, I have never been to a bday party where the birthday child didn't open his/her presents, usually right after cake. I'm including current Bday parties and every party I went to as a child
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For the kids in my family, always. They can get all excited over the gifts and it's really fun to watch. The adults usually don't bother because we just give each other money if wet can't decide on a gift. But if it's an actual gift, it also gets opened on the spot!
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When we did the two year old birthday circuit last year people tended to open the presents at parties at home and not open them at parties away from home. I like not opening them so I can pace LO and give them to her over time. Also, there were a LOT of duplicate gifts which was a little awkward.
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I thought you were "supposed" to, I thought it was considered rude not to. I guess culturally it is/was a no-no not to in all the places I've lived.
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We did for C's first birthday, but not for H's (this past weekend). By the time we got done with lunch, playing, and cake, he was exhausted. Plus, I really hate opening gifts in front of an audience (and seeing them being opened), so I wanted to skip it this time around.
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I don't have a LO, but I've never considered not opening the gifts. I always opened them growing up and I've never been to a birthday party (friends/family members kids) where the gifts haven't been opened.
I know most people, including myself like to see people open their gifts. I've also never been anywhere where people have made a big deal about someone not bringing a gift, so I don't think that would be an issue.
I can see if you run out of time, but if that's not an issue I would open them.
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We requested no gifts at LO's 1st birthday party and will do the same for future birthdays, I believe.
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Yes but we haven't had "real" parties just small family ones. It just depends on how many people are there and how long it'll take IMO.
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Agree with @artsyfartsy, I never even knew this was a thing until someone brought it up on here. I've never been to a birthday party (kids or adults) where gifts weren't opened at the party. I'm in the South, if that matters.
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It will be pretty hard not to let her! DD1 was literally stalking the presents like a predator at her small family party. We only had a few presents though; not sure what we would do if there were a ton. That's always boring for guests, I think. But generally, coordinating that during cake time would be perfect.
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Most parties I've been to gifts are opened on the spot. But I love the idea of not opening them. I think I also lean towards requesting no gifts. I like the idea of a birthday being about friends, family and time together rather than gifts. But if all her friends get presents at their parties it might be hard to stick with.
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We were pressured to have D open his gifts at his 1st birthday party (thanks, MIL). At his 2nd, he just started tearing into them when our backs were turned, so we just let it go. I don't really want it to continue, though. I think it's really awkward and it can make people feel bad if they didn't/couldn't bring a gift.
Hubs' family does this for every occasion. Even Christmas morning - youngest to oldest opens their gifts one a time while everyone else watches. I despise it.
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I've never been to a birthday party where gifts were not opened as a part of the party. There is always a present opening time! I didn't realize this was even a consideration.
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@SweetiePie: Like I said above, I've never been to a party where they didn't open gifts. But I do remember when I was about 13, my mom mentioned after my party that one of my friends looked sad when she saw what my grandmother had gotten me because it was so big/better than what she had gotten. Though I don't know that it would have been as much of an issue if they hadn't been very similar gifts (just one much bigger). And for what it's worth, I loved them both equally!
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My son is turning two soon, and he won't open gifts at his party. None of his friends opened gifts at their parties either. At that age, the kids just want to run and play, and they don't have the attention span to watch someone open a bunch of presents. They also don't understand the concept of giving a gift, so the parents don't want the kids to start fighting over all the toys. It's so much easier to open them when everyone has left.
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We always have but recently I find the trend is not to. I prefer when they do, but it's not a big deal either way.
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@aprild: I was actually surprised with how well my LO understood gift giving at 2. She knew which gift she brought and was excited to see her friend open it. She would say things like "I get this present for my friend!"
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@Truth Bombs: That's impressive! Some kids are more advanced than others. I have to hide the gift from my son and not let him see me wrap it, because he will start screaming to play with it. Even if it's a toy he already has!
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I think we will have the main part of the party and then at the like two hour mark if people are still hanging open gifts. I agree DD likes seeing her friends open what she "got" them. I hope it also instills a sense of giving too!
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@Torchwood: mind if I ask what state? We moved to North Carolina 10 years ago but neither of us grew up in the south. I'd like to stick with what's normal for our region!
I just worry because there are going to be 8 kids and 2 of our childless friends there. That's a lot of gifts to open for an almost 3 year old. Maybe we'll just play it by ear and see how the day goes.
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@mediagirl: I grew up in TN and GA.
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It tends not to be done in my circle when you get to parties held outside the home.
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@Torchwood: Really, even adults? I have never been to an adult birthday party where gifts ARE opened! And I am from the South, too.
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42 comments