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Depending on the puppy’s personality, he may be trying to stake out his position within the pack. Sounds like he sees your husband as alpha, but maybe he thinks that your and his positions are negotiable and he’s pushing you.

I would definitely call around to some trainers and behaviorists and see what they say!

Boo, that's a tough one. It's hard because he wants attention...and if you don't give it to him he gets mad...but if you do...it's just rewarding that behavior. Ha, that was like, not helpful whatsoever. Sorry.

Could you work on "giving him attention" by working on commands/training/walking (in other words, something that involves you paying attention to him but also YOU having the control)? Does your DH interact differently with puppy (is he more stern/serious)? The biting is not a fun one at all--I'm not even going to try to give advice on that one because I don't know what the best approach is!

Good luck, lady!

Be the boss but don't use any mean intimidation/fear/physical-y methods. From what I read awhile back (though I will say, it was on a bunch of dog forums, so totally biased!) Cesar's methods aren't exactly "respected" in dog world (again, I totally am not an expert whatsoever--that's just what I found when I was trying to work on behavior stuff with our last dog)...

@mrsbrewer I think you need to interact with your dog more, do the feedings, walking and playing. Make sure your pup sits when you're giving him food and he cannot have any until you release him from his sit. When he plays nicely with you reward with treats and when he doesnt say no and walk away. You want to him him associate good things with you and hopefully his behavior will be much better towards you.

I agree with @BunnyLove08’s suggestions. When you walk him, don’t give him a long leash and don’t let him pull you. Make him walk WITH/beside you, not in front of you, and when he pulls, stop and wait until he settles back down. Go at your pace, not his. Stop every block and make him sit and wait until YOU are ready to start walking again; so he gets the point that you are in control of him, not the other way around.

When he nips, be firm with him that his behavior is not acceptable. All puppies nip some, they just need to learn that isn’t how we play. Don’t hit him or yell/scream; but look at him straight in the face and be firm, calm and in control.

He definitely doesn’t hate you – dogs are pack animals and need to know where in the pack they fit in. Some of them will try to bump up to a higher place in the pack given the chance, others won’t push as much.

@MrsBrewer: I had to work hard on making my dog recognize me as the alpha. It just takes time. I'm soft-spoken, but after working with Bea, she recognizes that I am the boss as well as my husband.

I have this exact problem as well. On the first day that my dog arrived, he climbed into my husband's lap and snarled at me! It was terrible.

You are lucky in that he is still a puppy and I think that many of the training tips listed above, plus time and patience, will work. If you really feel stuck, having a trainer come work with you one-on-one is a good, although pricey, option.

Our dog is a shelter dog and we adopted him when he was three. He is one stubborn dog! We have hired multiple "aggression specialists" and have tried all sorts of different training techniques. It's been 5 years and it's gotten a whole lot better but it's still an issue for us. We have a constant battle for dominance! Luckily, he's just a 9 pound little guy, but of course growling is not acceptable for a dog of any size.

I have found that eliminating situations that set him off is the best thing that works for us. For example, I am the first one to get up and get ready for work in the morning. When I would try to return to our bedroom after a shower, he would become extremely aggressive and guard the door like he was guarding his den, with my husband inside. So now, as soon as I am up for the day, I make him his breakfast and he comes trotting out of the bedroom to eat it. Once he is out, I gate off the bedroom door so he can't get back inside and it eliminates the morning growling problem.

I'm sorry that you're having to deal with this. I cried a lot during the first few months that we had our dog and my husband was ready to send him back. It can be really frustrating! But I think you have his youth on your side and that, with a lot of hard work and a variety of strategies, he will love and respect all members of your little pack!

Yes, please be careful with Cesar M. He has some great common sense solutions, but a lot of bad advice as well. No dog trainer I know would endorse his methods.

@Chibee gives great advice--leaving the room is the best punishment. Not making him gag by putting your fingers down his throat or trying to show him who is boss by jabbing at him.

Dr. Yin is awesome. Also check out http://www.dogstardaily.com/

If you head out on a walk and expect a controlled heal without formal training, you're setting everyone up for failure. This is a really hard thing to master, especially with an energetic puppy! You may want to play ball or something before you head out for a walk just to get that first bit of energy burned off. Let him sniff, it burns a lot of energy and is very interesting to him. He is in front of you because he has four legs and is faster, not because he's trying to be the boss.

I know puppies can be frustrating, but it's also very rewarding. You'll get there, I promise!

Another person popped into mind: Susan Garrett. That women is no joke, and none of her dogs walk over her, I promise! But she has the phrase "be the cookie." She emphasizes the importance of engagement with your dog--being the person your dog wants to be with and work for and, yes, play with. Check this out:

http://susangarrettdogagility.com/2011/03/be-the-cookie/

Training should be fun, and being so focused on showing your dog you are the boss is not only unnecessary, but it also takes away from that joy.

