I'm at my wit's end. DD will be 3 next month and she is 90% potty trained with pee. Poop, is a whole different story. She WILL NOT TELL US SHE NEEDS TO POOP. She basically just goes in her panties. Every. Single. Time. She will tell us AFTER the fact and ask to be changed but will not do so beforehand. I will ask her if she needs to go and even ask her to do it in the bathroom (even if it IS in her panties) but she just won't. Plus she's not predictable with her bowel movements so it's not like I know she's going to go every morning at 9a (for example). She is NOT afraid of the little potty OR the adult toilet. She loves flushing and wiping and watching the water go bye bye. She has successfully used noisy public restrooms as well for pee. We have tempted her with treats, prizes, a potty chart. Yet I am cleaning poop from her panties every single day. I have even begged her to ask me for a diaper or a pull-up to poop in...but she won't! Help! What do I do?
-
Oh, how I wish I had advice for you, but we're in the same boat! I'm interested to read your responses.
-
Following because we are dealing with this too.
-
Ah, gotta love potty training. My son was the same way and really it just took time, lots and lots of time. One day it just clicked and he was ready to poop on the potty. We didn't even really start getting serious about it until he was 3.5 because he was just so resistant until then. It took a long time to pee train. We did prizes, treats, you name it but nothing really motivated him. Honestly I think it was just about when he was finally ready to do it. That probably isn't much help. It was a long and frustrating process for us. Hang in there!
-
Is it possible she's afraid to poop in the potty? My LO was fine with peeing but was clearly holding poop. We went bottomless for a morning around the time she usually goes and I just watched her like a hawk (which was easy considering she always hides in the corner she she needs to poop). We went back and forth to the potty for like an hour until she finally went. She was super nervous. Eventually, she just couldn't hold it anymore and be she was bottomless, she couldn't really hide it. She cried the whole time she was going and asked me to hug her - so that happened, me crouched over the little potty holding her while she pooped :shocked:. I hadn't realized she was so afraid because she had successfully pooped on the potty before. It took a few more times of successfully pooping before she was comfortable and not nervous/ afraid but now she does great. We have the occasional accident but that's par for the course I think.
-
@Canoli: thanks for chiming in! Yes, everything I've read says something "clicks" when they are truly ready.....but I'm impatient and SO SICK OF CLEANING POOP!
@Madison43: maybe? She's pooped in the potty like once and seemed fine but I think you're in to something, I did recall reading somewhere that when toddlers poop they feel like they are losing a piece of their body and that can be scary! I'm going to try the bottomless thing this weekend and see if that helps!thank you!
-
It took a lot of gummy bears and time for DS to start pooping in the potty. A stool with a handle he could hold helped too. That way he was in more of a squatting over the toilet position. I think it took almost 8 weeks for him to be completely poop trained.
-
@KT326: That's a good idea! something for her to "hang on" to!
Thanks!
-
Dies she have to stop playing and keep you company while you clean up the mess? That plus the promise of a reward plus a sturdy high stool would be my go to attempt at a solution.
-
@MrsSRS: oh yes! I walk her over to the toilet and we talk about how poop goes in the toilet and I take off her poopy underwear and she watches me dump it and then she flushes!
-
This happened with us too! http://boards.hellobee.com/topic/outright-refusal
I didn't want to hear it, but eventually she just did it. She snuck off to the bathroom without telling anyone, and then called us to see what she had done. She got all kinds of praise, treats, all of that. Then... she didn't do it again for a week. This went on for a bit- go in the toilet once or twice, then go in her undies. She just this week had her first success at school. Apparently, it just takes time, which is the last thing I know you want to hear, especially when you've cleaned a ton of poop undies. -
We struggled with this at first, too. LO was pee trained in like 2 days at 22 months but poop has been more of a process. I will say she never goes in panties or when she is not in bed but she would hold it for her naptime pull up.
I did a lot of things to try to encourage her. We watched The Poop Song on YouTube which we still sing often. If she pooped in her pull up, we would flush it together and talk about how poop goes in the potty. I added prunes, juice and plenty of water to her diet to make her poops softer and more regular. I learned that she likes to sit by herself to poop so I set her up with a stool for her feet (essential at first but now she doesn't need it) and a book and would let her do her thing. Now at like 5 months potty trained (wow!) she consistently poops in the potty. She'll get there!
-
I had to avoid answering in this thread for a few days, because I'm still not over the trauma of poop training!
My 3yo boy has been "training" since August and it's still a problem, but so so much better.
Most rewards and charts didn't work, they weren't quick enough. But one consistently good reward is the little ice cream sandwiches from Trader Joe's. He gets one immediately after pooping in the potty day or night.
The only thing that really "worked" was backing off as much as possible and being super super positive about it. We came very close to having major resistance, but backing off helped him.
Also two rules (I've done extensive reading). 1) Don't make them sit for any extended time. When LO goes it's quick. I really have to watch for the signs and then we get excited and run. 2) Let them be in control. This one is tough. I don't make him sit as a policy, but I really push if he farts or has a little tiny poop (he kind of cuts it offs because he knows not to go in his pants...he just does't always catch it ahead of time). So I try to let him tell me, but I always ask if he farts or if he's doing certain physical behaviors that he does before needing to poop.
I don't have answers per se, but I can definitely tell you all we've tried. It's frustrating when other kids get it so easily, but my pediatrician says many kids don't get it until 4!!
-
@Mrs Green Grass: @Ginabean3: also yes to those 2 rules! LO does not like to sit on the potty until like 2 seconds before she poops, so there is always a lot of running back and forth - she thinks she needs to go, sits, it doesn't come right out so she gets up and runs around and then comes back - rinse and repeat until she finally goes. I encourage to just sit for a minute and sometimes she will, but I never make her sit.
