On Tuesday, I found out that my dad is sick with COVID. When I found out, it turned out that he had been sick for 2 weeks at that point. My mother insisted that no one tell me (my brother knew as well) so that I didn't worry. My dad also told me that my mother had it first (she works for assisted living, where she was exposed, he got it from her) but was thankfully mostly asymptomatic. Thank God, my dad (despite being very high risk with chronic hypertension and a 40 year smoking history) never had breathing issues and has managed it at home and is now starting to get back to normal.
I am livid, enraged, sad, disappointed - all the things. This is not the first time my mother has withheld information from me on the pretense of me not worrying, so I'm not in the slightest bit surprised she did this, but it's hitting me much harder this time emotionally than it had in the past. We have not talked about this since I found it - she has not said a word other than calling out "don't be mad" at the end of the nightly bedtime Facetime call she does with my daughter every night. I have not said a word, even though my therapist told me I should confront her. I definitely have a lot that I want to say, but I'm nearly certain it won't make a bit of difference. I doubt she's at all remorseful - when I've told her in the past how it impacts me when she doesn't tell me things (because duh, I still worry but now I'm also angry on top of it), she just brushed me off. She's acting like everything is fine and since we don't live close and there's really no impetus to resolve this and she has this standing time with my kid every night, she's not going to engage me herself. I imagine that I'll get over it eventually, but right now I'm going everywhere between wanting to loudly blast her to telling her she's never going to get time with my kid alone again (under normal circumstances, she takes her for a couple weeks in the spring and summer and now I'm wondering if she wouldn't tell me if something went wrong with my kid while in her care on the pretense of me not worrying) to just never talking to her again.