@MrsBrewer: puppies are pains. I love my girl, but there were times that I was so worn out by the nipping that I left the room crying. I felt like a 12 year old, but along with the pain of those sharp teeth, my feelings would be hurt! You can't help it but to be fed up.

I raised one puppy all by myself and said I would NEVER do it again solo. I would have been up for an older dog, but my husband really wanted the experience of raising a puppy. About a week or so in, he realized just how much is involved. I was secretly pleased b/c I felt he had a new found respect for the work I had done with my last dog.

I think you'll love puppy class. There's always at least one other dog that is crazy and makes your dog look like a mellow saint. Along with the training, it becomes like a support group with everyone sharing their frustrations.

I try to remind myself that they are still babies and they actually do want to please. They also go through phases so quickly. Hang in there!

@MrsBrewer: It probably took about a month and a half. But, in that time, I also had to work with my husband, as he had a tendency to jump in to save the day.

I feel you. there was definitely a period of about 6 months where of course i loved our puppy but it was really hard to like him. he was very much testing his boundaries to see what we'd let him get away with. Finding a good trainer to work with is great. We went to pet smart and we used the clicker training method our dog is not very food/treat driven. Also once thy hit the year mark puppies tend to calm down as they turn into dogs.

As for the nipping and jumping, the recommended advice is to ignore the action - no response. it didnt work well with our dog, but he's not a fan of loud noises. we filled a baby food jar with beads and pennies. when hes was being esp naughty we'd shake the jar to startle/distract him. with in a week if he saw us picking up the jar he'd back off the behavior before we even shook it.

We raised a German shepherd pup , and let me tell you puppies bite! We had a rude awakening! You think you got the crazy one from the litter, or perhaps you were envisioning a sweet yellow lab from a Downy commercial but the truth is, 98% of dogs exhibit typical puppy behavior. They will pursue you, they will push your boundaries, they scratch, they get out of control...everything! They are extremely intelligent and very curious! However you can teach an old and young dog new tricks

My dog did the same thing...he responded best to my husband , but would seek me out, and be terrible. I was unsure, and scared due to the nipping and craziness, so he naturally gravitated to respect my husband cause he was calm and very much in control. very clear.

This is not something that will work itself out overnight. Puppies need lot of rules, clear boundaries and consistency. You may not show it psychically, but your energy is part of the equation.

If you don't already have one, get a crate. Wear jeans, shoes and even kitchen gloves if you need to. Keep him on leash in the house so you have better control and can administer corrections to help make better communication on what you find acceptable. Have a space to put him ( crate, spare bedroom) that is safe for him and you but can be sort of a time out from him. If you are frustrated, upset, angry, it will only spur him on even more. He is like a horse taking advantage of a novice rider.

Ignore bad behavior, don't use a lot of verbal as he may only get more excited about things or make the wrong associations with verbal commands. Also, some dogs are very sensitive to the touch, so grabbing and all that stuff may make it worse as well. Praise him for what he does right. Exercise him , challenge his mental exercise as well with games. Walk with both you and the husband, switching off simultaneously who leads him during the walk. Cary a stick like a staff, something that gives you a divider between yourself and the dog, it will help with your energy and boost your confidence. ** and I don't mean to hit him with it, just walk with it.

I'm sorry you are going through this and that you may have to re-home him. It will get better and he can get trained, but only under the right amount of patience, education, energy and good ole fashion time!! I promise when they get older they grow out of things and learn.

Also I recommend "I'm Listening With a Broken Ear by Vicky Kaseorg" its free on amazon with a kindle. Its a fun read, and you may be able to relate

Bitter apple spray helped me a lot with the nipping during the puppy phase! I got my dog in the summer time so I would spray it on my flip flops and feet. I also sprayed it on the bottom of our couch since she really liked to chew on that!

I agree with what everyone else is saying too. Even if you're a professional dog trainer, it takes time and a TON of repetition with a puppy. So don't give up if your methods don't seem to be working at first. Preventing bad behavior by crating or gating off areas of the house is also extremely helpful and can save your sanity!

shake a can of pennies. noise aversion helps.

do you have a crate? you can crate train your dog. never push your dog in it because he will associate it with something bad. it could be his safe haven and a place to rest.

Have you look into/tried implementing Dr. Yin's learn to earn program? It tries to teach impulse control in dogs, and it sounds like he needs a little of that. Like most puppies he has no manners, and you want to teach him those. Once you've got him able to do something like sit for you consistently (learn to earn helps here), you can work on more complex things like cat chasing. Until then, he may need to be leashed in the house so you don't have to constantly chase him to get him to stop chasing cats. Here is a link on training out that kind of chasing, but you need that foundation first (there are learn to earn links at the heart end of the article). Impulse control should also help you address the biting. This will take time, but once he's trained it will be worth the effort.

http://drsophiayin.com/blog/entry/how-do-i-train-my-dog-to-stop-chasing-the-chickens-cat-rat