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We went through this as well. I am glad I met with the LC because she was able to refer me to a different ped who was much more supportive of our wishes. We switched around 2 months and have been much happier ever since. LO is gaining with no problem and our new ped is wonderful. I will say we were having other issues with the original ped outside of BF so that also contributed to the switch. I figure we are going to have a long relationship with this person and we wanted to be as comfortable as possible with them.
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@beachbee: I'd love to switch, the more I think about just his attitude in general, the way he really doesn't listen to me, the more I want to switch. I highly doubt DH would allow it though. This ped is very close to our house and DH likes him.
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My nieces (twins) were born at 30 weeks and after getting home where exclusively breastfed with no fortifier. They were gaining great weight but did this and didn't tell their ped. So, it is possible.
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@septemberlove: your dh wnt allow you to switch pedis?! That's ridiculous...why does he get final say?? Especially if you can fid a pedi who has more up to date/accurate information on important things like breastfeeding.
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If your baby is gaining and growing, then you know they are getting enough. I see no reason why you can't try your plan... If there are problems, you could always go back to EP
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@septemberlove: DH saw how much anxiety our pedi caused me & caught on to his plow pretty quick... I think alot of pedi's do this:
Direct his concern to me, I would give him how I felt about said issue & the literature as to why I felt that way & then knowing he wasn't getting anywhere with me he'd look at DH and basically repeat his concern... thankfully DH knows all the same stuff I do so we were always on the same page.
Does this ^ sound even vaguely familiar? I seriously think doctors do this all the time b/c in so many cases dads are less informed on the particular issues.
I would do your research & share ALL OF IT, over & over with your DH to help change his perspective. In the end, even if DH didn't agree we would've switched (first because our pedi actually fired us) but really because I was a mess every visit! I couldn't deal with that stress of having to argue for myself & P anymore!
I really hope your LC appt goes well and your DH can start seeing the other side!
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Yikes, sound like you and your husband might benefit from some neutral support to talk all this through. Your breast feeding goals are huge - he needs to understand them and give you the support and understanding you need to meet them.
I would find a new ped absolutely. That is absolutely a fine weight gain. My daughter was born at 6 pounds at 41 weeks - and she certainly didn't put on three pounds in the first five weeks.
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I don't mean to butt into your relationship and personal life, but the comment that your DH wouldn't "allow" you to change peds worries me. Parenting is an equal responsibility, and at this point your choice of pediatrician affects you much more than it does him. If your pediatrician isn't the best choice for your son, convenience and preference take a back seat and your son's best interests take the front. He shouldn't have the option of making that decision without you.
I worry about a ped who would say those things. You need support, from him AND your DH. I hope an LC can help give you some support. -
I would definitely still meet with the LC... I didn't try as hard as I could have to get my son to breastfeed after his 10 day nicu stay (he was premature) and I regret it.
If I had to do it over, I would get something like this:
http://www.amazon.com/Health---meter-HDC100KD-01-Toddler-Scale/dp/B0009MFUZE/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1369350108&sr=8-1&keywords=baby+scale
and weigh him both before and after each feeding to see EXACTLY how much he got and record it. The one LC I saw did this and it was a relief to see exactly how much he got. I talked to a few others that I met randomly after my son was past a year and they said that the nurses in the NICU should have done this weight thing before and after each feeding instead of discouraging me from nursing him. So I would definitely look into this as a way to disprove his "you don't know what he's getting" argument.As for DH laying into you on wanting to meet an LC and saying that pumping isn't work... I prob would have smacked him across the face. You are a better woman than me!
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I got a chance to talk to DH this evening and tell him what was on my mind. He feels like if it isn't broken, why fix it? EP'ing is working just fine, in his mind. LO is thriving and gaining rapidly, so he doesn't understand why I want to change things and take the risk of messing up LO's tremendous progress
I told him that the bonding was my main focus, ensuring LO gets breastmilk for a year is a very close second, then it's also theoretically a time savings and could be easier once we get the hang of it (I wouldn't be mixing a bottle while holding a screaming baby and waiting for the bottle warmer to heat up the bottle, etc.)
He ended up saying he really didn't care one way or the other what I did after I explained that his weight gain would be checked and the LC wouldn't let him go without the appropriate nutrition.
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@runsyellowlites: yeah, sounds pretty familiar.
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@septemberlove: pumping is a PITA... you deserve a medal! glad you talked it out, but I hope he gets more on board supporting you or taking some of the workload off your shoulders (like washing pump parts, etc.). I'd definitely pursue looking for a different pediatrician who is more supportive of breastfeeding if it is important to you.
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Support. Meet with an IBCLC. Tell her the situation and then decide what to do. I am sure she has seen many cases like yours before and she will be experienced enough to tell you if EBF is good for your baby or if she really needs some extra boost.
And yes, I dont think u can do EP for 1 year. I did it between 8.5-10 months (LO won't nurse anymore by 8 months). I can't stand it.
ETA: What kind of ped is that??? Change to a woman doctor!!!
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Ask around for a BF friendly dr! Maybe at a la leche league meeting? Or ask your LC if she recommends another ped. I EP, too, but it was important that I chose a supportive dr who was educated in the BF department
I don't know much about preemies but my cousin had a 32-weeker and I remember her BFing him. He was only 4.5 lb at birth...I mean, at what point is your LO "big enough" to just skip the fortified stuff?
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@septemberlove: I hate that! Definitely find another pedi! I'm not supportive in bullying from providers & trying to back you in a corner by the divide & conquer to get your husband against what you think is best IS bullying! That leaves a bad taste in my mouth.
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@runsyellowlites: I was telling my mom about the appt and she said "doesn't he realize that LO is your baby and you'd do ANYTHING for him?!"
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@septemberlove: I thought the same thing!! Our original pedi was right around the corner and the one I was interested in switching to was much further away. And DH didn't seem to mind some of their opinions as much as I did. I think he thought i was being too sensitive to their advice. But I agree with other posts that it is a mutual decision, so I decided to have a heart to heart with DH. His point of view was if LO was having gaining issues, every pedi was going to tell us the same thing. When I explained to him that it was more than just their attitude on supplementing, that I felt they weren't personalizing the care and focusing on some of our unique needs with LO, I wasn't comfortable continuing to see them throughout her childhood. After that conversation DH was totally onboard and we interviewed the new pedi and never looked back! Honestly it was the best decision for us, and my only regret is that we didn't start with this office from the beginning!
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