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I love potlucks!

It's a good way to keep costs down, really. If they don't have a lot of money to spare for a party, and food is the biggest expense, I think it's an ok way to go.

I think they're fine once in a while...and I don't consider family bringing a dish or helping out to be "pot luck"

But I had a friend who always had "pot lucks" and it got annoying after a while. Especially when it was for events when gifts are also expected. So, not only do you want me to bring a present to your housewarming/birthday/shower/etc. ...but you also want me to provide the food for it?

I think that's a little much to ask.

I think it depends on the group, really. We've done it for DHs birthday quite a bit, but usually it's because people ALWAYS ask what they can bring. We always provide the main fare- be it burgers or whatever, but people often bring sharing things. If someone shows up without something? Thrown into the street! Not invited ever again! (I kid, I kid.... no one even notices if someone doesn't bring something )

So, quite honestly, I never knew they were inappropriate or bad etiquette until WB/HB. I grew up in a church where they had potlucks ALL the time and maybe it's where I grew up - but I have known people who have had potluck weddings, parties, etc. Everyone always seems to bring something and pitch in.

I haven't ever hosted a potluck as an adult, though. When I have had both of J's birthday parties, we made all the food. Holidays are alway potluck and usually at my parent's house.

@SLR: I think that's a pretty good rule to think about in regards to potlucks.

@Mrs. Pen: I grew up same way at Church, potlucks all the time! I swear every Sunday was some going away party, wedding party, 40th birthday, etc. I'm only now realizing it's not always the norm

@LuLu Mom: We do potlucks all the time, but when we do, we do all the heavy lifting. Meaning, we prepare the main course and provide drinks, cups, plates, plasticware, and napkins. We direct the potluck contributions by telling people in advance what the main course will be and say "please bring a salad/side or dessert!" If we're doing a taco bar, people will know to bring salad or bean dip or chips or rice, etc.

Potlucks annoy me any other way because NO ONE brings a main dish and so you just end up with a million desserts, sodas, and hummus. BOO. NO.

I like pot lucks! I think they're be fine for most occasions. I've been to potlucks at church and lots of other potluck parties for christmas, grey cup, halloween, ect.

I dislike the premise of a pot luck wedding though. IMO, a wedding reception is supposed to be a thank you from the hosts (the couple) to their guests for being in their lives and witnessing their vows (not to mention giving them gifts). Doesn't seem right to me to have people bring their own food to a wedding reception.

@SLR: This makes sense.

I hadn't thought about this before but I think in my mind gifting occasions is where I draw the line. I grew up with pot lucks being the norm except for birthdays, weddings and christenings.

@Cole: I agree that gifting occasions are crossing the line for me. It's one thing if people offer, but expecting others to bring food when they're already bringing a gift is taking it too far in my opinion.

I would be annoyed if this is the MO of all her parties!

I like potlucks but I do find it weird when someone is ALWAYS hosting a potluck. I knew someone like that once and it got weird after awhile! Like, either treat people for once or stop offering to host everything if it's such an issue!

I think a shower is the exception to the potluck or gift rule. If the host asks for a dish, I would still bring something even tho I'm expected to give a gift because the guest of honor isn't the host.

I also tend to think along the lines of gift giving occasions shouldn't be potluck.

I was one of the first of my friends to get my own place, so my close group of were at my apartment EVERY weekend because hanging out without parents was super cool. I would have gone broke constantly serving food/drinks to my "guests", so gatherings at my place were almost always "potluck" (rather "don't expect any food/drinks unless you brought it, and you better clean up after yourself, too" is probably more correct - haha).

Today, we host a dinner party with the same 10 people about quarterly, and one of my girlfriends constantly badgers about what she can bring until I think of something, so even though I cook everything else, to her I usually suggest she bring a salad or appie that matches what I'm planning to make or a bottle of wine after telling her to bring just herself several times. Now I'm wondering if she's ever like "Wow, parties at Sapphiresun's are ALWAYS potluck".

I love potlucks, but I think certain events when someone is hosting (ex: wedding, birthday party) shouldn't be.

@SLR: exactly.

I think this might be a regional thing. I know in my family, they've had potluck weddings and showers and stuff and no one thought it was weird!

Despite that, I do think some things are okay for potlucks and others are not. I think if gifts are expected, then the host probably should provide the food. And honestly, whenever I host things, I NEVER expect guests to help out with food (but will be happy to have the help!). I just think part of hosting is providing food, but that's just me. My in-laws always do potluck get-togethers (Easter, birthdays, Thanksgiving, etc), but that's always family, so maybe it's different.

I agree with everyone above about there being certain occasions when potlucks are ok and when they maybe are questionable (depending on region). I like going to potlucks as I really like to cook. However, I hate throwing them. But mainly b/c I'm a total control freak when it comes to the food I serve at my parties.