-
@meganmp: thank you for chiming in!
@daniellemybelle: looking for the Poop Song on YouTube right now!️
@Mrs Green Grass: thank you! That's everything I've read too, about them having to be in control.....
@Madison43: thank you as well! Sounds like I just need to be more patient and let her take the reins and do it on her own terms! -
Does she have a favorite character that you can get printed underwear to work with? DD was really into Frozen all of last year so I got her some Frozen character ones. When she wet or pooped in her underwear I would say "Oh no, Anna or Elsa is sad when they get dirty like that. We need to keep the underwear clean." It worked somehow and she only had 1 poop accident after that. She was fully potty trained a little after 2 at 27 months.
-
Ugh, I agonized over poop training for 8 LONG months. He pee trained really easily, but no amount of treats, new toys, youtube videos, or praise could get him to poop on the potty. Reward charts had worked really well for pee, but he just wouldn't poop on the potty. I got tired of cleaning underwear and put him back in pull-ups. We tried to get him to even just stand in the bathroom to poop too, but no dice. So I gave up and would just keep asking him if he wanted to go on the potty when he said he had to poop. One day, he just said yes, and he never looked back. He's worn underwear since that day and never had an accident. Some kids can be trained, but I think other kids just need to come to the decision on their own.
-
I would try bottomless! I read that having panties on feels too similar to having a diaper on, and they will reflexively go. After all, they've been pooping in a diaper for 3 years, so it's something they will do without even thinking about it. In the same vein, it's a weird sensation for them to poop into open space (over a potty) as opposed to in a diaper or in underwear.
So keep her bottomless for 2-3 days so she can't poop anywhere but open space and after an accident or two, she'll probably get it. And then try loose pants or a skirt with no underwear.
I'm definitely not an expert, but the bottomless and then commando under loose pants or skirt method worked for us, and LO pee and poop trained at the same time. She hasn't had a poop accident ever since the first week she trained, even though she still has a small pee accident very occasionally (every couple of weeks).
-
@Anagram: my lo has pooped straight on the ground so many times! He does not care whatsoever!
-
@Kimberlybee: she loves Frozen as well and that's a great idea!
@Anagram: thank you for your response! That makes a lot of sense to me...the fear of pooping into open space. I'm eager to try this weekend with the bottomless butt!
-
@Mrs Green Grass: aww. My LO pooped on the floor the first few days too but then mostly got it. The last poop accident was day 5 bottomless and then it never happened again!
-
@Anagram: question, when she does have a poop accident while she is bottomless, should I have her "help me" clean it up? Would cleaning it up reinforce the fact that not pooping in the potty is yucky?
-
@Ginabean3: I'm not sure. I never did, just because the method I followed encouraged being very calm and matter of fact about accidents. You want to walk the fine line to where they know poop doesn't go on the floor, but they aren't shamed. I basically would just repeat "oh no, you pooped on the floor. You are still learning, but next time, poop goes on the potty".
For us, the trick was ME learning my daughter's poop cues and getting her to the potty in time. All her accidents happened when I was not watching because I was taking care of the baby. It took 2 additional weeks before I could stop looking for cues and LO would just tell me on her own.
-
@Anagram: thanks! Yes I worry about missing her cues because I'm dealing with a 6 month old as well! Well I'll give it a try and stay as calm as possible lol.
-
Definitely just dealt with this in October and November. She was 28 months when we started and about 30 when we finished. It took about 24 hours for my daughter to be pee potty trained--and about 6 weeks for her to poop on the potty. I was so sick of hearing "she's not ready" and didn't want to erase the good progress we made by quitting so far in--so stressful, so I can identify!
She was finally at the point where she knew we did not want her to poop in her big girl panties, and so she would get sad when she did (she also did not poop at a regular time or anything)...and so she ended up developing a habit of hiding everytime she pooped. If we could catch her doing it, we would try to get her to the potty in time-for the first 10 days that barely ever worked, but we would still have her sit on the potty to try. We also promised ice cream and lollipops (desperation!!!) but that didn't work until she actually had a success. Once she had a couple days of success, which started at daycare-positive reinforcement (and the mention of Santa Claus coming...) seemed to do the trick.
Good luck!
ETA: She really loved using the potty without the toddler potty ring, but we finally determined she could not possibly relax to poop without it in the beginning. We had to get back into the habit of using it before she was fully trained.
-
This happened with us too.
I read the pooping chapter of "Oh Crap Potty Training", and they suggested showing/explaining the process of pooping to LO using play-doh and your hand/fist. Totally weird, and I felt super awkward doing it. Also, we explained that LO has control over their poop and when it comes out. We also propped his feet when sitting on the little potty (makes it easier to come out).
We did this with DS, after a week of him withholding and/or going in his undies....and it worked. He's been pooping on the potty for a week now.
Good luck!
-
I almost wrote a thread about this, but am "glad" to see one was recently started, already.
DD is 2.5 and is doing great, peeing in the potty. No accidents, asking to use the toilet, having successes almost every time, etc. We've got a good reinforcement system going, and she gets excited about wiping, toilet flushing, etc.
But she's holding out on # 2 and has pooped in her overnight pull-up, every single night. I think it's because she's finally relaxed in her sleep, and it just happens. She wakes very soon after and is clearly very upset about the mess.
I don't know if it's that she's afraid or uncomfortable. She refuses to use the little potty, and vastly prefers the big toilet with a tot ring (w/handles). But it really just seems like she has no idea how to poop, sitting down.
I'm going to try the playdoh idea mentioned above because I'm kind of at a loss, in regards to teaching this skill.
Thanks!
- Google Plus
- Stumbleupon
- Twitter
- Facebook
- Pinterest
- Favorite0
26 comments