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I think about that a lot. It's so crazy to me how much was determined about her at that very first moment. It's sort of nuts.

My mom brought this up to me because we did IVF with ICSI so one sperm was chosen to be injected into one egg. It's crazy to think that if the tech had chosen a different specimen I'd have a completely different baby!

Stuff like this blows my mind. It's so amazing how it all comes together to create these tiny miracles.

I think about this all the time, I just can't imagine A not being exactly as she is. She's just ace!

Just as our universe and this world were the result of so many random events, so is the creation of our beautiful children. Different egg, different sperm, different day, totally different outcome. And that moment of creation, where sperm meets egg is totally mundane. Some many hours after sex (or after egg retrevial), long after everyone has moved on to other occupations, egg and sperm quietly meet, randomly and this whole cascade of completely life altering events happens without any of our knowledge or understanding. Up until that very point, it was all randomness and as soon as the sperm penetrates the egg, the building blocks are completely formed. Then there is a whole new cascade of epigenetics, gene switching and inactivation and rearrangement that fine tune the product.

Add to my sense of wonder by considering that when our tiny girls are born, they already have their full complement of eggs... the major building block of their future babies. Cycle of life and biology!

The whole thing is mind boggling.

Sometimes I think it's fun to believe that there are these little pre-existing souls that choose us... but I'm not sure I always believe that.

@Mrs. Jacks: Yes to marveling that our daughters already have all the eggs that could become our little grandchildren! It's insane.

Very different! IMO

It truly is amazing, but I find that I have trouble letting my mind wander down this rabbit hole, because it eventually leads to worry about potential diseases, problems, etc., I don't know why. I try to just appreciate the wonderful little man that I have

@swedishfish: I think about this too (because we may do ICSI) like, you're handing over the fate of your future baby to a stranger. I think as an embryologist (or whoever actually does the ICSI) that's a lot of pressure, if you think about it that way, haha.

@Ash: My mom says I said the same thing when I was very young. I don't remember saying that.

Now I joke and say, "I guess my soul was up for a challenge!" She knows I'm kidding... (mostly).

Absolutely--- it would be an entirely different and unique person if it was different sperm or egg! But I think it comes down to how much you believe in fate. Either that one child was meant for you specifically and that sperm and egg always would have found each other, and you were meant to find your spouse and everything else in life was meant to be exactly as it is...... or you don't believe in fate and it is all random!

And this is discussion is exactly why I've posted elsewhere on the boards that interventions are not for me or my husband. It's totally a case of if it's meant to be, it will be. If it isn't, we don't believe in going any further, but that is not to say I don't support it for others. It's a matter of personal comfort.

@looch: I would've love to have conceived naturally but it wasn't happening for us. I asked myself if that meant I wasn't "supposed" to have a baby and decided that a higher power gave doctors the scientific technology and brainpower to help me.

@Shutterbug: good luck!

I think it's an amazing process, and it's hard not to think of the "what-ifs" of all the possible children you could have had...but I also think it's a complete fluke at the point of conception. Of course, nuture plays a huge part in how your children end up, but babies definitely have their own personality at birth, which is so amazing to me.

I don't believe that children or souls are waiting in heaven/somewhere for us and select us - it's a nice thought when you think of happy families who have no trouble conceiving and want kids and raise them well; but that idea fails for me when you think of all the awesome parents who cannot conceive naturally, or of all the shitty/abusive/murderous parents who have plenty of kids. I can't imagine any angel baby/kid selecting those abusive parents for themselves (or of any god/goddess/higher power subjecting babies to that torment); or of selecting those parents over awesome, loving parents who cannot conceive naturally. So, I don't believe in "what's meant to me" or that we get the kids we were meant to have. Just think it's random!

@Mrs. Jacks: That was so beautifully written!