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Do you plan on only working-part time for a set period of time; or do you want to work part-time on an open-ended basis? If your husband isn't on board with the financial loss; do you think it might make a difference to him if you both agreed you would only be doing this for 1 year (or whatever time frame), and after that period you would be going back to work fulltime? It's obviously easier to make up lost retirement income for a short period of time, and maybe you guys could make some more solid plans to do that after your period of part-time work is up?

I would say just give yourself some time once LO arrives. I'm seeing a lot of people on blogs willing to do anything to make staying at home part of the time work once LO arrives. Then your DH might be more willing to get on board.

I'm planning on only working 20 hrs a week, and LO arrives in 4 weeks! Ah!

Personally I wouldn't be comfortable staying home if it affected our ability to contribute to retirement savings. If it just meant cutting back on luxuries that would be one thing, but if it's going to affect your future I think that's something you should really consider. Also, I always think it's unfair for a mom to stay home when her husband isn't 100% on board. It puts a lot of extra pressure on your husband to provide for the family, and he will likely become resentful if he feels like that situation is not what he signed up for. So while I do think you guys should continue to research and talk about options I would be careful about pushing too hard to talk your husband into something he really isn't comfortable with.

The fact that you state you wouldn't be able to cover all your expenses unless you start cutting into your retirement fund would worry me. What happens if there's an emergency and you need cash? Would you have enough on hand to cover it? It sounds like it doesn't benefit you financially, so I think you need to look at whether the other benefits your family will get will be worth it. Especially if it will cause your husband extra stress financially.

My Mom worked more than full time while we were growing up. She had a full time job, and then waitressed at night part time. My Dad did the same- he had an office job, then played music at night. We didn't have any effects from it, and I have no resentment that I didn't have a SAHM or SAHD. It was just what we were used to. Kids are very adaptable!

I cut back my work schedule a bit when LO was about 6 months old... I'm not in the office on Fridays, and while I usually put in a couple hours on Friday, it's from home and not structured or anything (it's my catch-up day). My commute (nearly 2 hours/day total) was a big part of it, but I found that working far away 5 days a week was too much with a kid. Before LO, I could at least work off-peak hours a bit and minimize my commute to have more time, or run errands on my way home, or stuff like that, but I really find that I need that day home to get anything done. LO almost always goes to daycare anyways on Friday, so it's not like I'm home with him, but my Fridays (mostly) off are when I do all the week's laundry, and do some cleaning, and plan doctor's appointments or dental appointments for me and/or LO and/or the dog, and it's when I pay bills and make phone calls and go through the mail and do everything else that I don't have time for during the week, and don't want to spend my weekend on. If your LO is home with you on those two days, clearly you won't have that same kind of free time, but I think having an extra couple days at home is a.) really good for quality of life (unless finances are so stressful that it tips the balance)- it means that once everyone is home at night or on the weekends, we can have good quality family time instead of constantly trying to keep up with basic life stuff, and b.) it means I miss less work on the days I'm scheduled to be there... if I had to be in the office 5 days/week, I'd constantly be running out to appointments and stuff like that, whereas now I can just schedule everything for my days off, and when I'm in the office, I'm better able to concentrate on work since I have a designated time for all the other stuff in our lives.
I can't really help with your question about whether it's good for LO to be home with you an extra two days... financially, we could definitely handle me being a SAHM, but we've chosen not to go that route, so clearly I think my LO is fine being a full-time daycare kid
I also think a lot depends on how much your partner helps out. Working a full-time job is no joke... and I think if your DH wants you to keep on doing it, he definitely needs to be willing to do his share of daycare picking up and dropping off, and getting bottles together, and getting dinner ready, and all that kind of stuff.

@Adira: A few more thoughts from a full time mom.

- Its nice that LO is on the same schedule 5 days a week. I think if she were every other day, it would be harder to be on a good schedule.
- Would you get maternity leave benefits for kid #2 if you were part time?
- I am hoping to make go down to 30 hours a week when the kids are in school and starting activities. I want them to remember me at their sports and activities. They won't remember the extra hours at this age.

@Adira: That is great that you have every other Friday off. Jealous of that!

Glad that he can do the drop-off. Since DH travels most of the time, I will be doing both. I just hate that baby will be in day care for so long each day. He usually is home on Friday's so he will be in charge of drop offs for sure on Friday. Whether he is working from home or not!

@Adira: When LO arrived I moved my hours to 7:30-4:30. It is so much nicer to avoid traffic! Our daycare is about 30 minutes from work but the hours are 6:30-6:30.

Typically I get to daycare around 6:40, I nurse her one more time, and then I leave by 7:00 and get to work at 7:30. For pick ups, its nice to be home by 5:15 because she goes to bed around 7:30 pm.